


like someone you've chosen

by aetersyl



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Alternate Universe - Time Travel, Canon-Typical Violence, Implied/Referenced Past Child Abuse, M/M, Minor Character Death, POV Outsider, background canon relationships, implied/referenced past rape/non-con, mostly - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-24
Updated: 2020-09-14
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:13:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 67,151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26078524
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aetersyl/pseuds/aetersyl
Summary: With a flourish, Allison gestures to where Neil and Andrew are standing by the gate."Intense eye contact," she says."Intense eye contact," Matt agrees.Dan sighs.Neil and Andrew find themselves in the past, just in time for Neil's first year at Palmetto. They're making plans for their second time around now, how much to change and how much to not change. Except...Neither of them bothers to tell the rest of the team anything.
Relationships: Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard
Comments: 200
Kudos: 900





	1. Prologue + Matt

**Author's Note:**

> I swear, this was just meant to be a lighthearted oneshot.
> 
> I'll do my best to warn for the big things in each chapter, but please assume more or less canon-typical content and canon-typical warnings in general. But like, the lower end of it for some things like canon-typical violence. And please do feel free to let me know if I've forgotten a warning somewhere! 
> 
> That said, for this chapter, canon character death (yes, the same as in the first book) and non-canon injury of another character.
> 
> Thank you for giving this fic a try!

In the middle of nowhere Millport, Arizona, the kid who wouldn't even look him in the eye takes off running and David makes it inside the locker room just in time to see him practically _dive_ to dodge a racquet Andrew's grabbed from god knows where.

David stares as the kid ends up on his ass at Andrew's feet, a surprised laugh fit to rival Andrew's worst ones bursting out of him.

A strangely stiff Andrew lets the racquet drop with a clatter and opens his mouth to speak.

He's got no interest in hearing what Andrew's got to say after that though, so he cuts him off with a yell of his own.

"Oh, Coach," Andrew says and he has the gall to look surprised he's been caught.

David rolls his eyes and he's working up something real scathing, only to be interrupted by Josten flying into motion again.

"Fuck you," Josten says as he pushes himself up to his feet, voice surprisingly subdued for what he's saying. "Whose racquet did you steal?"

"Borrowed," Andrew says cheerfully and David isn't listening anymore.

He isn't listening as they exchange words again.

("But I'm no use to you if you break me, right," Josten says.

"Or if you're nice.")

No, he's turning toward a wide-eyed Hernandez, a baffled Kevin behind him, where he's already moving to intercept whatever that kid's about to get up to, when Andrew's voice, louder this time, cuts off whatever he was about to say.

"So, you're signing, aren't you?" Andrew asks with a raised eyebrow, the first sliver of interest he's seen the kid show since David pulled him onto the plane back in South Carolina.

Josten holds Andrew's gaze for a moment. Then, unsmiling, he cuts his eyes toward David. "Where do I sign?"

David's not about to question such a quick 180, not when it gets him Josten stuffing the contract into that battered duffel bag of his and telling him he'll have it signed by tomorrow.

"I was worried his parents would be more of a problem," Hernandez tells him later in the parking lot on the way to his SUV, with Andrew and his stupidly short legs leading the way.

David scrubs a hand through his hair and shakes his head. "I'll talk to them if I have to," he says. "Kid must've thought of something though, way he changed his mind so fast."

Hernandez winces. "He's always skittish off the court, but that was still..." He trails off uncertainly.

Andrew looks over his shoulder at them. "Perhaps he had divine inspiration." He chuckles. "At the other end of my racquet."

"Andrew--"

"I didn't hit him!" he says cheerfully, holding his hands up, and turns in place to face the exit to the stadium.

Where Josten, though he's looking a little green around the edges as he exits, has eyes only for Andrew yet again.

"Too good to ride with us, Josten?"

David watches as Josten raises his eyebrows at Andrew in reply, tapping his fingers to his temple without breaking eye contact, before running off, all with barely a look at him and Hernandez, and the intense way Andrew stares after him, and thinks:

Aw shit.

Aw fuck, he's not looking forward to this.

* * *

The first time Matt sees his new roommate--and he's crossing his fingers that this guy's easier to get along with than Seth--he's in the Foxhole Court's lounge and he almost doesn't even see him.

But Neil Josten's a good foot shorter than Matt, so who can blame him when he almost misses the tiny little guy when he first walks in? It's the grin that catches his attention, small and reserved, but very clearly aimed at Matt.

"Matt Boyd?" Neil asks before he can introduce himself and Matt grins in return, wide and easy, and reaches out to shake his hand and introduce himself properly.

He likes him already. Matt's grin stays firm even when Coach tries to brain him with the keys or even at the news that Neil's been stuck practicing with Kevin and the monsters. Hell, it's hard _not_ to smile when Abby comes out to greet him.

But it does falter when Neil tells him that duffel bag's all the luggage he's brought with him.

Hm. He's definitely going to have to take Neil on that shopping trip Wymack's suggesting, he decides as he waves goodbye to him and Abby.

By the time they're in his truck, he decides he's got a good feeling about this though. If Seth can just cooperate this year, then... Yeah. Yeah, they're going to have a good year in their suite. There's just no way they won't.

Matt makes sure to offer to deal with the monsters for Neil if he needs it, but Neil? Neil just snorts like he thinks it's a joke, like the monsters down the hall are just some big joke, and honestly? Honestly? Did Coach and Abby not warn him?

Matt blinks at him in surprise and offers again, insisting this time.

"It's fine," Neil says, looking a little like he's holding back an actual laugh now. He has spent time with them since he got to Palmetto, right? That's what Coach said? God, they probably took a freshman as a challenge. "You don't have to do anything to Kevin, Andrew won't do anything to me."

And oh, how Matt wishes he could believe that. "Seriously, man, I know you haven't known him that long yet, but Andrew's--"

Neil straightens up in his seat, sudden enough that Matt just has to turn his face and get a good look at him, rather than shooting him another quick glance. "Are those the dorms?"

Matt blinks.

"Oh, yeah. There it is. Fox Tower," he remembers to say. He gives Neil a minute to let him think he's distracted him while he parks, then gives him a pointed look. "Just promise me you'll take the monsters seriously, all right?"

"Wouldn't dream of doing otherwise," Neil says easily.

Somehow, Matt's not reassured, but that'll have to be good enough for now.

"Got everything you need?" he asks Neil later, once he's picked his bunk. "I'm going to go pick up the girls at the airport, but we can stop somewhere on the way if you're missing anything."

Neil shakes his head. "Got everything I need for now. Sheets and all," he says, like he's telling a joke, then leans back against the bunk beds to look up at Matt. "I'm fine though, go without me. I'll just get all my stuff settled while you're out."

Matt nods slowly and, when Neil makes no move to stop him the way Seth would, reaches out to squeeze his shoulder. "I'll be back soon. I can't wait for you to meet Dan and Renee!"

"Yeah, yeah, me too. Get out of here already." Neil waves him off with a small smile, pointedly facing his bed until Matt laughs and exits the bedroom.

"Okay, okay! I know when I'm not wanted!"

Yeah. He's more sure of it by the second. This is going to work out.

Spotting the door to the monsters' dorm where it's been left ajar puts a dent in his mood, more so when he hears Nicky and Aaron's voices from inside, but at least everything sounds peaceful in there for now.

He puts it out of his mind while he goes to pick up Dan and Renee at the airport, save for responding to a muttered grumble or two from Dan about how their rookie's getting such a terrible first impression of the Foxes. But it all comes slamming right back into the forefront of his mind when they step out of the elevator and find Neil with Andrew in the hallway.

Matt blinks, hard, his feet rooted to the spot. But when he rubs his eyes, that is indeed still Andrew Minyard there, talking to Matt's new freshman roommate without any hint of violence on either end (yet).

"Uh."

"Oh, great," Dan mutters and she and Renee have no such trouble getting moving.

"--In any case, we have company now," Andrew says just as Matt manages to unstick his feet from the floor and Dan and Renee have reached the space between the monsters' dorm and Matt's, completely derailing whatever Neil had been in the middle of saying.

Neil looks up at them curiously, but not distressed, which does not make any sense at all.

"Hello, Andrew. Making friends already?" Renee greets him, smiling pleasantly.

"Yes, yes, hello. About time, Renne!" he says with a wave, earning himself a wider smile from her.

Then she's turning to Neil and inclining her head slightly in greeting. "You must be Neil. It's a pleasure to meet you."

The corner of Neil's lip tugs up in a small smile and he nods in return. "Yeah. Renee?"

"That's right. And this is..."

"Dan." And, though she shoots Andrew a suspicious look--reminding him she's got her eye on him, no doubt--Dan still manages a friendly smile for Neil, too, her eyes crinkling at the corners. "Matt wouldn't shut up about you on the way here. All good things though, I promise. It's good to finally meet you in the flesh!"

Neil lets out a tiny, quiet little laugh. "You too, Cap." He glances sidelong at Matt. "He seemed real excited to go see you."

It's Dan's turn to laugh now. "Oh, I bet he was." Much to Matt's disappointment though, the laughter dries up quickly and she glances at Andrew again. "Hey," she says carefully. "He giving you any trouble?"

"Why, Dan, I'm hurt." Andrew grins up at her and gestures expansively at the empty hallway around them. "Do you see me giving anyone any trouble? Very cruel to think I must be doing anything right now."

"Uh huh," Matt says under his breath.

Neil's smile disappeared somewhere in the middle of that, and he speaks before any of the rest of them can really answer Andrew. "No, we were just talking. Andrew didn't do anything."

"You're sure?" Matt asks and he's just concerned. Honest. This is the first year none of the monsters are freshmen themselves, after all.

"Of course he's sure. We were just discussing how Neil here's going to ride to the stadium with us today. Right, Neil?" Andrew asks without taking his eyes off him and Dan.

Dan crosses her arms. "Did he? Why?"

Andrew raises his eyebrows, halfway to an innocent expression he just can't pull off, but doesn't answer her question.

Neil glances at Andrew, then at the rest of them, and shrugs. "I just figured Matt's truck would be full and he offered. It's not a big deal."

"Not a big--"

Renee hums, effectively interrupting him. "That's very kind of you, Andrew. Thank you."

He flicks his fingers dismissively in answer and doesn't argue otherwise.

He's never going to understand that friendship.

That relationship? Whatever it is, he kind of regrets that bet already.

Andrew must finally read the room for once though, because he steps away from Neil then, though he doesn't turn away from him just yet. "We'll be waiting. Don't be late."

"You know I won't be," Neil says lightly.

Somehow, in the space of the next few seconds, there's intense enough eye contact between the two of them that Matt kind of feels like he should look away.

Maybe? Is this some kind of new intimidation tactic Andrew's trying? Some veiled death threat?

Matt should talk to Wymack about this. Hell, he should say something right now.

But the moment's gone as soon as it starts and, after giving Neil a two-fingered salute, Andrew finally makes his way to his own dorm.

"Okay, I don't like this," Matt announces.

Neil blinks up at him, his nose wrinkling in confusion. "Why? It's fine, Matt. Honest."

Before answering, Matt helps Dan usher Neil into the girls' dorm, Renee following at a more leisurely pace behind them. Once inside, he points him toward the sofa. Neil gives him a bemused look, but he obediently heads there.

With Neil settled there with a drink, the rest of them sitting around him, Dan sighs and leans forward, resting her elbows on her knees. "I really didn't want them to be your first impression of the Foxes, I'm sorry, Neil," she says, so heartfelt that Matt's heart aches in response.

This team is important to her, he knows. And the way their second newest members act still bothers her more than he wishes it would.

"Seriously, Dan, I'm..." Neil looks down at the glass in his hands. "It's okay. They didn't do anything to me. We really were just talking."

"Yet," she mutters darkly.

Matt hides a smile at that. It's just... She's just being protective because of him.

"They won't do anything to me later either. I'm sure of it."

Dan still looks skeptical, but at a shake of Renee's head, she sighs and Matt can just about see her physically letting it go for the moment.

"Okay," she says quietly. "Okay, Neil, but I'm timing those assholes. If they don't have you at the court on time and in one piece they _will_ be sorry."

Neil looks a bit like he can't decide whether to smile or frown, the result somewhere closer to _constipated,_ but his tone is still light as he says, "Thanks, Dan. But you won't have to do anything. The way Nicky drives, we'll probably even get there before all of you do."

Dan's lips twitch, "Maybe if Matt doesn't drive like my grandmother we can prove you wrong."

"Hey!"

-

It isn't until they're all settled in the lounge in the stadium, Neil thankfully still in one piece and the monsters blessedly quiet, that Matt lets himself really think about Seth again. He gets the feeling the guy's either going to love or hate Neil and he knows which one he's hoping it is. Because, for once, he really would love for the usual Fox drama to not spread to his own damn dorm.

Beside him, Dan's head snaps up when the door bangs open and he's dimly aware of the other's reactions, from Neil going still in his chair to Renee settling more comfortably into the sofa.

Moment of truth.

Seth stomps in as cheerfully as ever, barely even a greeting to anyone but Wymack and Abby, and after sparing a moment to throw Neil a dirty look, throws himself into a chair.

Matt holds back a wince. Talk about a great start.

Dan huffs and out of the corner of his eye, Matt can see her fingers digging into her knees. Still, she doesn't say anything and no one else seems inclined to break the silence. Allison, fashionably late of course, saves them from the awkward silence as she exchanges cheerful greetings with Abby and the girls. She doesn't spare Seth a glance before she picks out her own seat.

And Matt does wince now.

He feels his chances for a peaceful year with both his roommates die and wither away the second Allison perches on the arm of Neil's chair and slings an arm around his shoulders, only for Neil to greet her in the same friendly, if reserved, manner he's greeted the rest of them.

Allison's face is nothing short of triumphant, while Seth visibly fumes in his own seat.

He's guessing this means Seth and Allison are off again.

Oh, this is going to be just great once they get back to the dorm. Seth is absolutely going to be graceful about Allison trying to use Neil to make him jealous, even when Neil's eyes don't stray at all toward all the skin she's putting on display beside him.

Absolutely.

Matt holds back a sigh. And another when Coach breaks the news about Evermore. He finally gives in to the urge to run his hands down his face somewhere between Kevin begging Andrew to help him and Coach admitting that Neil already knew about the change, too.

No wonder he didn't look surprised at all, not even while Kevin and Andrew were arguing.

Renee stops Neil when he gets up to leave the lounge and, though he still hauls ass out of there, she manages to extract a promise to ride back to Fox Tower with them before he leaves the lounge. Why he can't just wait for them inside, Matt has no idea, but he can't really complain when Dan takes advantage of the situation to grill the monsters for answers.

 _The monsters Neil won't be riding back to the dorms with,_ Matt can't help but think with a brief, but powerful, flash of relief.

"So," Dan says, the very second Renee's left with Abby for her physical. "Invoking my rights as captain here. What do you all think of Neil? You've practiced with him, right?"

Kevin, surprisingly, does not launch into a rant about Neil's exy-playing skills. He doesn't even seem to hear her question at all as he shifts uncomfortably on his seat, his eyes somewhere behind and to the left of where Wymack's standing by the door to Abby's office.

Nicky, never one to miss a chance to talk, is the first one to answer. "Not bad! His attitude could use a little work, but it suits him, you know? Easy on the eyes, too. Kind of--"

Aaron cuts him off with a groan and an elbow to the ribs.

"Aaron! Come on!"

Matt lets out a short laugh. "I think she means on the court, Nicky."

"I was getting to that," Nicky complains, rubbing at where Aaron elbowed him.

"Then get to it," Andrew says.

Nicky glances at Andrew, then immediately away to the floor, and back to Dan, his ever present smile somewhat strained the way it often gets around Andrew. Not for the first time, Matt considers how Nicky might be if his crazy fucking cousins weren't around all the goddamn time. Or one crazy fucking cousin and one asshole cousin.

Whatever.

He's not really willing to give Nicky a blanket pass for everything he and his cousins have gotten up to, but at times like this he wonders...

Well. Again. Whatever.

Nicky clears his throat. "He needs more time with us, I think," he says in a more even tone. "Neil's good, he just needs to get used to the team."

Aaron scoffs. "He better. He's not being aggressive enough and that's going to bite him in the ass with this team."

Allison rolls her eyes. "Let's fucking hope he doesn't agree with _your_ definition of aggressive, then."

"My definition of aggressive?" Aaron scowls.

"Yeah, you heard me." Allison taps her nails against her bottom lip. "We want him aggressive enough to not get maimed on the court, not to maim his marks the way you would."

"Don't give me that. You're not--"

"They're not going to maim him," Andrew speaks up suddenly. Seeing all eyes on him at once, he grins even wider. Wide enough, _Matt's_ cheeks hurt in sympathy. "The backliners would have have to catch him first. But he's fast, could probably outrun every single one of you. Like a rabbit." He laughs. "Oh, he'll just love that comparison, won't he?"

Seth mutters something under his breath, too low for Matt to hear but very obviously not complimentary.

"Okay," Dan says slowly. "Thank you for your input." She looks up at Wymack, who's been very determinedly not paying attention to anything they say. "How fast are we talking, Coach?"

Wymack doesn't miss a beat. "Kid clocked a four-minute mile in his school in Arizona. He's fast."

"A shrimpy little dude like that?" Seth asks, his posture going from _petulant teenager_ to _petulant teenager vaguely paying attention._ At Wymack's nod, he continues, "Doesn't mean shit if he can't score."

Wymack waits while the door beside him opens and Renee steps out, then says, with a dismissive gesture at the lot of them, "And that's why you're all going to practice so you can actually score on the other team. Now, get off your asses and keep it moving! Abby's waiting for you, you little shits, and she hasn't got all day."

"Yes, Coach," Matt laughs, Dan echoing him beside him.

-

He doesn't see much of Neil after practice that first weekend back, but Matt is, admittedly, distracted. He has a great time with Dan at the movies, and an even greater time when they come back and see neither Neil nor Seth have come back to the dorm yet.

So he's very, _very_ distracted.

It isn't until he and Dan are putting breakfast together in the dorm's kitchen, just after Seth stumbles in and straight into the bedroom, mumbling a vague _yes_ to Dan's suggestion they all meet up for lunch, that he thinks to wonder. "Hey," he says to Dan. "We didn't miss Neil coming back in last night, did we?"

Dan pauses with a piece of toast halfway to her mouth, her brow furrowing. "No," she says slowly, then pulls her phone out of the pocket of her shorts and holds it up. "Want me to ask Renee if she's seen him? He might've wanted to leave the dorm to us."

Matt shakes his head. "I'll just call him myself, don't worry. Not that he can't, like..." He pulls out his own phone, scrolling through for the number Neil had given him earlier in the week with a wry look on his face. _I just got it._ he said, in that strange way he had that made it sound like he was trying to tell a joke. "Not that he needs a babysitter or anything, but it's his first week in the dorms, you know? We gotta keep an eye on our freshmen." Especially after last year, he doesn't say. But from the look on her face, from the way she gestures at his phone expectantly, she gets it, too. Probably even more than he does, honestly. As captain, he knows she takes the Foxes' safety seriously.

Neil picks up on the third ring.

"Matt?"

"Hey, Neil! It's Matt, you awake enough to talk?"

Neil huffs out what might be a laugh. "Yeah, I've been up for a while. Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, everything's great! Me and Dan were just wondering where you've been. We didn't hear you come back last night." In a stage whisper, he says, "But it's safe to come back now, honest."

"You can have the dorm for now, Matt. I'm in Columbia with Andrew."

All at once, Matt feels wide awake, his fingers tightening around his phone. "I. Neil, I'm sorry, you're-- what? Where? With who?!"

He puts the phone on speaker when Dan sidles up closer, her eyes wide in alarm.

"In Columbia with Andrew," Neil says patiently. "Why, did something happen?"

Dan sucks in a breath, her mouth falling open in surprise.

"Jesus, Neil," Matt blurts out. "What the hell did you do that for? Did he--" He cuts himself off, breathing deep as Dan mutters something about finding Andrew herself. "Are you all right?" he makes himself ask instead.

He knows, he knows entirely _too well_ what Andrew is capable of, even when he has his own version of good intentions.

"I'm fine," Neil says, a little less casually this time. There's a voice somewhere in the background that sounds a little too much like _Andrew_ saying something then and Matt has to bite his tongue to let Neil speak. "I'm just having breakfast at their house right now. Nobody's kidnapped me to Columbia, Matt."

He can just barely make out the voice he's now sure is Andrew's saying something again now and thinks he hears Neil, sounding farther away from his phone now, say what sounds like, "They're just worried."

"For good reason, Neil," Dan says firmly.

"Look, I'll see you tonight, okay? Don't worry, nothing's going to happen to me."

He exchanges a look with Dan, who shakes her head, a grim look on her face. "Neil, just... " he falters. "Just be careful, okay?"

"Sure. I'll be okay."

Neil hangs up. For several moments, all he can hear is the sound of the coffee machine running, Seth's loud snores somewhere behind him, then Dan slumps back against the counter and sighs explosively.

"Well, this sucks," she says, her toast forgotten on the counter now.

Matt nods, then, "If he's done anything and made Neil not tell us, I'm going to fucking kill him," he says, very calmly.

Dan doesn't disagree. "This could be really bad."

Matt mirrors her position and grimaces, worry taking over again. "Did he sound fine to you? He better be fine."

"I don't know," Dan says. She lets out a harsh breath, gesturing helplessly. "I don't know. How can Neil just... After what the monster did to you!"

Matt shrugs. "Neil doesn't know about that. And I guess..." He sighs. He's not mad for himself, he reminds himself. But he's not sure he trusts that things will turn out as well for Neil if Andrew's taken an interest in him. And before the school year even starts, at that. "I don't know. Let's hope they get back soon. I don't like how much attention Andrew's been paying to Neil."

"You and me both."

They don't get back soon.

Matt and Dan escape Seth's snoring to have lunch in the girls' dorm with Allison, who sniffs and wrinkles her nose when Matt brings up Seth. He's guessing _something_ went wrong there again last night, but Allison isn't explaining and he's not pushing.

She wrinkles her nose again at the news of where Neil has gone off to, then straightens up in her seat and sets her elbows on the table. "And he didn't say anything before leaving?" she says. "Fuck. Did Renee know about this?"

"No clue," Matt says, but that's an idea, isn't it?

Renee joins the three of them minus Seth when they go out to dinner and that's the perfect chance to ask her. Except she only purses her lips at the question and shakes her head in that disappointed way she has.

"Yes, I did know. But they've been getting along well enough all this time. I don't think there's anything to worry about," she says, then doesn't answer a single other question, which.

Which doesn't help Matt's nerves at all.

He spends the whole time resisting the urge to call Neil again, until they come back to the dorms and there Neil is. He's with Andrew in the hallway outside their rooms, Nicky's voice coming from somewhere inside his own dorm, like nothing's happened.

Dan reaches him before Matt can, hovering over him and only just keeping herself from patting him down for injuries. "Are you hurt?"

Andrew sighs loudly and points at her. "This is extremely unfair again, Dan! Here he is, in one piece." He gestures emphatically at a suddenly tight-faced Neil. "And I didn't do a single thing to him!"

His hurt act is kind of ruined by the wide grin still on his face.

And by the look on Neil's face, quickly smoothed out into a wry little smile. It doesn't look like any of the others notice, and he isn't sure what to make of it himself. Neil doesn't look uncomfortable when he glances down at Andrew again, which is kind of unbelievable after a day spent in Columbia with him, honestly, but...

What is it then?

"Neil," Matt starts.

"He's telling the truth," Neil says firmly. "We just hung out for a while. Ask Nicky."

Allison scoffs, muttering something unflattering about Nicky under her breath.

Andrew shrugs and taps two fingers to his temples. "Well, I'll just leave you to the busybodies then, eh, Josten? You have fun with them."

Neil rolls his eyes, earning himself nothing more than a short huff of laughter from Andrew, and says, "See you tomorrow, Andrew."

Matt raises his eyebrows. Tomorrow?

What the hell.

-

It's weird.

Matt notices it almost immediately after that weekend Neil spends in Columbia.

Rather than avoid Andrew and the monsters like someone with a functioning sense of self-preservation would do, _nothing happened_ or not, he keeps. Hanging. Around. Them.

Oh, Neil still rides to and from practice in Matt's truck. He hangs out with Matt in their suite. When invited, he goes to watch movies in the girls' dorm. He goes out to breakfast, lunch, or dinner with them when they ask. It's just...

It's weird.

Worst of all, Andrew, out of all the monsters, keeps seeking Neil out.

Sort of.

It's not like they're being buddy buddy in front of the rest of them, baiting comments here and there aside.

("Wow, imagine if you actually played like that more often."

"Oh, Josten, you still think I care about this stupid sport?"

"You still think I believe that?")

But he doesn't have the decency to just ignore Neil the way Kevin does outside the court and the way Aaron does all the time.

No, it feels like every time Matt starts paying attention, he sees one walking away from the other.

Or looking away from each other.

Or looking _at_ each other.

He's sure he sees Neil coming down the stairs to the roof shortly after Andrew comes down them himself once, too.

And it's just... It just makes him more than a little nervous, the way he keeps seeing Neil with Andrew. It's not... It's not even that Matt's holding a grudge about Columbia or anything, though it's definitely not a memory he wants to dwell on too much. But...

But it's _Neil,_ who's barely any taller than Andrew and Aaron and who definitely doesn't know what Andrew is capable of, hanging around him, way too goddamn often.

Hell, do any of them really know what Andrew, constantly flying high on that medication of his, is capable of?

Or worse, what he's capable of those sober weekends in Columbia.

The second time--which Matt did not know about at all before the fact either, thank you very much--it's Neil who calls Matt first, sometime past midnight.

He's still awake, sprawled out in the girls' dorm with Dan and Renee, when his phone buzzes against his leg. In his tipsy state--okay, more than tipsy, a bit more than tipsy--it takes him a moment to remember to pull it out of his pocket and he answers without looking at the number calling. He's only slightly surprised when he hears Neil's voice on the other end. He rarely ever calls him himself, but it's not like he never has before. "Neil? What's going on? You get back okay?"

Come to think of it, where has Neil been tonight... Did he ever answer the text Matt sent him earlier?

"Yeah, I'm okay. I just wanted to tell you not to wait up for me."

Matt blinks. "Huh?"

He doesn't quite catch the next thing Neil says, with the way his voice suddenly sounds distant and muffled, but before Matt can ask him to repeat himself, he says, voice almost amused in that weird way of his, "You texted me to check up on me, remember? But I'll be back tomorrow."

Ohhh, right. That was the text Matt sent him. "Oh, yeah," he says and mouths _He's okay_ at Dan and Renee's questioning looks, before the last part of what he said finally sinks in. "Wait, what? You staying at Coach's place?"

"No, I'm at the cousins' place in Columbia. We're staying the night," Neil says. Like that's a normal fucking thing to say.

Again.

"Yeah, he's staying with us!" Matt hears, distant and tinny and he realizes, all at once, that the murmur he heard earlier wasn't Neil at all.

"Is that Nicky?" he asks, instead of the half a dozen other questions running through his mind.

Neil sighs, but it's not an irritated sound. "Yeah, that's Nicky. He's drunk."

"He's drunk," Matt repeats. "So you're in Columbia... clubbing with the monsters?"

"He's what?" Dan hisses, already scooting closer to him.

"He's in Columbia and he was clubbing with us," Nicky says, sounding farther away again. Another voice that isn't Neil's answers him.

Sluggish as he is, Matt can still recognize that voice.

Sort of.

"Is that Aaron or Andrew with you?"

"It's Andrew," Neil says easily. "See you tomorrow."

"W-wait a minute!"

"Bye, Matt!" Nicky calls out, just before the line goes dead.

Uh.

Dan sighs and, honestly, he's gotta agree.

-

The next day, it's like nothing happened. And the next.

He and Dan and Allison have a lot of conversations about it.

A _lot._

They're not.

Listen.

They're not _hovering_ or even being _unfair_ or _too distrustful,_ the way Renee says.

Matt--and Dan and Allison, thank you, because Seth sure doesn't care--are just concerned. They're displaying a healthy amount of concern because Andrew taking such a sudden interest in someone is unusual. It's unusual enough to be a bad sign!

It's fucking Andrew!

And, seriously, he's not holding a grudge. And, anyway, it should be ridiculous to be so wary of a guy over a foot shorter than him, but.

As he watches him and Neil exchange yet another round of entirely too intense eye contact in the dorms, in the Foxhole Court, in the Fox Tower parking lot, in _Perimeter Road while Matt's on his way back from class and neither of them have even noticed he's there..._

He's worried. He can admit it. There's nothing wrong with being worried.

In the lounge the next week, he walks in to find Neil and Andrew leaning against the same couch, sounding like they've just cut off mid-conversation and he's finally had enough. He exchanges a look with Allison and grabs onto one of her theories.

"So, I've been meaning to ask for a while, but... Do you guys, uh..." Matt says, looking carefully between the two of them. "Know each other or something? From... before you got recruited, Neil?"

Andrew only grins. "Who? Us?"

"No," Neil says, face solemn. "We met when Wymack came to recruit me."

"Ooookay," Dan mutters.

Allison rolls her eyes. "Real buddy-buddy for two guys who just met."

"Are you trying to imply no one could ever want to talk to me, Reynolds?"

"Yes. Yes, I am. So whatever you think--"

Matt tunes out whatever comes next, since Kevin chooses that moment to make his entrance and distract Andrew's already nonexistent attention span from responding to Allison.

Well. That's one theory down.

Neil wouldn't lie to him, right?

-

Maybe he spends too much time considering the mystery of Neil and Andrew and their intense extended eye contact.

He stumbles out of bed late--no, very early--one Sunday, thinking he'll get some water then stumble right back into bed. But on the way there, he finds the living room already occupied, soft voices drifting out into the bedroom door.

Matt blearily looks behind him, finds Seth fast asleep and Neil's bed empty and thinks, _huh._

Neil said he'd be back from Columbia after Matt went to bed, right? Maybe he's still up and on the phone with whoever he's always texting.

(Andrew? Is it Andrew?)

 _He always texts me, too,_ he thinks and shrugs.

Whatever. He'll just cross the living room into the kitchen and back real quick and not bother Neil. Not a problem.

Except halfway there he looks at the couch and, uh.

Oh.

Oh?

"Hey, Neil," he says and takes in the way Neil is holding very, very still. "Why's Andrew got his head on your lap?"

They stare at each other.

"You're half-asleep, Matt," Neil says, too carefully. "It's probably not what you think."

True. Yeah. He is half-asleep. Neil's so right, Matt can barely even keep his eyes open right now.

Matt looks between him and Andrew's blank expression, no smile in sight, and decides. Yeah. He's just going to take Neil's word for it.

He roughly pushes aside the voice telling him he knows exactly what he's looking at and decides he wants nothing to do with it.

Yeah.

"I'm dreaming," he declares, while still very much awake and aware of it.

Yeah, he's definitely dreaming.

"Sure," Neil says, while Andrew just blinks up at Matt in silence.

Wait, is Neil's hand in Andrew's hair? Aw, fuck.

"Yeah, okay," he says quickly. "G'night, dream Neil and Andrew. No fucking clue why I'm dreaming of this."

"Who knows," Andrew deadpans and that's Matt's cue.

Water later.

Sleep now.

In the morning, he considers telling Seth about his crazy-ass (definitely, absolutely not a) dream, but. Hm. Nah. Not this time.

-

Soon enough, it's the least of his concerns anyway.

Kevin drags Neil to go on Kathy Ferdinand's show with him, though not before Andrew whispers something in Kevin's ear that has him turning pale as a ghost, and it's.

It's a shitshow.

But kind of a badass shitshow? Like.

Damn, Matt didn't know Neil had it in him. Pissing Riko off kind of seems worth it if he gets a show like that out of it.

Honest, he comes out of it in a great mood!

Until nothing seems quite so funny anymore.

Until he's rushing in his truck with Dan and Renee to the hospital, hanging up on Wymack saying he and Abby are on their way and they're trying to call Neil and.

"I told Allison to stick with him," Neil tells him later, where he's standing beside Matt's chair in the waiting room.

The rest of the monsters except for Andrew are at the edge of the waiting room, having just come barreling straight back from Columbia in Andrew's fancy-ass car.

Matt glances over at them, touched despite himself at the fact they even showed up, then lifts a shoulder in a shrug. He turns his attention to where Dan and Renee are talking to a nurse and says, "Coach wanted us all to stick together. It was a good idea."

Neil sighs, heavy enough he can feel it. "But Allison got hurt."

"They both got hurt," Matt points out. "She'll be okay."

He swallows past the lump in his throat and doesn't say _Seth will be okay._ He tries not to think too hard about Seth at all right now.

"Yeah, but..." Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Neil shake his head. "Never mind. Did they say when they're letting her out?"

"Tonight, probably. But..."

Neil nods. He doesn't need to say it.

"I'm going to go outside."

Matt reaches out to pat his arm. "Hey. Take it easy, all right? Anything changes, I'll text you."

"Yeah. Yeah, thanks, Matt."

* * *

"That could have gone worse," Andrew says where they're tucked away in an alcove outside the hospital, his eyes on the unlit cigarette in his hands.

He's not shaking anymore, but Neil can tell the withdrawal's still got him a little unsteady from the way he holds the cigarette just a little too carefully.

"Could've gone better," Neil says, and it really doesn't do anything for the sick pit of dread in his stomach.

Andrew turns an unimpressed look on him. "Don't make me the optimist here, Josten. That's disgusting."

Neil huffs out a weak laugh. "Never."

He shakes his head when Andrew offers him the pack of cigarettes, staying silent as he lights his.

They don't speak for a while, but Andrew presses his shoulder against his and that's... That's good, actually. That's good, when both of them aren't quite steady enough on their feet.

"I can hear you thinking," Andrew says at length.

Rather than answer, Neil steals his cigarette and takes a long drag.

Andrew only looks up at him silently, one eyebrow raised expectantly.

"Seth's still dead."

"I am aware. Do you care that he is?"

Neil shifts on his feet. "Not that much."

 _Allison will be okay,_ he's been telling himself since they got to the hospital. She just got knocked out (by whoever killed Seth, by whoever killed Seth, by whoever--). A concussion might not be anything to joke about, but all the Foxes have been through worse.

 _Allison will be okay,_ he's been telling himself again and again and somewhere in the middle of it all, he realized for the final time that he really doesn't care that much about what happens to Seth in comparison.

It's a thought that would horrify most of the rest of the Foxes, he knows, much like how horrified they'd been the first time around when they realized how much better the team did without Seth, but well.

It is what it is. It's not like he feels nothing. It's just that if he had to pick between Seth and Allison, the choice would be clear.

For Allison's sake, he tried, but Seth was never part of his family.

Andrew understands, at least. That's what the question means and he nods like he was expecting that answer.

"So your issue is..."

He lets Andrew take his cigarette back, watches the way he switches it to his left hand, and holds out his right hand. Wordlessly, Neil reaches out to link their fingers together.

Strange, to be doing this when they've been brought back. They weren't even friends at this point. But he's known, from the moment he went from falling asleep beside Andrew in their bed to finding himself running from Wymack and his contract, that this would be...

Strange doesn't even begin to cover it.

(He tucks away the memory of the elation when he ran into Andrew and saw the recognition in his eyes. It helps, whenever this all begins to feel particularly unreal.)

"If this is what happens when we try to change one thing," he finally says. "What happens when we try to change something bigger?"

He asked Allison not to leave Seth alone when they went out. And all it got them was Seth still dead and Allison knocked out by whoever Riko had sent. And fuck, but they'll need a plan for that, too, if the Foxes figure out why Seth died from the start now.

But what happens when they try to avoid bigger things now?

When they try to avoid Thanksgiving?

Neil has to suppress a shudder at the thought.

"We deal with it," Andrew says simply. He tightens his hand almost imperceptibly around Neil's.

He doesn't bother to hide that it's comforting for them both. Not anymore.

"I want you to be able to get off those meds. But I don't want it to get fucked up." He does. He does so badly. Andrew hasn't said much of anything about them, but he knows he resents having to take them again, that he resents the addiction that won't let him just stop taking them.

They really, really need to fast track a way to get him off them.

"It won't." Andrew huffs, then offers up, "Bee is listening."

He's not surprised.

 _Far too high a dosage,_ Betsy said once, on the stand during Aaron's trial. _They didn't take into account how the medication would affect his body or whether another one would have worked best. It harmed him more than I can say._

Neil watches as Andrew drops the cigarette, grinding it under the heel of his boot.

Yeah, he doesn't think Betsy will take much convincing, actually. It's the attorneys.

"Good," he says and lapses into silence.

Andrew doesn't let them stay silent for long. He bumps his shoulder against Neil's again and says, "Stop. We will win and Riko will lose."

 _And your father,_ Andrew doesn't say yet, but Neil can hear it loud and clear.

 _And Ichirou,_ Neil doesn't dare say.

Later, when Neil's phone buzzes and Andrew pulls away, he leaves something small and solid tucked into his hand and Neil immediately curls his fingers around it.

He blinks down at his hand, then lets out a soft laugh. "Don't tell me you waited until today to give me the key again."

Andrew looks heavenward, as if praying for strength, then back down to somewhere around Neil's collarbone. "I won't tell you. Let's go."

He hangs back. "Hey, Andrew." he says. "Yes or no?"

Andrew tilts his head at him, considering, then nods. "Yes."

Neil smiles, just a slight tug of his lips, and brushes his lips against Andrew's temple on his way past. "Let's go," he agrees.


	2. Renee

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, thank you. I was seriously blown away by the reaction to the first chapter. Thank you all _so, so much._ Seriously, I appreciate every single one of you! I hope you enjoy the second chapter too!
> 
> Warnings for this one: aftermath of character death, mentions of Drake and everything surrounding him, and vague mentions of the events around Thanksgiving in the second book. Plus some discussion surrounding difficulties getting Andrew off his medication. Feel free to let me know if you think I've forgotten something!

Renee spends the next week worrying about Allison.

She will return to them, shaken, but unbroken. She is a Fox, after all. But still she worries.

They've always been a fractured group, she reminds herself time and time again, from her freshman year when it was Dan being antagonized the most and all the way to now with their newest members. But they're resilient, every single one of them.

Although the very newest member's a little different, isn't he? She hasn't had much of a chance to talk to him just yet, but...

Neil doesn't scorn Matt or Dan or Allison's company, or even Renee's, but he doesn't shy away from Andrew and his family either, the way the rest of them do.

Why, she'd almost say... Hm.

It's kind of a sweet thought, isn't it? That Andrew's made a new friend.

She hasn't brought it up to him unprompted just yet. She hasn't brought it up when they warm up together in practice or even during their occasional sparring sessions. But Renee notices the way he keeps gravitating toward their newest Fox and, more importantly, the way Neil keeps gravitating _back._

Not to mention the staring and extended eye contact.

That one's a little hard to miss. So much so that she's sure Matt's noticed it, too, if only by being Neil's roommate.

It's good for Andrew, Renee thinks, to have one more friend on the team. It's good for him to have one more friend at all. He has precious few of those and little inclination to change that. And she knows the others don't think it's friendship and that some of them (Matt, Dan...) are concerned for Neil, but if her and Dan can be such good friends now after high school, surely anything is possible with this team.

Perhaps even figuring out a mystery like Neil Josten and his relationship with Andrew.

Not that Renee would pry. No, of course not. But he's a curious man, isn't he?

With the way there's something in his eyes she recognizes--something not entirely unlike what she recognizes in Andrew's eyes--it's like she can almost figure him out. But she doesn't try to force it. She lets her eyes skip over him at times and gives him his space.

She can wait.

It's hardly the time for it, in any case. She notes and files away the way he reacts to Seth's death and Allison getting hurt, the same way she notes and files away everyone's reactions in the hospital, and focuses on the here and now.

It's the only thing she can do.

Renee greets everyone with a smile, somewhat mollified at seeing most of them all together again for the first time since the hospital. She idly notes the new arrangement of seats in the stadium lounge and finds it doesn't come as a surprise after those weekends spent in Columbia. But then there's practice about to begin--still without Allison, who's still resting at Abby's house--and then there's being very abruptly taken _out_ of her stretches by Coach Wymack yelling for Andrew.

Oh, he sounds angry. This could be bad.

Closing the distance between where she's stretching and where Coach Wymack is calling Andrew is a matter of moments, all while the rest of the team very unsubtly stops to stare as well. Renee arrives just in time to see Andrew staring down at Coach's phone now in his hand, while standing a careful foot away from him.

He takes a step backwards, and another, until his back hits the wall. Only then does he raise the phone to his ear.

"Pig Higgins," he says, just on the edge of a humorless laugh. "And here I thought we wouldn't have to speak again. Ever. Do you not know enough yet?"

To the right of her, Neil stiffens and she glances at him in time to see the way his face goes carefully still, save for his lips pressed together tightly.

In the sudden silence that's fallen over the court, Andrew sucks in a noisy breath, the ever-present smile disappearing for once. "Well, what are you waiting for? Talk to me."

She's not a fan of the fact that his medication gives him no choice but to be smiling all the time, of course, but there's something altogether unpleasant about the look on his face now, so unpleasant that she almost misses the smile.

The look is mirrored, to an extent, on Neil's face, and that's... Curious. Worrying.

It splits her attention between Andrew on the phone and Neil standing there stiffly.

"Because she wasn't supposed to have any others," Andrew hisses into the phone. "Yes, I know what that means. I know who's been in that house." He pauses, with the deepest frown she's ever seen on him. "What? No. I don't want to talk about that. I already told you what you need to know. No. Go away, shut up."

Neil shifts on his feet and that's when Andrew chooses to look at them, or rather, directly at Neil.

Eye contact again, of an altogether different kind.

Do they even notice they're doing that?

Andrew visibly swallows and looks away. "Keep kids out of that house and don't call me again. No," he says in a louder voice, like he's trying to drown out this Higgins' voice. "No, shut up. Shut up, do not call me again."

He hangs up, his jaw clenched tightly. For one long, silent moment, he looks down at Wymack's phone, his expression unusually tight. Then he's holding out the phone to Wymack, his wide grin back in place quickly enough after _that_ awful tone of voice from before to make Renee feel faintly ill.

When Wymack doesn't move to take it, Andrew covers his eyes with his free hand and bursts into mirthless laughter.

Nicky is the first to speak as he returns just in time to hear the laughter. "What's so funny?" he asks. "Andrew, are you okay? What did I miss?"

Andrew shakes his head and lets the phone slip through his fingers. It falls to the floor with a clatter and Andrew says, "Oh, nothing at all. Nothing to worry about at all, Nicky." He peeks at Nicky between his fingers and grins brightly. "But I think I should go now."

Coach finds his voice again. "No, you don't," he says, closing the distance between them again, "Not without telling me what the hell that was about! What did you do now, Andrew?"

"Like I said. Nothing." Andrew lowers his hand and straightens up. He tilts his head at Wymack, his too-wide smile firmly in place now. "And what makes you think any of this is my fault? Really," he says, slightly louder when Wymack opens his mouth to speak. "I've been perfectly behaved this year, that's very unfair, you know. The pig and I were catching up. He wanted to follow up on something I'd sent him a message about, you know. But nothing to worry about."

"Catching up? With a cop? Andrew, you better stop lying to my face already, I'm not an idiot."

Andrew sighs loudly. "He worked with the Oakland PAL program. Yes, the Oakland I left three years ago. Funny, how he hasn't forgotten me, isn't it? Now that we've got that cleared up, I'm leaving." He turns around, neatly sidestepping the arm Wymack puts in his way. "Like I said, I'm leaving."

"We've got practice!" Dan cuts in. "We have a game on Friday."

"Yes. We do. But you'll make do without me, won't you, Captain?"

"Cut the shit," Wymack says, though he doesn't move to get in Andrew's way this time. "What's going on? Why's a cop really calling you all the way from Oakland?"

"Oh, who knows?" Andrew says airily. "But I really can't stay to figure it out with you. So sorry, so sad."

"Knock it off." Kevin lets out a frustrated breath. "You can't just leave in the middle of--"

"Leave it, Kevin," Neil says suddenly, his voice surprisingly firm. "He'll be at practice tomorrow, right, Andrew?"

Renee doesn't hide the curious look she turns on him. He notices, she can tell, just as he notices the sudden, frantic shake of Nicky's head, but it's only Andrew he seems to have eyes for. Then, unexpectedly, for Aaron. "It's nothing to worry about, right?"

Aaron stares blankly at Neil, before he manages to say, in a strangled voice, "It's not. Coach, I've met Higgins, he wouldn't be looking for trouble. Let him go."

"Right! Listen to them," Andrew says cheerily. Over his shoulder, he throws out a, "Josten. We need to talk later," then he's gone before anyone else can try to stop him.

Wymack sighs and scrubs a hand through his hair.

Hm. This is concerning. She stayed silent out of respect of the poorly hidden distress in his bearing, but would it have been better if she'd have said something herself?

Renee glances at the tight look on Neil's face, almost a mirror to the one on Aaron's, and the way it deepens when Nicky starts asking questions, and even more when Aaron admits how he knows this Higgins as well.

Hm, no. No, it's for the best. This situation seems a tad too delicate for careless words.

-

Matt and Dan may not feel the same way, but Renee is glad to see Andrew waiting for them outside Fox Tower. She'd worried, a little, even if Andrew wouldn't appreciate hearing it either.

He's not under her protection--that's Dan and Matt and Allison and, her heart squeezes painfully, Seth--but someone has to worry for him.

Ah, but that's unfair, isn't it? Nicky worries as well, the two of them are just...

She doesn't know. That's a complicated relationship there and not for her to interfere in.

Renee's not particularly surprised when Andrew asks to "borrow" her either. Not that she strictly approves of him defaulting to sparring whenever something upsets him, but ah well. She does understand where he's coming from.

She understands it too well for her to ever judge, even if she ever wanted to.

He gets a few good hits in--always so fast on that medication, that can't be healthy--but it's nothing she can't handle. And it's nothing she can't answer with some hits of her own, with what she's sure will be bruises blooming under his ribs and at his knuckles.

In the end, she's got him on his back on the floor, blinking slowly up at her.

She doesn't ask him if he's all right. He wouldn't give her a straight answer anyway.

There are a lot of things she doesn't ask him.

There's _been_ a lot she's been meaning to ask him this year--about how she came back from North Dakota to South Carolina and found Andrew not changed, exactly, but... perhaps slightly to the left of how he had been the last time she saw him.

He's carrying himself differently. Maybe the others haven't noticed, with how they always expect him to act a certain way, but it was the first thing she did. It's not a negative change either, it's... It's almost as if he's less tense, maybe? Less like he's constantly expecting some kind of attack.

It's not just the level of wariness either, it's the entire way he's carrying himself. He's fast on those drugs, yes, but while they were sparring, he overbalanced more than once, he seemed to try to go farther than he should really be able to. And it's odd, isn't it? He's usually so in control of himself. As in control of himself as he can manage, while he's still tied to those drugs, his fingers sunk in as deep to the frayed edges of his control as he can get them.

Maybe that call just rattled him even more than he's letting on. She doesn't know.

She gives him a moment and when he doesn't move to get up, "Will this be a problem, Andrew?" she asks gently.

He narrows his eyes at her, considering. Then he shrugs and shakes his head against the floor. "It is a personal matter," he says brightly. "It will resolve itself soon enough."

That's probably as good an answer as she can hope for in this mood. So Renee nods and now she offers her hand to help him up.

He doesn't take it, of course, he never does. But maybe one of these days.

"Did it help, then?"

He pushes himself up to his feet and waves a hand dismissively at her, already turning toward the bench at the edge of the room. She'll take that as the closest to a _yes_ she's likely to get to that question today.

Andrew drops down onto one end of the bench and grabs one of the water bottles she brought. She takes a seat on the other end of the bench and rests the back of her head against the wall, breathing slowly. A spar right after practice is a little more exertion than she's strictly used to nowadays.

"Shall we return? You still have to speak with Neil, yes?" She doesn't hide the curiosity in her voice.

"Oh, Renee," he says, laughing softly. "There are _so_ many things to do. _So_ many people to speak to. Neil Josten is one of them. You are one of them. Busy, busy, like... Yes. Bee, I'll need to speak to Bee." He stares at the wall across from them, his leg bouncing, before he asks her a question of his own, that moment already forgotten, "This weekend again?"

"Sparring again so soon?" she asks mildly.

"Evidently, I'm out of practice." Andrew scoffs. "It's pathetic."

Renee hums. Now, how would he have gotten out of practice? There were only a few weeks this summer where they didn't see each other. "Once every week, then? Yes, that should be doable."

He nods and doesn't thank her, not as they leave the gym and not as they drive back to the dorms, but she wasn't expecting a thank you from him.

They part ways outside the elevator, a bruise just beginning to show under his jaw and a limp in her step. She dispassionately tucks away the vague feeling of satisfaction in her chest at the sight of his bruises and thinks. No.

This didn't just help him. This is keeping the part of her that is still Natalie Shields just busy enough that she doesn't try to break free.

This is for herself as well.

-

"We have an in," Dan whispers to her that night from the bunk across from Renee's.

Renee rolls over to face her across the gap, propping herself up on one elbow. "Hm?"

"With the monsters."

She lets her silence speak for itself and Dan huffs out a laugh.

"You know what I mean," she says, from where she's propped up on both her elbows. "The Minyard-Hemmick-Day family."

Renee bites back a smile at the name. "What do you mean we have an in? To what?"

"Neil." Dan sits up now, voice slightly louder. "He's been hanging out with them, he's our in. I mean, I know you're friends with Andrew," she says, with that vague disapproval in her voice that Renee knows she's usually trying to hide. "But it hasn't made him change how he acts toward the rest of the team for whatever reason. Not that I'm blaming you or anything."

Renee considers that, then nods. "It hasn't," she agrees. No, their friendship _can't_ change that. They each have their obligations to different parts of the team and they don't involve making them get along. "And I know you're not."

"Right. But you've seen the way Neil and Andrew are around each other now, right? He's spending time with us. He's one of us, but Andrew keeps looking for him and Neil keeps _going_ to him. And I mean, that's definitely dangerous, but..." Dan cuts herself off. Out of respect for Renee's friendship, she assumes. "Listen, Renee. Andrew's paying a whole lot of attention to Neil. But if Neil can pull him harder than Andrew pulls him, he could be the uniting force this team needs. We could actually be a _team,_ for once. All nine of us."

She doesn't mention Seth, but the brief grimace that follows the words is enough.

Renee breathes through that thought, through the painful pang in her chest.

Breathe.

Still. She does know what Dan means. Silently, she debates on how to answer that, what to say about her own observations, then shakes her head at herself and lets out a soft laugh. She's being silly. It's just Dan, who she trusts implicitly. She won't ask her to say more than she should.

"Yes, Andrew has taken somewhat of an interest in him." And understatement, perhaps. "But it looks like Neil has, too."

"Neil has something Andrew wants," Dan mutters, drumming her fingers against her thigh. "I don't know what and Matt said he didn't want to speculate..."

Renee will refrain from commenting on that part, she thinks.

"...But it's the key, I think. We can use that."

"To bring the team together?"

"Yeah. Matt agrees and when we talked to Neil before you got here, he did, too. He says he's going to try."

And Andrew _was_ going to speak to him today, wasn't he? That's convenient timing. Unless that's the reason Neil agreed to try in the first place, if he already knew he was about to talk to Andrew...

She really shouldn't assume so much when Andrew has so very carefully not spoken about Neil to her so far.

Dan doesn't say anything when Renee falls silent, thinking it over. She knows her well enough by now.

It's the ideal scenario here though. If Neil can pull her group and Andrew's group together, if he can bridge the gap between them, instead of letting it expand in the wake of Seth's death... Yes. She can see it happening.

Strangest of all, she can see _Andrew_ letting it happen. Just last year, she'd have thought he wouldn't want something like this, no matter how much time he was given. But Dan is right, though perhaps not quite how she thinks she is. There _is_ something about Neil that's irrevocably caught Andrew's attention and Andrew doesn't seem ready to let go of whatever that something is.

At length, Renee nods and pushes herself up to a sitting position as well, so she can reach out to the lamp on the desk and flick it on. "All right," she says, smiling. "And what are you hoping for the rest of us to do to help?"

A slow grin spreads across Dan's face. Ah, yes. There she is. There's her captain. "You've got time?"

-

Renee keeps the memory of that conversation with Dan close to her heart the day of their next game. Being Allison's first game back, she knows she'll need it.

She's not sure what to expect. Allison barely reacted to Seth's death or to the memory of being knocked unconscious at the time, turning still and silent in the hospital and Abby's house in a way Renee never imagined she was capable of.

But it wasn't an accident. No one else who was there saw anything and Allison didn't have a description to give anyone, but Renee knows none of them have forgotten for a second that Allison was knocked unconscious at the entrance to the men's bathrooms where she was waiting for Seth, then found there just before Seth was found dead on the ground.

The question is how Allison will react _now._

As one, Renee and Dan make their way to Allison's chair when they enter the lounge, with barely a glance for the others in the room. There will be time for that later. Besides, regardless of what Andrew may or may not claim, he's got his watchful eye on all of them.

She and Dan take up the arms of Allison's chair. Dan winds her arm around Allison's shoulders in a fierce, protective embrace, speaking to her quietly while Renee keeps silent watch from her perch.

It's... distressing. Yes. Renee can admit that much to herself. It's _distressing_ to see Allison so quiet. She looks more like herself now, as immaculate as always, but she's holding herself so differently from usual, so unnaturally quiet. And she wishes, suddenly, she could do more than silently offer support, more than simply be there to help her hold herself up when she finally breaks her silence.

But she doesn't have long to dwell on that.

Renee pulls her attention away when Wymack comes in, then Allison's heading to the bus before the rest of them. She pauses on her way out, barely long enough to be noticeable, to give Neil a look only slightly less flat than the ones she's been giving Dan and Renee. Then she's out of the room and out of the stadium.

Neil?

Renee turns back to the others just in time to hear Andrew bat aside Nicky's concerns about Allison's ability to play with an unexpected, "You have so little faith in her, Nicky. Don't worry. She'll play."

She doesn't hold back a smile, not even at the too-wide smile Andrew aims at the rest of the team, or even the raised eyebrow he turns at Neil. Which is very interesting.

The thought's one she'll have to examine later though, busy as she is helping hash out their line-up for the season without Seth with the rest of the team, then gathering Allison's gear. She's not exactly comforted by Andrew's glib attitude toward playing the whole game without his medication, but they have little choice for the moment. He only gives her an even wider grin when she tries to catch his eye this time and that is, in its own way, answer enough to anything she could ask.

By the time they make it to the bus, it's almost beginning to feel like they've got a precarious handle on this though. It won't be easy, but they can do it.

Then Neil steps onto the bus and Allison sits up straighter beside Renee.

Ah. She forgot, while she was discussing with the others.

He approaches their seat on his way to the back and, "Neil," Allison says suddenly, her voice hoarse. She clears her throat. "Stop."

Neil freezes in place, his hand on the back of Dan and Matt's seat.

Renee shakes her head at Matt when he turns around to aim a concerned look at them and keeps the smile on her face reassuring.

No, they can deal with whatever this is.

"Don't sit with your pet monster yet," Allison says, her expression sharpening at the way Neil's expression tightens at the name. "Sit in the middle. I'm talking to you when we get on the road."

All at once, the scattered pieces come together and Renee knows. She knows why Allison wants to speak to Neil. They've all been so careful not to think about it too hard, to consider other possibilities instead, but after the fiasco during Kathy Ferdinand's show, how could Allison not think about it?

But to talk about it now?

Neil nods and Renee keeps her eyes on him as he walks past them and toward one of the empty seats in the middle, the interaction short and quiet enough that neither Abby nor Wymack noticed. Beside her, Allison watches him just as intently, her hands clenched into fists in her lap.

Allison's eyes track the look Neil and Andrew exchange when he stops at the middle of the bus. And they watch the way Neil shakes his head slightly, with what Renee thinks might just be the beginnings of a smile at the corner of his mouth, and the eye contact that lasts just a second too long. Then Neil's sitting, too short for either of them to still keep an eye on without turning fully in their seat.

Dan, having watched the whole exchange with Matt, asks, "Everything all right, Allison?"

"Yes," Allison says crisply. "You're coming with me?"

Dan grins. "Couldn't stop me if you tried."

"Good."

"Dan," Matt says quietly. "But..."

"Don't worry about it. Neil's going to be fine, right, Allison? You just want to talk to him about something," Dan says pointedly, as much a warning as reassurance.

Allison only sniffs and says nothing else while Wymack pulls the bus out of the parking lot and slowly off campus. Once Palmetto's buildings are fading out of view behind them, Allison eases herself to her feet, nodding at Dan when she twists in her seat again to face her.

Dan pats Matt's arm reassuringly and moves to follow Allison.

Allison doesn't ask if Renee is coming with her, just waits while she stands and doesn't move until she's out in the aisle beside her.

Wymack doesn't seem to notice them moving and Abby lets them go with nothing but a cautious look, but they catch the attention of the rest of Andrew's group on the way there. Kevin looks warily between the three of them and Neil and an uncertain-looking Nicky opens his mouth to speak, but Aaron shushes him, then glares at the three of them.

Andrew meets her eyes briefly, one eyebrow quirked, before he turns his attention to Allison. He doesn't speak, but his eyes on her are so intense that the message is clear.

He wants her to know he's watching her. And Allison doesn't look at him, doesn't acknowledge him in any way as she leads the way to Neil's seat, but Renee has no doubt she's noticed and is making a point of showing she's not intimidated.

Allison slips into the seat in front of Neil's, propped up on her knees on it to look at him, Dan beside her. Renee takes the edge of Neil's seat, making sure to leave enough room between them to avoid him feeling boxed in.

She smiles at him and receives a very, very small one in return. "Sorry to bother you, Neil," she says softly, and means it.

He shakes his head and, while looking straight at Allison, says, "It's fine. You wanted to talk to me?"

Allison cuts straight to the chase. "Yeah. You told me not to leave Seth alone that night."

Neil nods, his neutral expression giving way to a frown. "I did. I'm sorry that means you got hurt."

Allison scoffs. "Don't be stupid. I've had almost as bad on the court." She leans forward, narrowing her eyes at Neil. "That's not my point, anyway, don't try to distract me. You knew something was going to happen."

"Coach didn't want us leaving campus, remember?" Neil says, matter-of-fact. "Everyone thought something might happen around then."

"You still left campus that night," Allison points out, like she's winding up for something.

He nods again. "And all five of us stuck together."

Allison doesn't answer right away, her lips pressed together in displeasure. Somehow, it's still the most alive Renee's seen her look since that night. "Look, Josten, cut the shit," she says. "I'm not stupid and I know there's a goddamn reason you warned _me_ that night. Just tell me what's got you looking at me like a kicked puppy." She sneers. "Tell me what we're both thinking right now."

Neil closes his eyes and sighs. Finally, finally, he seems to relent. "You saw what I said to Riko, Allison," he says stiffly. "You all did. I knew Riko wasn't going to be happy. And when he's not happy..."

Dan holds her tongue, but her breath sounds like it's been punched out of her. Allison though, Allison barely seems to react to Neil's implied words. She only nods like he's confirmed something she already suspected.

"So Riko got pissed at you and sent someone to kill Seth, huh? Make it look like he finally overdosed? Except," she says, the flat tone of her voice turning heated. "I was there. Because you figured someone would try something. So this someone had to deal with me first." She grits her teeth. "Even if no one in that damn place saw a thing."

Neil's eyes snap open and the look he turns on Allison is... It's guilt and pain and concern all rolled in one. "Allison. I'm--"

"Josten, if you fucking dare tell me you're sorry right now, I'm going to change my mind about not blaming you," Allison hisses. "I'll kick your puny little ass, I swear."

Neil blinks up at her in surprise, his eyes as wide as Renee's ever seen them. "What?" he asks faintly. "You don't... You're not blaming me? Already?"

"No, you asshole." Her lip curls. "I'm fucking pissed at you, but I'm not fucking blaming you. But I could still change my mind, if you keep this up." She sucks in a breath, shaking her head roughly. "Fuck, that's not what I'm here for right now. I needed to know it wasn't just me who was thinking it."

"You know it's not."

Allison lets out a nasty laugh. "Maybe," she allows. "Okay, so maybe I just wanted to make sure I'm not the only one ready to bring that fucker down now instead."

Silence as Neil stares at Allison blankly, then quick as a flash, he's grinning at her, a vicious little thing that's gone again just as quickly. "You're definitely not."

Slowly, ever so slowly, even in the face of Neil's once again neutral expression, a grin spreads across Allison's face.

Renee's breath catches in her throat. And, across from her, she sees the way Dan's lips twitch.

There's Allison, back with them.

"Then, I'm glad we agree, Neil," she says, quiet and fierce. She tosses her head back and, in a louder voice, "Anyway. Seth wanted us to win and he wanted people to start taking us seriously." She pounds her fist against her open palm. "So let's show these assholes today no one messes with us, huh? Gotta get ready for when we go against the Ravens."

Neil just looks at her, his eyes searching, then, "It's good to have you back, Allison."

"Yeah. Whatever, like I was ever gone." Allison looks past Neil, to the rest of the bus behind them. "Let's go before Minyard decides to gut us for looking at Neil too long. Possessive bastard."

Neil isn't quick enough to hide the blank surprise on his face from them, but it's only a moment before it turns into another assessing look aimed at Allison. "He won't stab you," he says.

"If you ask him not to," Allison says snidely.

Ah, so she's noticed, too.

Allison stands then and waits for Dan to reach out and squeeze Neil's shoulder before she files out of the seat behind her and back to her own. Renee lingers just long enough to catch Neil's eye and offer another small smile before she's standing as well.

She doesn't look away from Neil as she does though and once he's pushed himself up to his feet, he says to her, somewhat awkwardly, "She'll be all right."

"Yes, I think she will be. Are _you_ all right?"

The corner of his mouth tugs up into what isn't quite a smile. "I'm fine, Renee," he says.

Renee hums and keeps her thoughts on that to herself. "Let's talk later. Andrew's still looking over here like he can move us with his mind."

Neil rolls his eyes, but his expression is surprisingly fond. "I'm sure he is. Drama queen."

That's the end of it for now, as their attention shifts to their game.

And the game against the Terrapins is rough. Between the changes in their line-up, Andrew being at the goal for the whole game, and Allison coming back onto the court so soon, it's rough. It's difficult.

But they give it their all, every single one of them.

And Allison? Allison plays like a woman possessed that night. Rough passes, hard checks, nothing stops her the whole time she's on the court. Her energy infects the rest of them and Renee can barely catch her breath by the end of it, her legs feeling like she's just run a marathon.

But as she rips off her helmet, breathing hard, she looks up and sees they've won.

They've _won._

-

Neil dyes his hair. His roots weren't showing yet around the time she met him. but the reddish color beginning to show amidst all the brown, that he doesn't seem in any hurry to do anything about, is becoming more and more obvious by now.

She thought, at first, that he was still too busy with all the changes that joining the Foxes and starting university entailed to touch up his roots or dye his hair to a different color, perhaps. She wasn't, and isn't, sure what he usually does.

But as the weeks go by and he still does nothing...

Well, Renee doesn't judge. She tries very hard not to. Honestly.

But it's a little hard not to wince at the state of his hair sometimes, whenever she stops to think about it. She's seen a few of the others eye it dubiously as well. And with the banquet coming up...

Kevin's already made a few comments about him needing to take care of that and she's not looking forward to when he really warms to the topic.

Maybe she should say something, before Kevin decides for all of them to force Neil to deal with his hair.

One Wednesday evening, after Neil and Matt have turned up at her, Dan, and Allison's dorm with takeout for dinner, Renee asks. Or rather, she waits until Dan and Matt are distracted speaking quietly with each other on the couch and until Allison is distracted with something on her phone, and leans in closer to where Neil is in one of the armchairs.

"Neil," she says softly and waits till he turns his head from the TV to look at her where she sits on the floor across from Allison. "I've been thinking of retouching my hair this Friday. Would you like to join me?"

He frowns in apparent confusion. "Do you..." He hesitates. "Do you need help dying your hair, Renee?"

She can't help it, she laughs. "Oh no. No, Neil, I... I'm sorry, excuse me. No," she says, managing to keep a straight face now. "I can do it myself, don't worry. No, I was wondering if you'd like to join me for your hair. It looks like it's been a while since you dyed it." She gestures at his head. "You could come with me to buy the dye, too, if you're out."

He reaches up to touch the ends of his overgrown hair, frowning less deeply now. "I was going to let it go back to my natural color, since I don't think there's any point in..." He bites his lip. "I guess I just kind of stopped thinking about it after I decided. I mean, I haven't done that at all since I started dying it." 

Renee nods. "I'm sure it'd look very nice that way."

He shrugs and lets out a small noncommittal sound.

She pushes herself up on her knees, resting her elbows on the arm of his chair just far enough away that he doesn't pull back and retreat. "In that case, if you're all right with it, I have an idea." At his slow nod, she continues. "The banquet's coming up, remember? And I'm sure we'll all have some of the usual suspect," she stage whispers. "Insisting we pretty up for it. So if we can find dye that matches your natural color, would you let me dye it for you? But only if you want, of course."

Renee pulls back slightly, her hands in her lap now, to give him more space to think that over. Enough time passes that she thinks he might refuse but, eventually, Neil nods slowly. "Sure. I. Trust you, Renee."

Ah.

She gives him a small, sincere smile, keeping any other possible expression of her face. "Thank you. Let's meet after afternoon practice tomorrow?"

"Yeah. Thanks, Renee."

Kevin does not take matters into his own hands and force Neil to do something about it before the next day ends.

Instead, Allison ends up joining them in their dorm's bathroom while Dan's with Matt, the open door letting in the sounds of an exy game Neil had flipped to on the TV. It does make it easier for Renee, when Allison can work on her hair while she works on Neil's, though Allison's ulterior motive comes to light soon enough with her biting comments on how desperately Neil needs a haircut. But Neil takes it in good enough humor, not agreeing, but not closing the door to the possibility entirely.

"I just mean," Allison is saying, standing with her hip propped up against the sink. "Look at that! We can barely even see your eyes off the court half the time. You're going to lose your bandanna one of these days and bash your fucking head against the court walls. You don't even have to go to a barber, I can just give you a trim my fucking self if you're that against a decent haircut."

Neil huffs out what someone might generously call a laugh. "And I just mean my hair looks fine this way! It can wait till _after_ the banquet."

"Jesus Christ, Neil." Switching tactics, she says "Your pet monster hasn't even said anything? He lets you run around like this?"

Neil groans. "He's not a monster or my pet. He's not my keeper either, Allison."

"Yeah, yeah. You're not going to be so damn casual about it when the son of fucking Exy's dragging you to the barber himself the day before the banquet!"

Another puff of maybe laughter from Neil. "Do you really think he'd do that?"

"Yes." Allison shudders theatrically, then they're off bickering again.

That's one way to ease the tension between the two of them, Renee supposes, so she can't find it in herself to break it up.

* * *

Neil leaves a snoring Kevin on the couch and quietly makes his way up the stairs to Andrew's room in the house in Columbia. The light is off in Aaron's room, and even then, he doubts Andrew will give a shit if Aaron hears Neil up here, but he's still grateful Andrew's left his door ajar and he can slip inside easily.

He finds Andrew cross-legged on the center of the bed, a book open in his lap and his old reading glasses on. He looks up when Neil quietly shuts the door behind him, expression unchanged. Neil offers him a small smile and perches at the edge of the bed, head turned just enough to face Andrew.

Neither says anything at first, busy as they are with what Nicky (the Nicky from the future that's disappeared now, Neil realizes with a sick lurch of his stomach that he pushes away quickly) might have called their _weird flirty eye contact._ Whatever that's supposed to mean.

Andrew closes his book, leaning around Neil to set it on the edge of his desk, and still Neil doesn't look away.

They don't get that much time alone anymore.

"Staring," Andrew says once he's settled back again, predictable man that he can be sometimes.

Neil shrugs, unrepentant, and watches as Andrew reaches out a hand, letting it hover by Neil's head, and tilts his head in question.

At Neil's nod, Andrew reaches up to run his hand through Neil's newly auburn hair, then lets out an approving hum. "About time."

"I didn't hear you complaining before."

Andrew shrugs. "You could walk around looking stupid all you wanted. I wasn't going to say anything."

Of course he wasn't. Neil rolls his eyes, though the feeling in his chest is nothing short of fond. He tilts his chin down and, "Yes or no?" he asks.

Andrew huffs. "Yes," he says and he's the one to close the distance between them and meet him in a short, firm kiss.

They don't usually ask for small things like this anymore. It's a door left open for each other now, rather than inviting each other in every time, trusting they can close it when they need to. But now... Uncertain as they both are and having been sent back all these years into their past, with Andrew's own health out of his control again...

He just _needs_ to ask. He needs to be asked. For now, at least.

He wants this to always be something they can come to with their eyes wide open.

Andrew's hand lingers on his cheek when he pulls away and Neil leans into it, letting his eyes slide shut. "I figured I'd wait till after the banquet to do anything that might make me stand out," he says, voice soft. "But then..."

"But then you remembered that Riko already knows who you are anyway," Andrew finishes for him, voice even flatter than usual.

"Right," he breathes. "He's too obsessed to do too much off the court for now. And my father's still in prison for a few more months, anyway."

And it should be easier to say that now. He shouldn't have to speak so deliberately to keep his voice from wavering. They may be _back_ now, but as far the rest of him's concerned, his father's been dead for years. It's just...

It's just that he didn't miss having his father's presence looming over him like this. Or having to come up with plan after plan for what to do once he catches up to Neil.

The thought of simply going to the FBI _now_ with what he knows has crossed his mind more than once, but without Nathan's corpse somewhere for them to find, he's not so sure they'd be willing to let him go this time.

Just like he's not so sure Stuart would be there to save him this early if things went south again.

After all, if they change too much, is there a chance Neil wouldn't survive his eventual confrontation with his father at all?

He can't let that happen. He can't leave Andrew alone here with memories of a future only he would remember.

Neil breathes in deeply and decides it doesn't matter. They've got over half a year left before it'll be too late. For now, he's more concerned with how to deal with getting Andrew off that medication. With Higgins.

And with Drake.

He can't put it off until Nicky comes to him begging him to convince Andrew to go to Thanksgiving dinner. And going off how Higgins is already trying to contact him, just a little message about looking more deeply into the Spear family and how just looking into Richard Spear isn't going to be enough.

Neil swallows and hopes Andrew doesn't notice how tightly he's holding himself now, anything to keep himself from unraveling at the thought of everything that could go wrong if _he_ got close. Fuck, if Neil had his way, he'd ask Stuart to deal with Drake. Right now. Before he could even _think_ of getting on a plane to South Carolina. But...

Andrew pulls his hand away.

Neil opens his eyes to find Andrew staring at him, the tiny divot between his eyebrows--slight enough that someone else might miss it--the only sign of his concern.

"You are thinking so hard you're giving me a headache," he says slowly, just a touch of well-hidden concern, when Neil doesn't break the silence.

"You don't have a headache."

Andrew glares. "I don't have a headache," he agrees. "But you are still thinking too hard."

Neil shrugs. He's not going to lie about it, but he doesn't really have the words for the whole mass of... _everything_ right now anyway. Because he's twenty-six, technically, but in some ways he still feels like the same confused eighteen-year-old he's supposed to be again.

"Did Betsy have any news this week?" he asks instead, now that they have time. "Is she still on board?"

Andrew gives him a hard, searching look, but doesn't call him out on changing the subject. "She's contacted Waterhouse. Working on Blackwell," he says, back to the usual flat tone. "She thinks a lower dose would be beneficial for now."

Neil sighs in relief. "Okay. Yeah. That's good," he whispers. "Blackwell won't complain?"

"She only needs one of them for a lower dose. So she's changing the prescription." He clenches and unclenches his jaw. "Might make me less sick."

"Think so?" Neil hopes so. So much.

Andrew's lips quirk into just the barest ghost of a mocking smile. "Possibly. Or it might make me more sick. You know these drugs are shit, Josten."

Unfortunately, he does. He scrubs a hand across his jaw. "Then it's a step closer to getting off them for good," he says, voice quiet, because there's no point in any false platitudes right now.

Andrew shrugs. "I really fucking hate those pills," he says, just as quietly, then shakes his head when Neil goes to speak. "Yes or no?" he asks instead. "To kissing you again."

In response, Neil holds out his hands in front of Andrew's face and asks his own question. At Andrew's _yes,_ Neil cups his face and leans down to meet him, pressing their foreheads together, letting Andrew wrap his hands around his wrists.

Neil whispers his own answer against his lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter....... Nicky!


	3. Nicky

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic is actually finished. I don't want to jinx myself by going and committing to an actual update schedule, but I'm aiming for Mondays (ish) and Fridays (ish). We'll see! This also marks the point where I officially lost my shit and somehow every chapter got longer and longer and longer aaaand you get the idea.
> 
> Anyway, thank you so much again for the response! You're all amazing! <3
> 
> Warnings for this one: More talk of Drake, couple mentions of Proust. Slightly less vague references to Thanksgiving and also the Hemmicks. Again, feel free to let me know if you think I should add a warning!

How, exactly, is Nicky supposed to help Neil with this in time for the fall banquet?

When Neil hasn't even tried anything on yet?

He'd complain about the others dumping this on him, if not for how Neil lights up every time someone does something nice for him.

Which is just unfair. All the Foxes have got their own fucked up pasts, but Jesus, Neil's just breaking Nicky's heart here.

He's kind of a weird guy. Kinda reserved, kinda not. Kinda like he forgets to be reserved sometimes. He fits right in.

And, the thing is... Neil gets along with Andrew, _really_ gets along with him and. It's hard, sometimes, to understand, but he's grateful to both him and Renee for that. He does want his cousin to be happy and have friends. If that's even possible.

So how could Nicky not be nice to Neil, right?

Nicky holds back a groan as another round of bickering between Neil and Kevin starts up and scrubs both hands down his face. This would be so much easier if Kevin would reel it in, too. At least Neil looked like he was listening to him before that whole thing started. Now they're like a couple of little kids poking each other with sticks on the playground.

Kind of an adorable mental image, actually.

Ugh. Okay. Focus. Focus, he can do this. He can pick out one outfit today for the banquet. Somewhere behind him, he thinks he hears Andrew join in whatever it is Neil and Kevin are talking about now, but that's not important. Andrew actually behaves around Neil, plus he's toned down the creepy smiles a little lately, somehow. It'll be fine. He just... needs to find...

Aaron's voice breaks his concentration again. Nicky holds back another groan and looks up just in time to see him handing Neil a piece of paper, looking like he'd rather be doing anything but that.

Nicky leans over to look and immediately has to let his displeasure known when he recognizes some of the names next to the phone numbers. Really!

"What?" Aaron asks brusquely. "Dan asked me to."

"Oh, he's not taking any of the cheerleaders," Andrew, his attention now mostly on pulling clothes out of the rack in front of him, then back in, cuts in before Nicky can say what he's thinking.

As that is more or less what he was going to say though, Nicky doesn't complain.

"Right, I'm not," Neil says.

"Well, duh," Nicky says. "He should ask--"

Andrew turns to another clothing rack, seemingly tired of that first one. "He is not taking anyone from any of the other teams either, Nicky," he says brightly.

Nicky just barely keeps himself from sighing, then gives in and does it anyway, and turns a questioning look on Neil.

Neil shrugs. "I'm not."

"Jesus, Neil, you can't just go stag," Nicky says, dismayed. "It doesn't even have to be someone from Fox Tower, I know some people! Hell, I'm taking someone from one of my classes!"

At that, Aaron mutters something about the food court and wanders off.

Well, it's more like Aaron grouses something about going to the food court to get away from all of them before loudly stomping off in that direction, but Nicky is a generous cousin and loving former guardian, all right?

And because he is a generous cousin and loving former guardian, Nicky focuses his attention on Neil instead of on telling Aaron to be nicer. He wouldn't listen anyway. "Neil, seriously. Even Andrew's got a date."

"Kevin can't get a date," Neil says at the same time that Andrew cuts in with a cheerful, "No, I don't."

Kevin lets out an offended squawk, and he might try to defend himself, he doesn't know, that's the least of Nicky's concerns right now. "You don't have a date? How? What about Renee!"

When did this happen? Because. Okay. Nicky doesn't exactly want that whole thing between Andrew and Renee to pan out, if it is what everyone thinks it is, but. Seriously. He's still got money riding on this, no thanks to Dan and Allison's powers of persuasion.

"What about Renee?" Andrew asks. "She'll still be at the banquet."

"Isn't she always your date to these things?" Kevin asks, brows furrowed the same way it gets when he's about to start yelling at them for their sloppy passes on the court.

"Thank you, Kevin!"

Andrew shrugs, then pulls a dark blue button down shirt from the rack that he immediately pushes at Neil's chest without even looking at him. "Weren't you listening, Nicky? I don't have a date," he says, turning toward the rack behind him.

"Huh, not bad, Andrew. That shirt suits him." Nicky leans over the rack toward Neil as he speaks, taking advantage of the way Neil's eyeing that shirt to get a good look at it as well. Then it hits him and he swings his head around to face Andrew, his eyes wide. "What? But why? Are you asking someone else? Is that it? Is it someone I know?"

He tsks. "Nicky, Nicky. I'm not asking anyone else." Before Nicky can say anything else, Andrew's shoving a pair of pants at Neil, then turning right back around with a dismissive wave of his shoulder. "Try those on."

"Hey! I was the one who was picking out clothes for Neil!"

"Too slow. So sad."

Kevin rolls his eyes. "You still can, Nicky." At Nicky's questioning look, the little shit just rolls his eyes again. "The rest of his wardrobe's still a disaster. Workout clothes are all well and good, but as professional player, he'll have an image to maintain as well. And if he hopes to be taken seriously, he needs to already begin to get something more than--"

"Okay!" Nicky interrupts, clapping his hands together once. Loudly. That was Kevin's idea of helpful, he realizes, and he is very grateful, but he's not taking Neil's lectures for him. "We get the picture, Kev! Why don't you go pick yourself something out, too, while Neil tries that on! Andrew can help you."

He needs some time alone to try to figure out the mystery of Andrew's date now. Maybe Renee would tell him? Nicky isn't exactly close to her, but she's nice enough. She still talks to him sometimes. So if he can just...

"Andrew's going with Neil."

"Huh?"

Kevin jerks his thumb over his shoulder and when Nicky looks... Ohhhh, that's what he meant.

Andrew really has no right to move that fast, he decides, as he watches him follow a step behind Neil toward the dressing rooms.

Fine. All right.

Slowly, he turns to look at Kevin and, just as slowly, reluctantly, asks, "Hey, Kevin... Do you want help picking out your clothes for the banquet?"

Kevin narrows his eyes at him.

This could be a very bad idea.

He could be stuck with him for the rest of the afternoon, having to listen to him berate Nicky for this and that and his performance on the court last practice and what he _should_ do next practice and _it's a good thing you're not interested in making Court, with that performance_ and Jesus knows what else. All while Aaron's in the food court pretending none of them exist and Neil and Andrew are probably in front of the dressing rooms doing their weird extended eye contact and whispers they think Nicky can't hear--even if he can't ever make out what the hell they're saying without getting closer and giving away that he can hear them--thing, leaving Nicky to Kevin's ruthless jabs and--

"...No."

"Oh, thank god," Nicky says, letting out a relieved sigh. "See ya later, Kev! I've got shit to do."

"The feeling is mutual!"

"Love ya, too, Kev!"

-

Aaron asks Katelyn to be his date to the banquet. And Andrew doesn't lose his shit over it.

Not that... Nicky's expecting a violent reaction, exactly. Sort of. It's more that he's kind of hoping his meds put him in a good enough mood to not say anything more than a couple rude things to her all night.

But instead, they file onto the bus and he just... Vaguely acknowledges her existence?

He doesn't say anything to her, but he doesn't ignore her either.

If turning an oddly thoughtful for Andrew look on her, then a mocking one on Aaron before turning away counts as not ignoring her, anyway.

Nicky takes a moment to be cautiously relieved. He wasn't really looking forward to four hours of more than the usual Fox animosity, only to then have to mingle with all the other teams who've been mocking them.

Ugh.

Jim from Improv class is being a real good sport about it all though and what more can he really ask for?

Besides his cousins not getting into any kind of fight, but some things really might be too much to ask for.

From where he sits with Jim, Nicky can twist around and see when Andrew takes his usual seat in the back and ignores everyone as usual. Until the bus is on the road and Neil leaves his own seat and perches at the edge of the bench to talk to him about something.

More whispers, huh?

Jim doesn't ask about any of it because, smart guy that he is, he already knows a little about the constant Fox drama and how quickly it can escalate.

What a good guy, that Jim.

He misses Erik terribly, like a physical ache, but at least he can have some harmless fun at the banquet tonight. Maybe he'll even ask him to the winter banquet too! If the rest of the Foxes don't scare him off. Maybe, maybe not.

He spends the four hours on the bus talking to Jim, with Renee stopping by every once in a while to chat. Which reminds him, that's something Nicky's still got to get to the bottom of one way or another.

The mystery of why she isn't Andrew's date this time, that is. Because no matter how much he asked, no one would tell him anything! 

Not that Andrew would tell anyone and... Eh, by now Nicky knows better than to hound Andrew too much with the same question. But the rest of the Foxes, minus Neil, were just as much at a loss as Nicky was and that's just unfair. Really, what changed? He's going to lose his fucking shit wondering about it, he swears.

As Blackwell University comes into view though, it becomes harder and harder to not hear Kevin losing _his_ shit a couple seats behind Nicky.

"Hey," Jim says, his voice a cautious undertone. "That guy... Kevin, is he..."

Nicky gives him a smile that feels just a smidgen too tight. "He's nervous," he says, at the same time that he hears Andrew's voice say something to Kevin. "You know, Ravens and..." Nicky makes a vague gesture. He's not sure what he's trying to convey with it, honestly. "...Everything."

Jim nods like he understands and maybe he does, a little. "Must be rough seeing his old team again."

Nicky shrugs.

Behind them, Andrew's voice grows slightly louder and when Nicky turns to look, he finds him actually standing up behind Kevin's seat in the middle of his weird version of reassurance.

Andrew laughs at whatever it is Kevin's said to him in return, that one laugh that makes Nicky wince every time, and turns his attention to the view outside the window.

Which, Nicky sees from a quick glance out of the corner of his eye, shows that they're now pulling into Blackwell's stadium's parking lot.

Oh, shit.

Kevin looks a few seconds away from losing his lunch where he's aiming a pleading look at Neil, turned around now in his seat in front of Kevin's and saying something Nicky can't quite catch either.

Nicky faces forward again. Here goes, then, he thinks, and maybe his internal voice is a little more sardonic than he meant it to be.

Moment of truth.

Either they make it or they face and ugly death at the hands of angry Ravens' fans.

No big deal, right?

Absolutely no big deal as Nicky actually manages to hold his tongue at the looks and whispers they get as they enter.

 _Absolutely_ a big deal when Nicky practically swallows his fucking tongue when he sees where the ERC has seated them.

"Motherfucker," Dan says somewhere in front of the group and he has to agree. He really, really has to agree. Wholeheartedly.

"Come on, Kevin," Andrew's saying off to the side, just about herding him toward their table. "Let's not keep them waiting."

Quietly, Neil follows them and lead by Dan, the rest of them make it onto the table. With the Ravens.

Ugggghhhhh.

"Yeah, uh, sorry about this," Nicky whispers to Jim while Dan greets Riko, looking for all the world unconcerned.

Jim shakes his head, looking more confused than anything as he watches Jean Moreau switch seats to sit in front of Neil.

And Jim understands enough, of course. He understands about rivalries and Kevin leaving Edgar Allan and the way the other Class I exy teams look down on them, but he can't, he really can't, understand the danger the Moriyamas are to all of them.

He wouldn't really understand why any of them would focus on anyone but Kevin beyond the usual taunting.

Not that Nicky gets what Moreau wants with Neil either, but it's probably got to do with...

On second thought, he doesn't want to think about what the fucking Moriyamas and their cronies could want with Neil Josten. Nope, nope, too terrifying to think about.

So Nicky tries, he really does, to just make small talk with Jim and ignore the weird synchronized Ravens in front of them, but he can't help but pay more attention to the words being exchanged between the teams, tensing every time he hears one of his cousins, or even Kevin. Or even Neil where he's sitting by Nicky.

It's _your pet is and always will be dead weight_ that has Nicky's hackles rising and he stops even pretending to only be focusing on Jim, his head whipping around so fast he thinks he might hurt himself.

It's Andrew himself that interrupts that statement, smiling brightly at Kevin. "A pet, Kevin? When did that happen? How could you never tell us?" He rolls his eyes, in that way he gets when something's already boring him, and turns that smile on Moreau? "Oh, does he mean me?"

Even before Moreau opens his mouth to speak again Nicky can tell he's not going to like it, just from the ugly look on his face.

He's not wrong.

"Don't interrupt me, Doe," Moreau says and Nicky only doesn't say anything to that because he _can't_ form words, an incoherent sound escaping him instead, loud enough that Jim startles beside him.

_Don't interrupt me, Doe._

Oh, Jean Moreau is officially on Nicky's shit list now. That's Nicky's cousin he's talking about, thank you very fucking much.

He doesn't hear what Andrew says in return and doesn't pay attention to Dan trying to break it up either.

_Doe!_

But Riko isn't someone used to being told no. Which would be less of a problem, if it weren't Neil, specifically, he starts targeting.

And Nicky knows, from years of experience with Andrew, what it looks like when someone's about to say something Nicky will regret.

Thinking fast, though his blood's still fucking boiling, he reaches out to dig his fingers into Neil's thigh under the table, hoping his message of _please stay quiet, please, please, please,_ will get through. He's close enough now to feel the deep, slow breath Neil takes in. Then the next one. Then Neil rests his hand lightly on top of Nicky's, giving him what, if he were any other person, would probably be a reassuring pat.

"Just what are you trying to do here, Riko?" Neil says, voice deathly quiet after another one of Riko's jabs. Nicky's hand tightens on his thigh. "No, don't answer that. I know what you're doing. Bringing my mother up is supposed to be you trying to deflect from your own daddy issues, right? And I get it. I do, it's very sad. You try so hard for a father who'll never even want to look at you. You, the second son, will literally never be good enough for him. So, what? You're taking it out on the rest of us? Because you have to know that's not going to make any of us want to put up with you."

"Neil," Dan hisses, just when he looks like he's gearing up to keep going.

Neil blinks, closes his mouth, opens it again. "I didn't say everything I could have, Dan," he says, like he's being reasonable. "I was being nice!"

Andrew snorts. "Too nice," he says, holding Neil's gaze again, because, okay, he's just going to keep doing that. "Losing your edge, Josten?"

"Never," Neil says, the sound just about swallowed up by Dan sending Matt off to go find Wymack.

And Nicky could just kiss Wymack when he shows up in the middle of what sounds like Neil shutting down a conversation in fucking French, of all things.

But he doesn't show up fucking fast enough to stop Moreau from whispering something to Kevin and Neil as they stand, something that has Kevin gasping in shock, turning wide eyes toward Neil. Neil shakes his head sharply and pushes him toward their new table, the rest of them following hastily.

The way Kevin stares at Neil at their new table tells Nicky whatever Moreau told him hasn't been forgotten though.

"What a buncha assholes," Jim's muttering beside him, tugging on one of his own sleeves, agitated.

Nicky nods jerkily, struggling to get his own breathing under control.

It's, as Neil would say, _fine._ Andrew barely even reacted to Moreau's jab, because he apparently still doesn't care about anything.

No big deal, except for the raging fire in his chest he desperately tries to extinguish.

Nicky musters up a smile for Jim. It doesn't feel that convincing to him, but Jim doesn't comment on it.

It isn't long before he hears the whispering in French start up again on his other side. Nicky doesn't even think of hiding the way he's staring when Kevin grabs Neil's chin, his eyes wide and frightened and, Christ, what did Moreau even say to them?

Neil murmurs something in response, his tone nowhere near as hard as it was with Moreau, closer to a weird kind of reassuring. Kevin, still looking shaken, leans closer and speaks very, very quickly.

Nicky looks up, finds the others pretending real badly to not be looking, then back at Kevin and Neil whispering to each other.

Andrew chooses that moment to lean over Kevin and bat his hand away from Neil's face. "Careful, Day," he says, just loud enough for the rest of them to hear. "And breathe."

Neil huffs and, at a look from Andrew, makes a small, dismissive gesture. Only then does Andrew lean back into his own chair.

Nicky realizes, a second too late, that his jaw has dropped. Andrew's promised to protect Kevin. Nicky knows what that means. And if... for Neil...

 _What_ does this even mean?

He whips his head around to look at Aaron, hoping to convey a clear _did you see that shit?_ at him, but Aaron isn't looking at him. He's got his eyes narrowed, looking from Andrew to Neil and back in a way that makes Nicky's heart sink.

It's almost a relief when Abby ushers Kevin away, except then Dan's the one doing the questioning.

And he can't even blame her! She's the captain! She worries about their bunch of assholes, for some nutty reason!

"Didn't you hear?" Andrew says, slightly louder than Dan and Neil. "He's fine, Dan. Right, Neil?"

Nicky can't see Dan's face, with the way she turns to look at Andrew, but he just knows she's glaring at him. But Neil only sighs, not sounding even half as exasperated as he honestly probably should. "I am fine, yeah. I only--"

"You only?"

And, uh oh. Wymack's back. And doesn't really listen to Nicky when he tries to defend Neil. Or when any of the others try.

Figures.

He's not sorry to leave the whole mess behind for a while when he and Jim escape to the dance floor, Aaron and Katelyn not far behind.

He takes one last look behind him, managing to catch sight of Renee gently pulling a fuming Allison away ("I swear," he hears her say none too quietly. "I'm going to punch that asshole myself."), before he lets himself forget all the drama for a while.

Except then he comes back to get on the bus and finds out about Neil's continuing adventures in private conversations with Riko Moriyama while none of them are looking.

Jesus Christ.

-

Maybe, just maybe, he should be paying attention to whatever Andrew and Neil are getting up to.

It happens when he catches Neil in the library one day, him with a marketing assignment to get through and Neil with coffee and study materials. Talking about Aaron and Katelyn in the café turned into talking about Aaron and Andrew and juvie, and Aaron and Andrew and Aunt Tilda. And maybe it's Neil looking so unsurprised at every single thing that he says, his eyes steady on him the whole time, that gets Nicky spilling his guts about Aunt Tilda's accident and his hesitant, uncomfortable suspicions about it.

He wouldn't... He wouldn't ever try to get Andrew in trouble for it. Of course. And he's sure Neil wouldn't either--and it's just... speculation, anyway, nothing can happen to Andrew if he just speculates a little--but the words still feel slimy coming out of him. Like he should take them back, for once.

"Andrew did care," Neil says and Nicky freezes, sure he's misheard. "That's what went wrong."

 _Andrew_ and the concept of _caring_ are not things anyone ever puts together in a sentence. Though Nicky has tried.

And it's easy to be skeptical, until Neil reminds him of how Andrew ended up on that medication in the first place and the old guilt rushes over him again and.

Nicky swallows and, fine. Fine, he can entertain this conversation. Because he wants, he wants so badly for Aaron and Andrew to work out their issues together. He wants so badly for them to actually talk to each other. And if Neil's theory holds any water, if Andrew's just... what? Hurt because he feels Aaron took Aunt Tilda's side over his? If that theory can help him, then... Fine. He can consider it. Though...

Ugh. He still can't do this on his own. He doesn't know how just considering this could help him much, knowing Aaron and Andrew.

So he tells Neil as much, finishing it off with a reluctant, "I hate to say it, but I wish Renee would hurry up and make her move."

Neil, the little shit, actually smiles. Ugh.

"You're the only one I've seen react like that to this, you know, Neil," Nicky tells him.

His lips twitch, like he's holding back a laugh now, and Nicky remembers a moment too damn late that if Andrew actually tolerates Neil's presence, then of course he's like this.

"Seriously! All the others hate seeing them together!" 

"Because they think Andrew and Renee are going to get together?" Neil asks. That smile disappears, but his eyes still look like he's laughing at Nicky.

"Uh, yeah?" Nicky rests his cheek on his hand, elbow on the edge of the table. "See, I know... And I'm not trying to throw my own cousin under the bus... I know he's not good enough for her. Everyone does. In a perfect world, she doesn't have her eye on Andrew. But in this one, she does! I'd like to stop it from happening, but, Neil. Neil, I can't turn down her help. Andrew needs a distraction!"

"And that distraction is dating a girl? What about exy?"

"Oh my god, Neil. No." He holds up his other hand. "No sounding like Kevin right now, not in this library!"

Neil does laugh now, a short, little puff of laughter that, despite the fact he's so obviously making fun of him, Nicky finds endearing.

"Okay," Neil says, holding up both his hands, before setting them right back on the table. "I don't think Andrew and Renee are actually going to date."

"Because they didn't go to the banquet together?" Nicky frowns. "Did Andrew ever tell you anything about that? He talks to you, right? Did he tell you they broke up or something?"

"He talks to me," Neil says easily, his eyes on his notebook again.

Nicky perks up. "So? Am I right? Trouble in paradise? They have a fight? They're taking it slow?"

"None of those. Hey, I have to get back to studying, okay? Talk about Andrew and Renee later."

"Hey. Hey! Neil!"

The little shit smiles as he keeps ignoring Nicky.

Ohhh, this is not the last Neil will hear of this, if he has any say in it.

-

_Ravens._

God, he hates the fucking Ravens.

It wasn't. The game wasn't that bad, really. Nicky gave it his all. He knows he did, that everyone did.

Hell, Neil played with a ferocity he's literally never seen from him before, not even with Kevin yelling at him up and down the court. Plus, Andrew actually looked like he was _trying._

But he knows, they all know, that they can't possibly play at their best right now with this crazy line-up. And it didn't matter if Andrew was actually trying. He was still visibly flagging by the second half, withdrawal finally catching up with him.

But. Ten-seven. Not so bad, right?

Much less bad to hear Kevin actually sound optimistic about their performance. And _so_ much less bad to have Wymack tell them they're going back to their regular line-up.

After a call to Erik that night, and more than a few drinks at Abby's, Nicky goes to sleep feeling pretty damn good, actually.

-

Fuck the Ravens, anyway. Halloween's coming up and he's got better things to focus on.

Costumes! Free shots!

Neil inviting the upperclassmen to Eden's?

"What?" Nicky asks him in the middle of the costume shop where he's brought it up, sure he's misheard.

Neil doesn't even acknowledge Aaron protesting. "We should invite them," he says again, though he's got his eyes on Andrew this time.

Andrew looks up from where he's roughly shoving a costume back into one of the racks. "Ah, time for your team bonding already, then?"

"Already?" Nicky asks. "What does that mean?"

Andrew ignores him. He stares very, very intently at Neil for way too long, then shrugs. "Tell them," he says.

Nicky's jaw drops open in surprise. Wait, wait, did he hear that right?

"They're not going!" Aaron says, stepping between Andrew and Neil.

"Yeah, I, uh..." Nicky bites his lip. "Is this some kind of intimidation tactic? Because we kind of burned all the hang out together bridges last year. You remember that, right?"

"Matt," Neil says knowingly and he doesn't ask any questions about it like Nicky's expecting. Maybe Matt's already told him. "He's not holding a grudge though. They'll agree."

"Look, Neil," Nicky says in what he hopes is a conciliatory tone. "I appreciate what you're trying to do. But I don't know. They don't like us, you know that. Right, Andrew? You know it, too. Tell him."

Andrew rolls his eyes, yanking another costume off the rack. This one, he throws over his shoulder as he turns away from the rest of them.

"I don't care," he says airily, then he's gone, off to the other side of the shop.

Nicky rounds on Neil and sees Aaron turn a guarded look on him as well. "Just how did you do that?"

Neil shrugs and with a smile that's just a touch too knowing, says, "I asked?"

Aaron groans.

Nicky gives it up as a bad job. He and Andrew will see when the upperclassmen turn him down. "Yeah?" he tries instead, closing in on him to push him by the shoulders toward the costumes. "How about you listen to me when I ask and pick out a costume then? I'm thinking zombie cowboy!"

Now Neil's the one groaning. Whatever. He'll love it, he's sure of it.

It's a good day, overall, even with the weird specter of the upperclassmen possibly joining them for Halloween looming over them.

Weird. Really, really weird.

Then they're splitting up at Fox Tower and Dan breaks the news about a visitor, just in time for the visitor himself to arrive.

It's with his heart in his throat, Dan apprehensive to one side of him, Neil in stony silence to the other, that he watches Higgins knock on the door to his family's dorm.

"Oh," Andrew says when he opens the door, his eyes widening. The door shakes, just slightly, from Andrew's tight grip on the doorknob. He's smiling like always, but it's a strangely brittle one, much smaller than the usual ones his meds give him. "Is it that time already then?"

Neil shifts on his feet, but when Nicky turns to look, he's only staring intently at Andrew and Higgins with his jaw clenched.

Nicky looks back at Andrew and it feels a little like there's a stone in his chest. He doesn't know what's going on, but this feels wrong.

Andrew looks wrong.

"Andrew," Higgins says, voice steady. "I need to talk to you."

"No, I don't think you do. I told you what you needed to know, then I told you to keep kids out of her house and not to talk to me again, didn't I?" He snorts. "Oh, but you're not calling me, you'll say. You're here instead. Yes?"

"Yes." Higgins blows out a slow breath. "I was wrong. You were right, we didn't turn up anything."

"Obviously."

"But I get it now. We were looking at the wrong person. Look," he says, holding up a hand when Andrew goes tense. "I'm not asking you to tell me a lot. I just want to ask about one person. One person. None of the other kids will give us any details."

The smile is gone now, completely gone, and sometimes Nicky finds these moments eerier than the eerie medicated smiles themselves.

"And what if I don't want to talk about that person? There weren't supposed to be any more kids in that house, there shouldn't be any need to ask about any person. You should have known better."

"Andrew," Higgins says. He sighs even more deeply. "I know, Andrew. I know. But look... You know who I'm gonna ask about, don't you?"

"No," Andrew says, sounding even more insincere than usual.

"Just tell me yes or no, Andrew. Just give me that and I'll go away."

Inexplicably, Andrew looks away from Higgins and toward where the three of them are standing. His eyes slide over Dan and Nicky, settling on Neil for just a beat too long, his lips turning down in a frown.

But the meds don't let him frown for long.

He smiles, unfriendly, at the three of them, tapping his fingers noisily against the door.

"Neil, get Nicky the hell out of here, will you? The captain, too. This is a private conversation."

Neil is silent for long enough that Nicky thinks he might refuse. But soon enough, he nods stiffly at Andrew and turns on his heel. "Let's go to me and Matt's room."

Nicky hesitates, looking between Higgins and Andrew, but it's Dan who speaks.

"No," she says and, heedless of the man himself right in front of them, asks, "Why are the police looking for you, Andrew?"

He looks up at Higgins again, tapping his fingers noisily against the door.

"Dan," Neil says and Higgins goes to speak, but Andrew beats him to the punch.

"Always so hurtful, Captain Wilds. I'm not in trouble. This will not interfere with your team and you will forget about this whole sorry mess soon enough," he says, as if reciting from a list. "Pig Higgins just needs some help making a case. Lucky for him and his incompetent colleagues who couldn't work with what I've already told him." He bares his teeth at Higgins. "I have the information he needs. Now, run along, will you? This isn't your business."

The combined weight of Andrew, Higgins, and Neil's stares is enough to get Nicky moving and, after one last careful look aimed at Andrew, Dan follows him, letting Neil lead them into his dorm.

Dan goes as slowly as Nicky does though, so he has no doubt at all that, just before she closes the door behind them, she hears Higgins' firm, "Is it Drake, Andrew?" behind them.

"Who's Drake?" Dan whispers, the very second the door's firmly shut.

He sees Neil stiffen, but it's Nicky that Dan's looking at.

"I don't know." At Dan's incredulous look, he shakes his head and holds up his hands. "I swear, I've never heard of him!"

"I can't just believe that when he could be putting my team in danger!"

"I seriously, really don't! Andrew's never mentioned him."

"Nicky doesn't know him, Dan," Neil puts in quietly. "Trust me. This is just something from his past, okay? It's not affecting anything."

Nicky frowns. "Did Andrew..."

"You know who Drake is?" Dan asks and Neil's eyes widen. "Why are the cops looking for someone Andrew knows, Neil? He knows he could still violate the terms of his parole, right?"

"It's not like that," Neil says, firmer now. "I don't know... Drake." The piss-poor job he does of hiding the disdain in his voice does not really make him sound very honest. "But I know what I need to know. Don't ask him about it, it's just something from before."

"Aaron and I barely know anything about that time..."

"You said you didn't know Andrew before you got recruited," Dan says, less upset than genuinely confused now.

"I didn't." Neil levels a flat look on them both. "Andrew and I talk sometimes, all right? You know that. That's all it is."

Nicky lets out a disbelieving laugh and spreads his hands helplessly. "I don't know what kind of talking you do, if you can get him to tell you things like that. I've lived with him for years and I can't get him to tell me anything!"

It doesn't really hurt anymore. Not too much.

"I know. Sorry." Neil shrugs. "Just let it go for now, all right?"

Dan accepts that, though not without another suspicious look, and rubs roughly at her eyes.

"Okay," she says. "Okay. I'm sorry, Neil, I'm just..."

Neil's expression softens. "I know you're just worried. I get it, Dan."

There's a long silence then, where Nicky tries very hard not to look like he's snooping through Neil and Matt's room. But there's gotta be a reason Neil brought them here and not the girls' dorm, right? Where everyone actually is?

Probably to keep the others from asking questions, he settles on.

"Hey," Neil says at last. "Andrew and Higgins should probably be done by now and there's something I wanna ask the others. Let's go?"

Nicky tries not to smile. "Good luck, Neil."

The two fingered salute Neil gives him then is so much like Andrew's that he has to laugh.

-

One of these days, Nicky needs to ask Neil just what the fuck kind of asking it is he does.

Because sitting together at Sweetie's with the entire fucking exy team and a cheerleader is so not how he expected Halloween would really go.

Aaron's unhappy, he can tell, though he's hiding it well. He's got Katelyn by him, after all.

And he expected more of a fight on that but, like with the upperclassmen, Andrew surprised him.

Because Andrew hasn't said a word about Katelyn since the banquet. At most, he'll glance at her, then go on his way. No more taunting Aaron about her, no more calling her names, he just... doesn't react.

The one time Nicky brought it up, Andrew just wordlessly bared his teeth at him until Nicky changed the subject.

And when Aaron announced, not asked, that he was inviting her to Halloween, Andrew stared at him for one long moment, eerie smile in place, then said, "Oh, Aaron, I don't care what you do."

And that was the end of that.

So now it's the ten of them in a corner booth at Sweetie's. And it's... it's good. He forgets, sometimes, how very much he wants, _needs_ people who'll actually talk to him. Because Aaron stops being sullen sometimes for long enough to talk to him for a while and Neil listens more than he talks, but still lets Nicky chatter on about almost anything he wants, but it's just...

He needs more people! He needs more people to talk to when Kevin's ignoring them all in favor of watching exy and Andrew's flying so high he doesn't let Nicky get a word in edgewise.

And he tries. He tries to be cheerful enough to make up for how sullen the twins are, tries to be a brighter point for them than Tilda was, but. It's hard. And Nicky just isn't made for extended silences the way the rest of his family is. So, yeah, he has a great fucking time talking to the rest of the team and Katelyn.

He half-expects something to ruin it, some fight to break out like always, but Andrew's surprisingly mellow, for him, as he winds down from his medicine--he only makes threats once, and only once!--and Aaron's too wrapped up in Katelyn to complain like he so clearly wanted to earlier. It carries over to when they get to Eden's Twilight and Nicky's more relieved than he wants to admit.

The free shots don't hurt either.

Dan's the first one to ask though, and he's got no doubt it's got at least a little to do with the whole mess with Higgins that she even does so in the first place.

"You sure this is safe?" she asks him, while Andrew and Renee are taking the empty drinks tray back to the bar.

"Huh?" Nicky asks, sure he's missed a step here. What were they talking about again? "Eden's?"

"Letting Andrew be sober for a full night," she says. "Good idea, bad idea, won't live to regret it idea?"

Honestly not a question he was expecting. He should've been, maybe, with how little they really know about the whole thing, but he still ends up just staring at her for a moment, trying to get his thoughts in order.

So Nicky explains. How none of the people here, except him and Aaron, have really ever seen Andrew sober, how he's always got something in his system--even if he has, inexplicably, started refusing to buy cracker dust since this summer, he's still got copious amounts of alcohol to make up for it.

"Anyway," he finishes off. "It doesn't matter. You're all going to see him sober next summer. He should be done with rehab by the time we start June practices."

"Finally," Kevin says and Nicky has to hold back the urge to roll his eyes at his tone.

On second thought, he does roll his eyes. "Of course you're looking forward to this," he says, long-suffering. 

Neil interrupts before Nicky can say anything else, his voice quiet, "So am I."

"Huh?" Nicky taps his fingers against the table, once, twice. Did he hear that right? "Okay, I get why Kevin is." He rolls his eyes and, in a stage whisper, says to Dan, "He thinks he can get Andrew to care more about exy when he's sober. But why you, Neil?"

Neil blinks slowly at him. "Why not? You know he's not happy on them, Nicky."

"Could've fooled me," Allison says with a skeptical look in the direction Andrew and Renee disappeared to.

"That's not..." Neil clenches his jaw. "You know he's not smiling because he's happy or because he wants to be smiling, right? And you know he's being _forced_ to be high all the time. Right?"

"Yeah, uh, but it's because otherwise he's--"

"Destructive and joyless," Neil deadpans and just who told him about that? "I don't believe that."

Nicky hesitates. Neil's surprised him before with unexpected insight on Andrew, but. He doesn't know about this. He can't know. "You've never seen him sober, Neil," he points out gently. It's important that Neil understand this. "It's not pretty."

Neil makes a face at that, all tight and pinched. "I think I've seen enough of him, Nicky. And I think he'll be better off without this addiction forced on him."

Not for the first time, Nicky wishes he could listen in on one of Neil and Andrew's whispered conversations and figure out just what makes this... friendship or whatever tick.

He just doesn't know what to think.

Besides, when Neil puts it that way...

It's like a yawning pit in Nicky's stomach, thinking of Andrew's court order in those terms.

"I don't know, Neil," is all he can say.

They don't talk about it for the rest of the night.

Later, Andrew disappears from their table again. That wouldn't be anything out of the ordinary, except he leaves their drinks tray behind so he can't be at the bar and it's been long enough that he can't still be in the bathroom. And Andrew doesn't dance. God knows Nicky's tried to convince him more than once.

He eventually thinks to look to Neil and ask him if Andrew told him where he went, but oh, oops. Neil isn't at the table either. When did that happen?

Weird. Maybe they went out to smoke.

Nicky shrugs to himself, confirms Renee is staying at the table for now, and goes out onto the dance floor again. He's sure they'll turn up.

It's when he's coming back from a bathroom break of his own that he hears familiar voices in the little hallway that leads to one of the backdoors.

Curious, Nicky pokes his head out.

And immediately pulls back, eyes widening in surprise. He blinks, hard. How much has he had to drink tonight?

No. He's imagining things.

He peeks again, slowly this time, and yeah. Yeah, all right. That's Neil and Andrew, looking real nice and cozy at the end of the hall. Neil's got his arms draped around Andrew's shoulders, Andrew's face tilted up to look at him and his own hands at Neil's waist and.

How did this happen? _When_ did this happen? _Is_ this even happening?!

Fuck, Nicky's definitely had way too much to drink. He's going to wake up in the morning and he find he imagined this.

"Erik," Nicky says to him over the phone even later that night, very, very mournfully. "Is my gaydar broken?"

Erik laughs so hard he chokes.

He wakes up in the morning with a splitting headache, a tangle of mixed feelings (did Andrew not think he'd be supportive?!), and the absolute certainty that Andrew will shove him out the nearest window if he doesn't find the right way to ask. Or congratulate.

(Because, Neil? Good fucking taste.)

Oh, how is he supposed to keep his mouth shut about this?

-

The twins' birthday brings its own nasty surprise with it.

Nicky's not expecting any miracles. He's not expecting Andrew and Aaron to get along, much less for them to even wish each other a happy birthday, but...

He can still try, right?

And it's... fine. Neither of them complains about the presents he gets them and nobody gets into any kind of fight. Nobody's stomping out of the dorm or anything, and even Neil and Renee drop by briefly with gifts. So it's...

Nicky's about to tentatively call it a success.

Until his phone rings and it's his mother.

Nicky's fingers go numb around his phone, his heart beating so fast and so hard and so painfully he's almost expecting it to beat its way right out of his chest and out onto the dorm's shitty carpet.

He can't be hearing this right.

Is he dreaming?

He's swallowing back tears, shaking, by the time he hangs up and he just. He just needs.

He can't.

Nicky just wants to see his mom.

He goes to Neil.

* * *

"Please, Neil? I want my mom back. I miss her more than you know."

He knows, is the thing. He knows too goddamn much.

For starters, Neil knows precisely how Maria Hemmick will break her son's heart once again.

"Nicky..." Neil says, his heart squeezing in his chest in sympathy. And isn't that still kind of a novelty? Eight years that no longer exist and it's still a novelty to feel that. "Nicky, I don't think Andrew's going to go for it."

He and Andrew have talked about this. They've discussed, they've planned, they've tried to account for what their meddling might change. They've got tentative ideas and no need to risk a visit to the Hemmicks for it.

Because the fact of the matter is Neil would sooner tear his heart out of his chest with his own two hands than ask Andrew to go to that house on the day Drake will be there.

Though what they've got is still hardly ideal. A meeting they can control, rather than risking Riko getting creative with Drake, sounds good enough on paper. But he's still fucking terrified.

And it just doesn't feel like enough.

This time, their plan's just about preventing it happening again and about keeping Aaron safe. Because he knows, he knows too damn well that, for Andrew, it won't change that much.

He already lived through this day once.

"Come on, Neil," Nicky says, his hands clasped tightly, but not tightly enough to hide the shaking entirely. "If anyone can convince Andrew, it's you."

It's true. And he's not going to.

"He's not going to go for it and... Nicky." He rubs the back of his neck, thinking his words through carefully, for once. "I'm not trying to discourage you." He is. "But after everything they've done to you, do you really think they've changed?"

Nicky gives him a watery smile. "I think they're trying."

If he had even an ounce of sympathy to spare for the elder Hemmicks themselves, he'd wish they were, if only for Nicky's sake. But thinking of how that visit turned out the first time around is enough to burn away every bit of emotion he could have once had on their behalf.

Even now, Neil has to breathe in deeply, count back from ten in half the languages he knows, to carefully push down the ball of white-hot anger.

No. There's a reason he asked Andrew not to coincidentally drop by for this conversation.

Neil knows how this ends. He knows Nicky will be happier, in the end, without his parents there to put him down all the time, even if their intentions were miraculously sincere.

"Why don't you invite them to Palmetto instead? Not to campus, but one of the towns nearby?" Neil asks carefully. "See if they want to come here and meet you, just the two of them. If you're up to that, anyway."

It's a concession he doesn't want to give, but sticking close to campus is their best bet short of breaking Nicky's heart entirely.

The question is whether Luther and Maria will agree, even when Andrew demands that Neil and Kevin be there, too. And whether Nicky will even agree to this himself.

But he's forgotten, over the years, just how desperate Nicky was to see his parents again, because he barely even blinks. Neil hasn't even finished speaking and Nicky's already nodding.

"Yes. Yes, of course. But do you think Andrew would go for that if you asked him?"

Neil would hope so, seeing as they came up with the idea together. But all he says is, "I'll talk to him."

"Thank you," Nicky whispers fiercely. "Thank you."

"Don't thank me yet." Neil sighs and, with a strained smile at Matt where he's pretending not to hear them, heads for the door. "Wait here, all right? Matt'll keep you company."

"Matt!" Nicky says, his voice wavering only for a moment, then Neil's out the door and into the cousin's dorm.

His dorm again soon, if they all play their cards right.

Even though before they came back to the past it'd been a good three years since he was last in Fox Tower, it's still disconcerting to have Kevin and Aaron turn twin wary looks of suspicion on him whenever he walks in. This time, he just shrugs and gestures toward the door to the bedroom where he knows Andrew must be waiting for him, and mouths, "Nicky" at them.

They don't ask questions.

He finds Andrew perched on the desk, frowning down at his phone. When Neil closes the door behind him, he looks up slowly, and the expression on his face still isn't quite the Andrew he knows, it's more amusement than he'd be comfortable showing, leg bouncing against the desk and smile still just a bit too wide, but it's not a manic grin he has no control over.

Something in Neil's chest loosens at the sight.

"Neil," he says in greeting and snaps his phone shut. "He asked?"

"He asked," Neil says and, at Andrew's nod, sits beside him on the desk, pressed together from hip to knee. "And he agreed to inviting them somewhere closer."

Andrew hums in answer, then, "So you're asking my permission now?"

Neil shrugs. "Your permission, your cooperation, I'm not sure which one he's thinking."

"Well," he says airily. "Be sure to tell him I was very against it, yes? We wouldn't want him creating any expectations, now, would we?" He doesn't laugh as he says it and there's no heat to his voice either, sounding almost like the man Neil knows.

Neil shrugs. "I'll just tell him I asked."

Andrew rolls his eyes, but he doesn't protest, just bumps his shoulder against Neil's.

"How are you feeling?" Neil asks after the silence has stretched on long enough. He should go back to Nicky, tell him to talk to Andrew, but.

He still misses having as much time alone with Andrew as he wants.

Andrew eyes him, then reaches out to flick his ear. "Oh, I'm doing wonderfully. Early parole is going great," he says sardonically.

Neil gives him his best unamused look. It's not what he was asking and Andrew knows it, but it _is_ something he'd have asked about soon anyway.

Smart-ass.

 _Early parole,_ Andrew's taken to calling it and it isn't even entirely inaccurate. It's their current plan. This, instead of Easthaven. It's backup, when Andrew never worries about his own well-being. It's encouraging Andrew to take enough initiative with Betsy to get that lower dosage he's been taking.

Weaning him off the meds instead of withdrawal at Easthaven. This, instead of risking Proust.

Wymack and Abby know, and Renee, but none of the others yet, not until Blackwell shows up to sign off on it, too.

Without him, it stays at a lower dose until the summer.

And he thinks... The lower dose has actually been better. He thinks Andrew might be less miserable on it, but.

But Andrew didn't choose these meds, high dose or low dose. Even when Betsy, the Betsy of their future, gently suggested other meds, ones that he could choose and might actually help, Andrew always refused, the memory of the ones he'd been forced to take still too fresh even then.

So weaning him off them it is.

Neil raises his eyebrows. "Well, as long as you're feeling all right. You talk to Higgins again yet?"

"I don't want to talk about Pig Higgins today, Neil," Andrew says, bouncing his leg faster. "You know we can't rely on the cops."

"No. But they might scare him until Ichirou cleans house."

The thing is, in the future, their future that's gone now, Neil did eventually get a vague summary from Stuart on how Ichirou cleaned house. It's how he knows Proust did die and how he knows just how hard Riko tried to get at all the Foxes.

So he knows that, regardless of what the cops decide for Drake, Drake is going to die. Riko told him too much and Ichirou is going to have him killed, one way or another. Even that is too pessimistic. It's more likely than anything that Riko will have him killed by the beginning of the new year to keep him from spilling any secrets.

But Kengo's death is still months away. And though this plan will prevent Aaron ever having to show up in court and Andrew ever having to tear himself open in front of a jury in exchange for his brother's freedom...

The fact is though, the simple truth is that if Andrew wants Drake dead by Thanksgiving, Neil will make damn sure he dies by Thanksgiving.

One way or another.

"Stop thinking," Andrew says quietly. "We will go. But do not let Aaron out of your sight either."

Neil nods and says, "I'll make sure he's somewhere you can see him the whole time. Nicky and Kevin, too."

He gets the feeling he'll _need_ to focus on his friends, if only to keep himself from doing something he won't regret. Like try to deal with Luther Hemmick himself.

Andrew doesn't answer. On a whim, Neil holds out his hand between them.

Andrew stares at it like they've never held hands before, shrugs, and reaches for his hand. He squeezes, releases, and squeezes his hand again, all restless energy.

"Let's just get this over with," Andrew says.

Neil's the one to squeeze his hand now and, briefly, he rests their heads together, temple to temple.

Just a little longer, he hopes.


	4. Aaron

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings:** Drake is in this chapter, briefly. There is NO rape, but past rape/Drake's past abuse of Andrew does come up in non-explicit terms multiple times. The Hemmicks' homophobia toward Nicky is also mostly non-explicit. Feel free to check out the endnotes if you want more specifics.

Dinner with the Hemmicks. Great.

Dinner with the Hemmicks with Kevin and Josten tagging along. Even greater. Fucking fantastic, even.

Katelyn tells him it won't be that bad, that it'll be fine. It might even be a nice family reunion, she says, but the only bright side Aaron can find is that at least it isn't going to be at the Hemmicks' house. _Or_ on Thanksgiving day.

Small fucking mercies.

He doesn't even try to argue for inviting Katelyn either, and not just because of Andrew. They've always been perfectly fine to him, but the farther away she stays from Uncle Luther and Aunt Maria, the better. Especially with how much of a mess this is undoubtedly going to be.

Nicky looks so pathetic that Aaron can't even bring himself to say anything to him when he drives them to a sit-down restaurant the next town over from campus.

Josten isn't getting the same kind of sympathy from him though.

Aaron rolls his eyes when he sees the way Josten practically attaches himself to Andrew's side when they file out of the car, Kevin stepping out from the other side of the backseat. The guy's gotta be real damn scared of whatever it is he's hiding from to keep clinging to him like this whenever they go out. It's pathetic.

That's his twin, all right, the asshole who keeps gathering these pathetic little cowards.

Uncle Luther and Aunt Maria are already waiting for them inside when the hostess shows them to a table right at the end and near the doors to the kitchen, both looking like they'd rather be anywhere but here.

The feeling's mutual.

This is such a waste of time, when Nicky's just going to end the day crying over his parents again then spend the whole night crying to Erik. He's got no clue why Andrew even agreed to this in the first place.

 _(I asked,_ Josten said, like that explained a single goddamned thing.)

Nicky shuffles nervously beside the table, his eyes not quite on his parents. As he takes a seat at one end of the table, Aaron tunes out the stilted hellos and Aunt Maria's polite greeting for Kevin and Josten, accompanied by Uncle Luther's considering looks at them.

And he bites the inside of his cheek to hold back a caustic remark when Aunt Maria looks straight past him at Andrew taking his seat near the middle and says, "Aaron, it's been a long time."

"Aaron," he says, schooling his expression as best as he can.

Aunt Maria looks between the two of them uncertainly, while Nicky reminds her about Andrew's meds and whatever it is that's keeping her from recognizing them. Then Andrew reminds her of the restraining order she never filed.

Christ, that's just typical. He just can never help himself, can he?

He bites his tongue on anything he could say, watching as Andrew settles into his seat between Kevin and Josten.

Hm. Andrew's... not smiling? No. No, he is, but it's a tiny little thing and...

Aaron sits up where he's been slouching in his seat. He's not...

He didn't skip his goddamn meds for this, did he?

"Nicky," he hisses while Kevin's playing at being a polite guest, nudging him with his elbow.

"What?" Nicky answers, keeping his eyes on where Uncle Luther's saying something to Kevin.

"Andrew took his meds, right?"

"What?" Nicky turns to him. "Yeah, I saw him," he says under his breath, eyes wide and bewildered.

Aaron nudges him again, then nods toward Andrew where he's sitting with his eyebrows raised at Uncle Luther, but still only with a small lopsided smile on his face. "Explain that, then."

"Uh." Nicky glances at him, then back at Aaron. "He took them," he says, slower this time. "I saw him."

"Then something's wrong with them, because..."

"Is everything all right?" Uncle Luther asks suddenly.

Aaron freezes, thinks fast. "Yeah. Yeah, just had to ask Nicky something about one of my classes," he says while Nicky nods, just on the edge of frantic.

Andrew, the asshole, smirks in their direction.

With one last confused look and a brief touch of Nicky's hand on his shoulder, Aaron resolves to put it aside for the moment. First, they have to survive Andrew in the same building as their aunt and uncle, while Nicky goes and gets his heart broken yet again, public location be damned.

The conversation doesn't go much of anywhere between the waiter getting there and everyone placing their orders, Uncle Luther taking the time to ask Josten, of all people, about religion. Like he's going to get the answer he wants from anyone in this group except Nicky. And, even then, he won't like it.

Because the food hasn't even arrived by the time Nicky brings up Erik and they waste no time in reminding them all why nothing Nicky does is ever good enough for them.

Yeah. Yeah, that does it, all right. Nicky's face falls at Aunt Maria's obvious discomfort, at the way Uncle Luther pauses in grilling Josten. And yep, that's how it goes. Didn't take them long at all to show they hadn't changed their minds about Nicky at all.

This is such a waste of time.

Aaron looks away and locks eyes with Kevin, who looks like he might be five seconds away from making a break for it--if not for the fact he's terrified to go anywhere alone. Whatever, maybe Aaron could be the one to make a break for it today.

That's how the waiter finds them when he brings by their food, coming to an abrupt stop when he comes close enough to hear what Aunt Maria and Uncle Luther are saying.

Aaron looks away from him, too. Nope, he's pretending he's not here. This is not happening.

Uncle Luther doesn't seem to notice. "When will you understand?" he's saying to Nicky, oblivious to the fact they've got company now. "It is wrong--"

"Luther," Andrew says, just his name, nothing else.

But it stops Luther as effectively as if he'd physically covered his mouth and he aims a wary look at Andrew.

Someday, he'll find out just what the hell Uncle Luther and Andrew have against each other, besides the obvious.

The waiter seizes his chance and, before long, they've all got their plates dropped off in front of them and Luther's trying to lead them in saying grace.

It's laughable, honestly.

Though not as laughable as the realization that, as the rest of the table falls into awkward silence, it's up to _Aaron_ to keep the conversation going. Andrew'd probably chew off his own hand before he tried to make conversation with the Hemmicks and Nicky's so pitiful right now that he can't even bring himself to look too closely at him--not without the guilt gnawing at him and he hasn't even done anything.

He holds back a sigh and starts asking questions, about old neighbors, about people he knew in high school, some he still texts, some he'd rather never see again. He doesn't care. He just needs anything that'll keep Uncle Luther and Aunt Maria busy.

And it works. For a while. Polite conversation and pretending they all actually like each other.

Eventually, "I'd like to speak with you, Andrew," Uncle Luther says and Aaron snaps his mouth shut.

Andrew doesn't answer right away, just drags his fork against his plate so hard it screeches.

"Well?" Andrew asks at length and he's not smiling now. "Speak, Luther."

Uncle Luther frowns disapprovingly. "Alone."

Andrew looks over his shoulder, then back, one eyebrow raised. "You see the crowded restaurant, yes? That's not going to happen."

"Outside, Andrew. It will only take a moment."

Aunt Maria's looking at Andrew now, too, something expectant to the look on her face.

Andrew sets his fork down, but he's still got a knife in his other hand. "No." The knife switches hands and he's smiling again. "Now, what could you possibly have to say to me that you can't say here? Wasn't this whole thing all about making amends? With everyone?"

"This is a family matter, Andrew."

"Is it?" Once again, the smile disappears. "Is this not your family?"

"Dad," Nicky cuts in hesitantly. "Wasn't this whole day a family matter?"

Uncle Luther, if anything, looks even more disapproving. "It is a matter that is best spoken of privately. A relationship best repaired privately. It does not concern you, Nicholas."

Nicky's face falls. Across from Aaron, Kevin shifts uncomfortably in his seat, but keeps his mouth shut. Aaron's got half a mind to grab him and run, after all.

"What?" Josten, the fucker, does not keep his mouth shut. He scoffs and turns a hard look on Uncle Luther. "I thought the point was for your family to 'make amends.' Shouldn't he stay here for that? Who do you want him to make amends with if you take him away from most of them?"

"There is no need to worry," Aunt Maria cuts in, not answering the question. "This is a conversation I think he should have."

Josten just scowls harder, while Andrew sits uncharacteristically still next to him.

"So, who did you bring?" Andrew asks and it's not even what he says. It's just his voice alone. There's something about that voice that has Aaron tensing, his fingers clenching around his glass.

He can't tell what it is. Is this that stupid twin sense thing?

Who could they want Andrew to talk to? Aaron's barely met any of their extended family and Andrew's met a whole whopping zero of them. It doesn't make sense.

Uncle Luther closes his eyes and lets out a sigh. "There is a reason we reached out this year, of all years," he says, looking straight at Andrew again. "And that reason is you, Andrew."

What.

Andrew stares at Uncle Luther, still not moving an inch. But it's when Aaron looks down that he sees that's not quite right, not when he spots the white-knuckled grip Andrew's got on his knife, the slight tremble to his fingers.

Aaron can't look away, dread rising in his gut.

Sounding disappointed at the lack of response, Luther goes on, "Meeting you was not our idea." Beside Aaron, Nicky sighs mournfully. "I believe it was providence when an old foster brother of yours contacted us. It inspired us to attempt to bridge the gap in our family again. I'm sure you'll be able to guess who I mean, but we wanted to clear the air just as much as he wants to clear up the misunderstand--"

 _"Do not_ finish that sentence," Andrew says, voice so flat it might as well be dead.

Startled, Aaron looks up, but Andrew's got eyes for no one but Luther.

"You know I don't like that word, Luther."

"Andrew," Uncle Luther goes on, undeterred, ignoring Nicky's frantic little whisper of _Dad._ "He just wants to speak to you after you two parted on such bad terms. It's been so long since you and Drake spoke and--"

Andrew slams his free hand down on the table, and then he's standing, the hand with the knife up, up, aimed straight at Luther, and Kevin's rearing back in his seat, but Josten's standing and _not_ getting between Andrew and Luther. Josten's glaring at Luther like he's personally wronged _him_ and just what is going on?

Heart pounding in his chest, Aaron flicks a glance toward the rest of the restaurant, but the waiter's nowhere in sight and the table closest to them is just big enough, and just noisy enough, that no one's looked at them yet.

Yet. Yet. It won't stay that way if Andrew fucking _stabs Uncle Luther._

"Who's Drake?" Nicky asks, voice high.

"Shut up, Nicky," Andrew says without looking at him. "You do not get to bring him up to me, Luther," he continues, voice steadily rising. "You do _not._ Not now, not ever. I will not speak to him and I will not speak to you about him."

"I suggest," Josten says, deathly quiet. "That you tell him to go home, before the cops investigating him figure out he's crossed state lines. His friend who's trying to buy them off can only help him so much."

"Investigating?" Nicky asks, strangled. He gasps. "Wait. Higgins?!"

Aaron rounds on him, but Nicky isn't looking at him and Kevin looks just as lost as he feels.

"A malicious investigation," Luther says firmly. "He's a good man who is being accused of something... something utterly ridiculous. Hasn't this gone on long enough, Andrew? Accusing him of something so..." Luther trails off, his eyes glued to Andrew's face.

"Ridiculous?" Andrew asks and oh. Oh shit, the look on his face is an awful thing, an ugly, twisted, _angry_ look Aaron didn't think his meds would let him make. "No. No, I don't think so. You don't get to say that, Luther. You don't get to keep denying what he's done. Not today and not ever again."

Josten presses his shoulder against Andrew's and murmurs something Aaron can't hear.

Andrew doesn't move.

Their waiter chooses that moment to return, because it just has to be when his twin's got a knife aimed at their uncle and most of the rest of the table looks terrified. It just has to be.

The waiter starts babbling something, Aaron doesn't listen, only catching the words _manager_ and _leave._

"We are leaving," Andrew says above him and slams his other hand down on the table, leaving the restaurant's knife behind on its surface.

Josten doesn't hesitate to follow Andrew out and, his heart in his throat, Aaron follows them right out, Nicky and Kevin behind him.

He spares only one last glance for Aunt Maria and Uncle Luther, hearing Luther saying something about paying their bill _right now,_ before he's turning away.

"What the fuck was that about?" Aaron hisses as soon as they're outside in the late afternoon sun.

Andrew ignores him, just shoves his shoulder against him and toward the car.

Nicky stops by the driver's door, Aaron at the passenger door, but Aaron can't tear his eyes away from Andrew and his unsmiling face.

"Andrew," Nicky asks desperately. "Who is Drake? What... No, what did my parents _do_ to you?"

"No," Andrew says, and he glares at Kevin until he nods and scrambles into the backseat of car.

"Andrew, just listen..."

"He doesn't want to talk about it, Nicky," Josten says. Andrew glares at him, too. "Let's just go."

It's there at the very edge of the parking lot, Kevin half inside the car and the rest of them standing tense, that another car door slams open and a sixth voice joins them.

"Hey, Andrew? Aw, Andy, is that you? Don't tell me you're trying to leave already! Luther said he'd--"

Aaron doesn't hear the rest of that. There's a roaring in his ears and he can't, he can't hear it.

It's like the world stops around him. Because beside him, in front of the open door to the backseat, Andrew freezes. Fuck the creepy-ass smiles, fuck how he was looking at Luther, this, _this_ is the worst expression he's ever seen on his twin's face. 

Josten's face transforms, a mask of anger so deep Aaron almost takes a step back away from him.

"To hell with the plan," he thinks he hears him say. And, in a heartbeat, Josten's pushing past Andrew and toward the big guy approaching them--Drake? Is this that Drake guy?

Kevin scrambles right back out of the car, yelling right along with Nicky for him to stop.

Fuck this and fuck what they want. Aaron heads out right behind Josten. Whatever this Drake guy did or didn't do, Aaron can be sure of one thing: he doesn't want him anywhere near his brother.

Or at least, he tries to go after Josten. Andrew, frozen until then, moves faster than Aaron, his hand shooting out to grab the back of his collar.

"Stay," he says tightly, before Aaron can get a word in edgewise, his voice so low it's barely even a whisper.

"What the fuck?" he yells, trying and failing to look over his shoulder at Andrew, who just tightens his grip.

When he whips his head around again, he finds Kevin showing the beginnings of a spine, maybe, with the way he's holding Josten back from the guy holding his hands up a few yards away from them.

That's how Luther and Maria find them this time.

"Stop!" Luther's voice rings out. "What in god's name are you doing?"

"Aaron!" Maria yells, eyes wide and anxious, looking at him pleadingly like he can even do a damn thing. "Aaron, stop him!"

Andrew doesn't let go of his shirt.

His hand is shaking, Aaron realizes It's that, most of all, that gets him to stop struggling. And to realize his own hands are shaking, too.

Aaron clenches his fists at his sides, only half-watching as Josten hisses something in Drake's direction, right before Luther gets in there yelling something about calling the cops or whatever and finally, _finally_ Andrew speaks again.

"Neil," he says louder, firmly. "We are leaving."

Josten listens to him, backing away to leave Luther with Drake. His every move is reluctant, as if he'd like nothing better than to sock Drake right in his smiling face, as if he could actually even do any damage to a guy that big, but he backs away with his fists clenched at his sides.

For once though, Aaron knows exactly how Josten feels.

They leave.

Josten's spitting mad in the backseat, cursing as Nicky pulls out of the parking lot like Uncle Luther's about to chase them down himself, Andrew eerily silent beside him.

It isn't until they reach the highway, when Josten's already shut his mouth, that any of the rest of them speak.

"What. The. Fuck," Aaron says lowly.

No one answers, so he tries again.

"What the hell just happened?"

Josten's the one to answer. "Your uncle had ulterior motives," he says stiffly. "Isn't it obvious?"

Aaron bristles.

"I'm sorry." Nicky sighs. "I really thought that maybe..."

Josten shrugs jerkily. "You can't control what your parents do," he says, though the anger still in his voice makes it sound anything but reassuring.

Andrew doesn't answer. He barely even seems to be breathing in the seat behind Aaron's.

Aaron clenches his fists in his lap. What the hell does he have to say to get him to talk?

"That's who Higgins came to South Carolina to ask you about," Nicky says tentatively and it's not a question. "It had to be for something serious, if he came this far."

Andrew laughs, a low, dark chuckle.

_Ah. Hello again, Andrew's medication. Where have you been?_

"You could say that," Andrew says and the sound of his voice is still fucking awful. "It must be important if Pig Higgins went so far from home just to talk to little old me, right?"

"That's not..." Nicky swallows. "I just mean..."

"Oh, I know what you mean, Nicky. I know what you want to ask, too, but I don't hear you asking that question."

Aaron glances at the wheel, seeing the way Nicky's holding on for dear life.

"This Drake guy did something," Nicky says, voice wavering. "And my parents know, knew, about it."

"I'm still not hearing a question."

Aaron's patience gives out. "He did something to you," he snaps, clenching his hands around his knees hard enough to hurt. "He did something to you and Uncle Luther didn't believe you. And he's done something that's got the cops asking all his other old foster siblings questions, right? And none of them wanted to talk? Something that level of serious, right?" He breathes in harshly. "Have I got this wrong, Andrew?"

There's his fucking question.

He's shaking, he realizes. Cold all over.

Because the truth, the unfortunate truth in this case, is Aaron isn't stupid. Andrew doesn't talk to him, but it wasn't hard to see how much Higgins contacting him agitated him. He was holed up in the bedroom texting Katelyn when Higgins came by the dorms, but Nicky told him about that cryptic conversation later that night.

And Uncle Luther never told him anything about how he convinced Andrew to come quietly to South Carolina after refusing to meet Aaron when he'd still been in California, but he thinks he heard enough in that restaurant.

He can connect the dots. And they're not forming a full picture yet with what he knows, but all the possibilities are enough to turn his stomach.

If Luther and Maria were planning for them to meet... What would have happened, how would it have gone, if they'd gone to their house, after all? How would Andrew have reacted?

He's going to be fucking sick.

"Oh, Aaron," Andrew says, and he might sound pitying, if he were capable of it. "I've changed my mind. Don't ask stupid questions."

Nicky lets out a choked sound, but it's Aaron who speaks again, his skin suddenly _boiling._

"I'll kill him," he says and surprises himself with how steady his voice comes out. He will, he will.

"No. You will not."

"Andrew," he protests, fire in his voice. "Like hell I won't. That guy's--"

"It's been taken care of."

"Neil," Kevin says, finally finding his voice. He's looking at Josten warily when Aaron glances at him, his shoulders stiff. "How did you know so much about this already? Or about the cops investigating him? Did Officer Higgins tell you something?"

And that's a good question. How the hell does Josten know about any of this? How the hell did he know to say any of what he did?

How much does Andrew talk to him?

"No. Higgins didn't tell me anything."

"Then how?" Aaron demands, twisting around in his seat to face him where he sits in the middle seat. "What the fuck is your game here?!"

Josten glares at him just as intensely as Aaron's glaring at him. "Nothing, Aaron. There is no game."

"Don't you--"

"Enough," Andrew cuts in, voice icy. "Enough talking for now, I'm not saying anything else about this."

"You can't just decide-"

"I said enough, Aaron."

Aaron seethes, but snaps his mouth shut.

To hell with this.

-

He only lets the silence last until they get to Fox Tower.

Andrew thinks he's slick, the way he slips out of the car and is inside and in the elevator before the rest of them can speak to him, even his shadows Kevin and Josten. Aaron stomps into the lobby after him, notes the fact the other elevator is going in the wrong direction and thinks _fuck it._ He does more cardio than Andrew does anyway.

He takes the stairs two at a time, coming out on the third floor landing hard enough the door slams against the wall. A soccer player recoils from Aaron and scurries into his room, but he's got no goddamn time for this.

 _"Andrew!"_ he calls and, there, not slowing down at all, is Andrew.

He walks right past the door to their dorm, toward the end of the hall, but Aaron's faster. Aaron's fast enough to reach him before he gets to the set of stairs at the other end, slamming one hand against the wall behind Andrew.

Andrew doesn't even flinch.

"Careful, Aaron," he says, as he turns to face him--Aaron's certainly left him enough room. His voice is dark, low, but there's nothing but faint amusement on his face.

It's eerie. It's fucking creepy. Did he ever really prefer this to the brother he first met at sixteen?

He shakes his head roughly. "What are you playing at? All of that and you just _run?_ What the... What are you even..." He sputters, struggling for words. "You think you can just drop all of that on us and run?!"

Andrew hums. "Funny. I don't remember dropping anything on you."

"Do _not_ give me that shit!" Aaron bites out.

And he can't do this. He can't.

He doesn't even really know what he's asking for. He just. He needs to keep talking. He needs to _talk._ He needs to understand this.

Maybe... Maybe he just wants to have Andrew deny it.

Because Aaron's not stupid. He can connect the dots.

But he wishes he couldn't connect the dots. Because.

Because regardless of which of the possibilities is the truth, one thing is clear. Aaron couldn't do anything. He never could do anything.

He wants to yell. To deny anything ever happened. To demand Andrew confirm something did happen.

He wants to turn right back around to Columbia and strangle Drake Spear with his own two hands until he can stop the screaming inside his head.

But the noise has attracted the upperclassmen by now, the four of them spilling out of the girls' dorm to stare at them, and the elevator dings, revealing Nicky, Kevin, and Josten and.

Aaron backs off and squeezes his hands into fists.

"Aaron! Andrew!" Nicky gasps out, at the same time that Dan's eyes widen when she catches sight of them.

"What's going on here?" she says in her captain voice. "Why are you... Aaron?!"

Yeah, yeah, big surprise. It's him in Andrew's face instead of Andrew in someone else's face. Great show, right?

Matt and Allison hang back behind Dan, but Renee weaves between them to reach them and in a flash, Josten's right beside her. Because he's fucking everywhere his twin is nowadays.

"I think you should step away from each other," Renee says in her soft voice, eyeing Aaron cautiously.

No.

"Seriously," Josten says and now Nicky's behind him, face drawn. "Let it go, Aaron. This isn't the time."

And that just does it.

_Josten._

Drake hurt Andrew. And Josten... Now Josten's the one who...

Aaron can connect the dots.

Were things a little different, he might not have noticed. But he's not stupid and he knows his own goddamn house. He knows where Josten sleeps in Columbia.

And he knows so very well how much Andrew avoids anyone getting too close to him. For fuck's sake, he doesn't even let Aaron and Nicky into his room and they're family. So for him to let Josten sleep in his room, for them to spend all this time together...

In hindsight, he should have realized there was a reason Andrew, that hypocrite, stopped giving him shit about Katelyn.

"What the fuck is going on?" Allison demands. "Shit! The hell's gotten into all of you today?"

Aaron ignores her. He can't do this.

"Yeah, you'd know all about what time it would be, don't you, Josten? You know everything about my brother now, don't you? And you knew that guy was going to be there!"

"Drop it, Aaron!"

"Step away, now, Aaron," Andrew says cheerfully. "Before I move you myself."

"Aaron!" Nicky says. "Plea... Come on, stop it. Let's just... Drop it. Hasn't today been long enough?"

And it's Nicky's pleading look, the way his voice breaks, that cuts through the sick anger pulsing through Aaron.

He locks eyes with Andrew once more, sees nothing but amusement in them and, abruptly, hates those pills more than he ever has before. He hates them, he hates them, so much it burns him up inside.

 _I hope he does stop taking them,_ he thinks viciously. _I hope he flushes them all right the fuck now._

He steps back again, ignoring what the upperclassmen are saying, ignoring what Josten is saying to Andrew and just. He just needs...

Breathing hard, he looks away from Andrew.

Andrew disappears after that, Josten right along with him and.

Fine. Fucking fine. He doesn't even want to look at his brother right now anyway.

At the upperclassmen's invitation, Nicky tries to drag him and Kevin into the girls' dorm, but he can't do this.

Besides, what? One evening spent together in Halloween and now they want to be friends? Please.

He leaves Nicky and Kevin to it and heads in the opposite direction.

Aaron calls Katelyn instead. And fuck Andrew if he walks in the dorm and gets pissed he's talking to her.

He means to just talk to her, just give a brief summary of the day, no details, then ask her about her own. But before he knows it, it's all spilling out. The whole sorry story, every single detail right down to the suspicions Andrew didn't confirm. He tells her the suspicions he can't hold for too long without wanting to physically tear them out of his brain.

He trusts her more than anyone. She won't tell anyone, she won't say a word. And that's terrifying, horrifying, dangerous. But not as much as the thoughts that keep going round and round and round in his head.

Halfway through the call, he realizes he's shaking, so much the phone almost slips through his fingers.

What he knows is this.

Drake Spear has hurt Andrew before. Drake Spear has done something that's got the cops in Oakland on his ass and asking his former foster siblings questions.

Drake Spear has hurt Andrew before and Uncle Luther knew about it.

Aaron doesn't understand it all, but he knows, with an awful certainty he's never felt before, that if he ever sees Drake Spear again only one of them will walk out of that meeting alive.

-

They avoid each other, the next few days, he and Andrew. All of them.

Aaron avoids everyone but Katelyn, speaking the absolute bare minimum during practice.

Their next game comes around and they win, sure, great, whatever. But he's got other things on his mind.

With Renee back in her usual position, Andrew doesn't have to spend the entire game going through withdrawal. There shouldn't be any trouble. But Aaron still pays extra attention to him while he's on and during halftime, when he takes his meds again.

Andrew catches him at it partway through the third quarter, when it's Matt, Nicky, and Renee out there on defense with Allison.

The strange thing isn't that he catches Aaron at it--that man is so observant it's infuriating--but that he's sitting there staring out at the court instead of passed out rebooting on a bench somewhere.

Is this new?

Aaron searches back in his memory and finds, feeling more than a little stupid, that... No. This isn't the first time this has happened.

Andrew's been looking less unsteady after each game. At the time, when he first noticed, he thought Andrew was just getting better at hiding it, but now. Now he wonders.

Andrew looks at him, but doesn't say a word, for once, just smiles at him.

The silence gives him too much time to think of how he hasn't looked Andrew in the eye at all recently.

Aaron breathes through the flare of anger, thinks of Katelyn out there with the rest of the Vixens, and focuses on the way Andrew is still fucking smiling at him.

But this isn't one of the manic grins of the last couple years.

"What's going on with your drugs?" Aaron blurts out and it's not what he meant to say. It's not _how_ he meant to say it.

Andrew raises his eyebrows. "Oh, you noticed. It's about time."

Aaron rolls his eyes. "Don't give me that shit. What happens when someone finds out you've been fucking with them?"

"I'm hurt," Andrew says blandly. "I am not doing anything I am not allowed to do." He chuckles. "Well, not much."

Aaron scoffs. "What does that even mean? Did you change something about your pills? Does Dobson know?"

Andrew stares at him for one long, long moment, the smile turning lopsided as he does so. Eventually, he hums noncommittally.

Aaron wants to tear his hair out. He wants him off the meds. He doesn't want him off the meds. "What did you do?" he asks in a hushed whisper, careful not to let any of the others milling about hear. "You know what'll happen if the ERC finds out."

"Nothing."

_"What?"_

If anything, Andrew looks even more amused. "I have a lower dosage now, Aaron. Didn't you hear? I'm coming off the happy pills."

"No!"

What.

"Yes."

Aaron narrows his eyes at him, thinks of Katelyn again. "How? Didn't you agree to twenty-four-hour supervision when you came off the meds?"

Andrew shrugs. "Bee was very persuasive, I suppose. Why, she even got a hold of Blackwell. You remember Blackwell, yes?" He doesn't even roll his eyes at Aaron's continued silence, but his expression still manages to radiate exasperation. "There is a different agreement now. I come off the meds slowly and outpatient treatment during our break in December. Such fun."

"And you didn't think to tell any of us?"

"Why?"

He can already feel the headache he's going to get from grinding his teeth this much. "Right, I forgot. You don't talk about anything," he says, the words practically spilling out of him.

And that's not fair. A dim, distant part of his brain is telling him that's not fair. He hasn't been fair. He's not stupid, he knows this. Drugged or not, it's unfair to demand answers from Andrew like this.

But it's hard to remember it whenever he opens his mouth, through the haze of dark anger and dread and fear that overtakes him, through how he can still see that parking lot behind his eyelids. The words spill out of him every time, meant to hurt before he can be hurt.

He's waiting for Andrew to tell him this. Maybe they'll actually punch each other for once in their miserable lives, finally let it all out.

And still, all Andrew says is, "Now, you're getting it."

"But Josten knows everything."

Andrew doesn't answer. And that's an answer in itself, isn't it?

Aaron scoffs, packing as much disdain into the noise as he can. "He always knows everything about you these days, huh? Every little secret." Andrew's expression, the way it shifts and the smile slips away, is also a warning in itself. But Aaron can't heed it. "He knew all about _him_ already. Why him, Andrew? Is there something I should know about our deal."

Andrew laughs.

He's going to grind his teeth down to dust.

"Aaron! You're in for Nicky!" Wymack's voice interrupts before either of them can say anything else, unexpected enough that Aaron jumps where he's sitting.

"This conversation isn't over, Andrew," he says as he grabs his helmet.

He's just about run into Nicky on his way out when Andrew answers, voice pitched loud enough for Nicky to hear, "Oh, I'm sure."

Nicky gives him a questioning look, but Aaron waves him off and makes his way onto the court. He's noticed the way Nicky's been hovering over Andrew lately anyway, so he leaves him to it.

Time to get some aggression out.

-

Dan's been pays too much goddamn attention to them after that argument in the hallway.

Aaron doesn't know what she heard, or what Nicky or even Josten told her, but it's caught her attention.

And it's annoying as hell.

So he's not surprised when she makes an offhanded comment after the game about celebrating. Josten agrees immediately and that has Nicky backing him up, and there comes what's actually a surprise: Andrew doesn't say a word, looking nothing but amused the whole time. And that's how they end up in one of the basement study rooms.

He wants to complain. He really, really does. But a handful of the Vixens--Katelyn--are there and Andrew barely even looks at her and.

And. Fuck. She wants to go and he _wants_ to spend more time with Katelyn.

So picking their argument back up waits.

The next morning finds Nicky wandering over to the upperclassmen "just for a bit" and Kevin sleeping off his hangover in the bedroom. So Aaron takes his chance.

He goes to Andrew where he's perched smoking, his leg bouncing, on the desk by the window and Andrew doesn't look at him, but he doesn't tell him to fuck off. So that's a start.

"Our deal," Aaron says by way of greeting, his arms crossed. "Is there something I should know about it."

The drugs don't let Andrew ignore him for long, but it's much longer than he would have been able to before, until Andrew's taking another drag off his cigarette and turning his head to face Aaron. "You're dating the cheerleader."

Aaron scowls. No, he thinks this is one question he'll wait out.

At his continued silence, Andrew huffs. "Oh, Aaron. Aaron. You thought I didn't know?"

Not exactly.

"You're dating the cheerleader," he repeats, pointing at him with his cigarette. "So now, so sad, you want to break the deal you barely even kept to before. That's it, isn't it?"

That's it? _That's_ what he's going to say?

"What about you and Josten?!" he shoots back. "Aren't you breaking the deal, too?"

"Hm, Neil and me. Me and Neil." Andrew puts out his cigarette against the windowsill. "We're breaking the deal?"

"Yes! And you know it, Andrew. Don't think I haven't noticed the way you keep sneaking away with him." And he does _not_ want to think about what all that sneaking off entails. Jesus, this means Andrew's into guys, doesn't it? He hasn't even spared a thought for that. "And he already knew everything about... about _that_ guy?! What the fuck, Andrew?"

"Oh, right," he says, all fake surprise. "You're still mad I won't cry into your shoulder over that." He sneers. "I don't care. Why do you?"

And that's not what this conversation is supposed to be _about,_ he tells himself, except. Except it's all tied together for him right now, isn't it? It's all that's been bouncing around and around and around in his head since that day with Uncle Luther and Aunt Maria.

Fine.

"If he was hurting you," Aaron bites out, and every word feels like poison coming out of him.

"Hurting me? How very nonspecific of you."

"If he was hurting you," Aaron says in a louder voice. "Why didn't you just come with us when I contacted you? You could have gotten away, Andrew!"

Andrew taps a thumb against his lower lip. "You know it was already too late by then, don't you?"

Yeah, and that's the problem, isn't it. The now familiar agitation floods his veins again. "But it could have _stopped!_ It didn't have to go on!"

"So your mother could start with her version of it?" Andrew says, oh so quietly.

Aaron bristles. No, no. Not this now. "She wasn't like that. Not like him!"

"Oh, are you going to stop being vague now? Tell me, what was it she did different?"

"Shut up! Don't bring her into this," he hisses. "Not you."

"You can't say it. What a pity." Andrew sighs. "You don't want me to talk about dear dead Tilda. But wasn't she who you wanted me to live with?" The smile he aims at Aaron now is grotesque. "As far as I know, you didn't live alone in that apartment."

"Shut the fuck up," he says, squeezing his hands into fists to keep them from shaking. "This isn't about her and you don't get to bring her into this!"

Andrew laughs. "You can't change the past, brother," he says and laughs again, louder this time. "Well, usually!"

Aaron scoffs in disgust.

But Andrew only shrugs, seemingly unconcerned. "I'm not going to cry into your shoulder, Aaron. Let's just get that part straight." He gestures between himself and Aaron. "And I don't care that you're dating the cheerleader. Do what you want."

Aaron blinks, thrown.

Just like that? All of that run around and... just like that?

There's a light feeling in his chest that he ruthlessly shoves down. No.

But this is what he wanted to hear. Right? He shouldn't question it. He should just let it go, but.

"Are we breaking the deal?" he asks carefully. "Has this whole conversation just been you being difficult about it?"

"Oh, Aaron, I'm always difficult. I'm disappointed you don't know that already."

"Andrew."

Andrew doesn't answer.

Andrew grasps for something to say that isn't an incoherent yell.

"I want to bring her to my dorm," he say, testing. Because why the hell should Andrew get to do whatever he wants.

"Do you?"

"Yes," he says, voice hardening. "But I don't want to bring her around with you here."

Andrew huffs out a laugh. "And what do you plan to do about it? Kick me out? Or... Oh." The smile slips off his face, his expression turning considering. "Oh, yes, that would do it, I suppose. But before even Christmas? Hm."

God, he hates when he starts babbling nonsense. "What the hell are you talking about?"

Andrew shrugs, still enough now to remind Aaron those pills are on their way out. "Will you be the one getting kicked out to stay with the cheerleader, then? Go bother the Vixens instead?"

 _Go bother the Vixens_ while Josten keeps wandering into their dorm like he owns the place. Right. Sure. That's totally fair.

Actually...

Aaron shakes his head. "No. Since you're so damned cozy with Josten, why don't I switch rooms with him?"

"Oh? So, it is," Andrew says, like he's making any goddamn sense at all. "Do as you wish, Aaron. I won't bother to stop you."

Andrew grabs his carton of cigarettes and hops off the desk then, signaling the end of this bizarre conversation. Because he's a fucking asshole.

Whatever. He's got something he needs to do if he's going to switch rooms.

-

It takes him a full goddamn hour to find Josten and, by then, his mind's made up. Fuck him and fuck his brother for breaking their deal like Andrew wasn't the one who made trying to go out with Katelyn last year a living hell. Like Andrew didn't make trying to go out with _anyone_ in high school a living hell.

Of course he lets him break it the second some guy catches his eye, the hypocrite.

And since when is Andrew into guys anyway? Is that something he should have known? Because he really doesn't want to think about it, actually. Fuck no.

Christ, first Nicky and now him.

He corners Josten right by the doors to Fox Tower in the empty lobby and, before he can overthink it, crowds him up against the wall.

"What do you want with my brother, Josten?"

He raises an eyebrow at Aaron, in the exact same way Andrew likes to do.

Ugh.

"What do I want with your brother? Is there something I should want with him?" he asks, because Josten has to be just as difficult as Andrew.

"Don't give me that! I'm not stupid. I _know_ what you two get up to." He has an idea, anyway.

Josten raises both his eyebrows at Aaron now. "What we get up to?"

Dust. His teeth will be _dust_ by the end of the year. "So you showed up out of nowhere this summer," he goes on, ignoring that. "And suddenly you and my brother were the best of friends, right?"

Josten stares at him.

So Aaron doesn't hold back. "How do I know you won't fuck my brother over? Hell, how do I know you haven't already, when he's fucking high all the time?"

All at once, Josten's carefully neutral expression hardens.

"Fuck you," he grits out. "I'd never."

Aaron isn't moved. "And how am I supposed to know that! None of us know shit about you!"

"This team knows more about me than almost anyone else," Josten says tightly. "Andrew knows more about me than just about anyone else. If you don't trust me, trust him."

"When he's like that?" Aaron scoffs. "You really think--" He cuts himself off. "After everything, I'm not just going to let..."

"Everything?" Suddenly, Josten's eyes clear. "This is about Drake."

"Don't say that name!"

"I don't want to talk about him any more than you do, Aaron," Josten says. "But do you think I can't tell what this is about?"

Aaron can only glare.

"Hey, Aaron," Josten says, something about his voice changing, turning slower in a way that has Aaron's hackles rising. "What would you have done if you'd known? In that parking lot."

If he'd known? _If he'd known?_

"Killed him," he says, half honest, half hoping to finally scare Josten off for good. He doesn't care which feeling is stronger right now.

He doesn't recognize his own voice.

But Josten doesnt look surprised. He only nods like he expected that damn answer, and says, "Good." He purses his lips. "I'd do the same if I could," he says, and it feels like a peace offering, but Aaron's not taking it.

Josten doesn't seem to expect him to take it anyway. "You know Drake's mother was going to be his family, right? She was going to adopt Andrew."

Now what the hell is he going on about? This is old news. "She didn't."

Josten nods, his face entirely too damn blank. "She didn't," he agrees. "And she'd probably never even want to look at him again, if you got your way with Drake."

"She shouldn't even look at him now!" Aaron explodes, the words out before he can stop them, even if he wanted to stop them. "Her shitty fucking son." He stops, choking on the words. He still doesn't know for sure. He still knows too little. He still knows too much, so much he wishes he could physically shred the knowledge. "He hurt Andrew. And did she even know? Did she ever do anything to stop it?!"

There's so much understanding in Josten's expression that Aaron wants to puke. It wasn't supposed to go like this.

Josten leans forward, just an inch, and looks Aaron straight in the eye. "Remember how that feels," he whispers. "Because now you know why he killed your mother."

Aaron freezes.

He's stuck. Stuck, stuck, stuck to the floor.

No.

Fuck this.

With a snarl, he pushes himself off the wall and back and throws his key at Josten.

This isn't how he meant to do this, but he doesn't care. He can't get away fast enough.

Josten catches it, blue eyes widening in surprise. "What..." He opens his hand and looks down and away, then double takes. "Is this the key to your dorm?"

"Got it in one," Aaron snaps.

Josten stares at him with his stupid face. "You're giving this to me now? Why?"

Maybe he'll regret this choice next week, when it isn't spiteful anger fueling him, but the less he thinks right now, the better.

"Yes, now." What kind of question is that? He glares at Josten. "I'm goddamn tired of you assholes and I want to be able to bring Katelyn to my dorm without her having to deal with Andrew!" He sniffs. "Figured since you and him are so _close_ now, you wouldn't mind. I'm going to be watching you though. If you fuck with my brother..."

Josten bares his teeth at him in a smile that could rival one of Andrew's old ones. "Just watch me."

"Hey, Aaron," Josten calls as Aaron's pushing past him toward the elevators.

Reluctantly, Aaron looks over his shoulder at him.

Josten waits, then shrugs. "Have you thought about maybe sitting in on some of Andrew's sessions with Betsy?"

The hell?

"No. I don't talk to Dobson."

"Yeah, neither do I. But I talked to Katelyn. She thinks it's a good idea."

Excuse him?! 

"Stay the hell away from Katelyn."

Josten shrugs again. "She's gonna suggest it."

The elevator dings and Aaron takes his chance to get the fuck out before he tries to rearrange Josten's face.

He needs to move his stuff.

-

Aaron takes Katelyn as his date to the Christmas banquet and scoffs internally to himself when both Andrew and Josten say they don't have dates.

Sure. Treat everyone like idiots. See if he gives a shit.

At least they're not seated with the goddamn Ravens this time and he can maybe, possibly actually have a good time with Katelyn without the endless Fox drama.

If only.

Everything's fine at first. They're going to the spring championships, the Ravens aren't bothering them, and no one's started a fight. They're doing okay.

Of the group from Palmetto, he and Katelyn are the first to hit the dance floor and it's... it's good. She's smiling just for him and he's sure he looks so damn stupid smiling straight back at her, but he can't bring himself to give a shit. Not when Katelyn's right there with her arms around him, and Aaron's holding on right back, and no one, not even his brother, can try to tear them apart now.

But it never lasts. There's always _something._

He's just not sure whether to blame Kevin or Josten or Riko this time.

Maybe he can just go with blaming Josten, for consistency's sake.

Because it's Neil Josten who starts arguing loudly with Riko Moriyama right in the middle of the goddamn Christmas banquet. And it's Neil Josten who stands there and doesn't lift a single finger as _Allison_ takes a swing at Riko--okay, it's a damn impressive punch--and it ends with the three of them having to be pulled apart by the coaches.

He and Katelyn make it back just in time to see Andrew hauling Josten off all the way to the Home benches. A grumbling Wymack follows them, Allison tall and unrepentant behind him.

Josten doesn't complain and Andrew doesn't say anything while Wymack speaks. Or while Matt tells them _Allison hit Riko while Josten egged her on._

"Shut up," Wymack tells Nicky, who's way too goddamn excited, then turns back to Josten and Allison. "I'm waiting. How'd this start?"

Allison scoffs.

Aaron looks at Andrew in time to see him giving Josten an unimpressed look that he shrugs at.

"I couldn't just listen to him say that," he mutters. "And Allison backed me up."

Andrew somehow manages to look even more unimpressed, even through whatever dosage he's on now.

Wymack groans. "And what, exactly, could you not listen to him say? You can't just let him provoke you every time!" He rounds on Allison. "And you know better than to go with every stupid thing one of the rest of you does, Reynolds!"

She does not, but Aaron's not going to remind him.

Allison sniffs. "He deserved it," she says and doesn't elaborate.

Josten looks at Andrew again. Andrew flicks a hand at him and turns around, walking toward the exit, alone.

A brief pause and Josten sighs, setting his elbows on his knees. "You... know about what happened when we went to see Nicky's family, right?"

"I have an idea," Wymack says. "Mostly what you bozos kept yelling at each other about." And whatever Nicky told the upperclassmen he's such good friends with now, Aaron's sure. "I don't need to know the whole story."

Josten nods, satisfied. "The person we ran into that day," he says, like that's even close to the truth. _Ran into._ "He wasn't supposed to leave California. He was being investigated for something pretty serious. But he has a 'friend' who was trying to buy off a few people for him." And here he looks straight at Aaron and Nicky, his lips pressed together in a thin line. "It's Riko."

Katelyn's hand tightens around Aaron's, but he barely feels it. He barely even notices the way the upperclassmen go still, glancing between them and Andrew warily.

"No," Aaron chokes out. "No."

"I'm going to kill him," Nicky says, his voice shaking, and he agrees.

Oh, he agrees, now more than ever. It's only Katelyn's hand in his, the way she steps even closer to him and whispers his name in concern, that keeps him from turning right back around and taking out on Riko what he couldn't on Drake Spear.

"Trust me, I feel the same way," Josten mutters.

The words get stuck in his throat then. He hates this, he hates this so much, until he finally manages to grit out, "How did you know about that in the first place?"

Josten doesn't answer him, his eyes once again on where Andrew's standing.

"Josten."

"Not now."

The others interrupt and Aaron doesn't get the chance to give Josten a peace of his mind. There's talk of beating Riko at his own game and humiliating him then, but Aaron doesn't listen.

It makes sense, it's the easiest way to get him and the rest of the Ravens off their backs for good. He can concede that someone so obsessed with a sport that he'd pull this kind of shit can best be stopped through that same sport.

But he can't think about it right now. All he can look at is his brother standing on the other side, all he can feel is the fire in his veins.

"Renee," he manages to hear Wymack say, the sound of Kevin and Josten arguing in French somewhere in the background. "Go get Nicky's date. We're getting out of here before someone tries to take Riko's head off."

Actually, that's a great idea. Aaron does, in fact, want to turn around and _take Riko's head off._ He can see how Nicky's struggling to keep it moving toward the exit rather than the dance floor as well. But he lets Katelyn pull him on the bus, Nicky behind them, and he lets her pull his head against her shoulder on their seat.

Fuck, he's going to kick Riko's sorry ass on the court.

* * *

Sometimes, when this time of year rolls around, he still wakes up expecting to see the walls of Evermore, and to see Jean and Riko when he wakes.

It was only two (three) weeks, only one year, but it's still... It's still there sometimes, there in the back of his head.

He hates it.

It shouldn't still bother him. It barely even compares to what happened in the spring after that.

But that night, it's still with a fierce sort of satisfaction that Neil tears up the plane ticket Jean gave Kevin. He ignores the way his hands shake as he lets the pieces fall off the roof of Fox Tower.

Andrew doesn't say a word. But where he's sitting beside him pressed together thigh to thigh, Neil can feel the way the tension drains from his shoulders, and the way he falls into more of a relaxed stance, closer to what Neil got used to seeing over the years. All the more pronounced now for the way he's so close to leaving those drugs behind for good.

Almost. Andrew's almost free. That, his warm presence beside him even this late in the year, it's the only reason he can even tear up this plane ticket.

And he's grateful, so grateful, that the extra time means Betsy thought to give Andrew options and more privacy this time. It just figures that Riko would try to find a way to screw Andrew over when getting off the meds anyway and he can only be grateful they can dodge it.

"What did he threaten me with this time?" Andrew asks blandly.

Neil spares a moment to watch the pieces flutter the rest of the way to the ground, then lifts a shoulder in a shrug that's astronomically more casual than he feels. "Nothing too different. He's still paying someone in Easthaven."

"Hm." He thinks Andrew will leave it at that but, just as Neil's deciding on what to say next, he says, no inflection to his voice, "How, pray tell, did he plan to pull that one off. I'd be leaving at the end of every day."

"Money," Neil says dryly. He sighs. "Riko wasn't specific on what he was supposed to do to you. Different than last time, I guess, but still..." He glares down at the parking lot.

But still bad.

"Too sad for him. I'm not going to Easthaven."

Neil lets out a long breath. Two weeks of outpatient treatment in December, in another hospital entirely, and Andrew will be free by the new year. He'll have to thank Betsy later, for convincing Waterhouse and Blackwell to keep that little detail under wraps.

"Yeah." Neil huffs out a laugh. "Yeah, he's going to be so fucking mad." It means having their guard up when all the Foxes return from their vacations, but for now... "Maybe we can have a nice Christmas this time."

"Group therapy on the holidays," Andrew deadpans. "Wonderful."

Neil snorts. There hasn't been a single year that Neil has known Andrew where he's cared that much about what he does on the days leading up to Christmas, but he can see why he might not care _for_ this particular one. "I'll play hooky with you every other day," he says. "Betsy doesn't have to know."

"Sure. Good luck with that."

It's fine. It would have been nice to go to New York this year, but there will be other years.

"You will have have to babysit Kevin."

"I wasn't aware Kevin needed babysitting. Isn't he older than us?"

Andrew fixes him with what's almost an exasperated look. "Not anymore."

Neil smiles slightly. It's a familiar argument by now, how though they've always been the two youngest of their group of Foxes _("Aaron is less than ten minutes older, Neil.")_ , they're technically the oldest now.

Or at least, that's Andrew's argument.

"We've still been sent back to our younger selves," he points out. "I can't do all the plays I used to over the years yet. My body just won't let me do some of them yet and I know it's the same for you. That has to mean something."

"Not what matters. We're in different shape. It's not amnesia." Andrew scoffs.

"Yeah, we still remember everything, but we're still not the same as we were all those years in the future." He frowns. "Past." He shrugs. That's still kind of too big a thing to spend too much time thinking about.

"Knowing what we know hasn't always helped us anyway," Neil says quietly.

Andrew looks up at him sharply, that little divot back between his brows. "Neil. Don't."

The light mood falls away and Neil's more than a little disappointed to see it go, to be reminded of _why_ they can't relax for long right now.

Neil sighs. "I know. But..." Andrew doesn't blame him. He knows this well and good. But. "I'm sorry," he blurts out. "I'm sorry. I'm still sorry you even had to hear his voice."

Andrew shakes his head, reaching out to lay one firm hand on the back of Neil's neck. It helps. "Stop blaming yourself already. That's not what I care about now."

"What?"

"It's easier to think clearly now. Most of the time," he murmurs, then falls silent.

Neil waits for him to elaborate.

"I can think about other things now."

"Right," he says, encouraging, when Andrew still doesn't explain.

Andrew turns his heavy-lidded gaze on him, both eyebrows raised now. "You." He snorts, like he can tell just what Neil's about to say to _that_ and presses the thumb of his free hand to the corner of his own mouth. "We have to deal with your father."

Neil grimaces.

Oh. That's what he was getting at.

"My father won't be out of jail for months."

Andrew stares at him.

Neil doesn't roll his eyes. He's just worried, even if he won't want to say it. Neil knows this. So, "I know," he says softly. "I promise I'm not trying to ignore it. In the new year, all right? I need to see if Riko retaliates when he realizes he failed with you."

"Hm."

"I'm serious. I'm not going to forget about you just because we got past that part."

Andrew pulls his hand back. "Still such a martyr," he says.

"Nah. You know I'm staying alive no matter what now. I have to stick around long enough to die of old age."

Andrew stares at him again, his eyes searching. He seems to find what he's looking for because he lets out a soft sigh and reaches out to let his hand hover under Neil's chin.

"You had better." Something about the look in his eyes softens. "Yes or no, Neil?"

"Yes," Neil breathes and lets Andrew push him down onto the roof and make him forget about everything else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More specific warnings: Drake is here, briefly, but he and Andrew are never alone together. Through witnessing the argument with the Hemmicks, Aaron more or less puts together that Drake abused Andrew and spends a lot of time thinking about it in non-explicit terms, swinging between thinking about it and not wanting to believe it, mostly.
> 
> He also doesn't relay most of what the Hemmicks say to Nicky in his narration.


	5. Dan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: I beliiieeeeve that other than some references to the events of the last couple chapters, this one's pretty much warning-free. Some canon-typical attitudes re: Andrew and his medication, mostly. But feel free to let me know if I forgot anything!

Wymack tells her the day of the Christmas banquet, in his office right before they're set to get on the bus, and Dan has to try very, very hard not to let her apprehension show.

"Is that really a good idea, Coach?" she asks as delicately as she can.

"Doesn't matter if it is," Wymack says. "Betsy and the attorneys signed off on it, it's decided. By the time you assholes all get back, he'll be off those pills and our problem again."

Dan thinks, thinks real carefully, before speaking again

_Destructive and joyless,_ was it? Neil said he didn't believe it, but unlike his brother and cousin, Neil's never seen Andrew completely sober. Not to mention Neil's obvious blind spot for Andrew.

And she doesn't want to doubt Coach or even Betsy, but.

It's complicated.

Even with the weird hold Neil's got on him, it's _Andrew._

She sighs. A lot of things make sense, knowing this. It definitely explains a lot about Andrew's recent, not quite mellow, but much less manic, behavior, if he's been reducing the dosage of his medication for a while now. Explains a few things about Neil, too.

Did he know about this when he switched rooms with Aaron? Is that the reason in the first place?

Or is it just what Allison thinks?

(Though she's... not sure how she feels about Allison's theory just yet.)

"I guess that explains why Neil won't go with Matt for Christmas," she mutters, then clarifies, at Wymack's raised eyebrow. "I mean, even though Nicky and Aaron are going. All he told Matt was that he needed to stay with Kevin and Andrew."

Wymack grunts. "That one's above my paygrade, Dan."

"Right."

She slumps forward on Wymack's desk, tapping a finger against her cheek as he finishes gathering up the last of their paperwork for the year. All right. So. Sober Andrew. Completely sober Andrew. That's a thing they'll have to deal with soon. And only time will tell how cooperative he's going to feel.

"How do we know he'll even play?" she settles for asking, instead of the million questions she's got bouncing around her head right now.

"We don't," Wymack says wryly. "I've got no fucking clue how he's gonna come back. But he's behaving himself so far." He rolls his eyes. "Or as much as that little asshole can behave, anyway. We'll have to wait and see. Maybe he can put in some real effort if everything stops boring him without those meds."

God but she hopes so. They've still got a rematch with the Ravens looming ahead of them, and they can't afford to let their performance slip this late in the game.

Maybe it'll be fine, if it's Betsy who's in charge of this whole thing. Andrew's got a soft spot for her, judging by how many figurines Dan's seen in her office that just happen to match the ones she's seen in airport gift shops that Andrew's wandered into--not that she's ever telling anyone she's noticed--not to mention that nickname he's got for her.

He'll listen to her, right? If he's not high off his mind all the time?

God, he better. Or he better at least listen to Neil. Because she does not want to have to interfere.

Just as much as she knows she will interfere if she has to.

Oh, the next semester is going to be such a blast.

-

Nicky bullies Neil into texting them all at least once a day during break. And it helps. Dan definitely feels a hell of a lot better hearing from him every day and, from Matt's texts and calls to her, so does he. She knows he's been worried ever since Neil switched rooms with Aaron all of a sudden. It doesn't help that neither of them ever gave much of an explanation for that beyond Aaron mumbling something about Katelyn and some less than polite remarks about Neil. None of which really helped any of them understand anything.

From Neil's texts, Dan gets that Kevin's been dragging him back to the court almost every other day and she has to suppress a groan at the thought. This was why she wanted them to leave South Carolina for the holidays.

At least they weren't staying at Abby's house just minutes away from the court, though being so far from it had to be driving Kevin nuts.

And on the reason Neil stayed behind, even though he's mostly just danced around that being it? On the topic of Andrew himself? Neil's been mostly, frustratingly silent. An offhanded comment here and there on Kevin complaining about Andrew eating too unhealthily, a mention of a movie they watched in that house in Columbia. It's all been little things like that and not much more.

The ever-continuing mystery of Neil and Andrew that even Matt's months as Neil's roommate didn't clear up.

Dan finally asks three days after Christmas.

_u ok?_ she texts him that afternoon, around the time she knows Andrew's back in the house.

Though she does only know that from some of Kevin's grumbling texts about Neil and Andrew living in each other's pockets during the vacation instead of practicing more.

_Yes, we're ok,_ he sends back, always so proper while texting.

_either of those two giving u too much trouble? hows andrew doing?_

Is that too obviously fishing? That's probably too obvious. To hell with it, no backing out now.

_He's all right,_ Neil answers her without missing a beat. As much as he can when he always types so slowly on that damn flip phone anyway. _Everything is going well with him. Should I tell him you asked?_

Cheeky little shit.

_nah! just haven't heard much about that! it was nice of you to stay with him :)_

Now he'll definitely be able to tell she's fishing for info, but he doesn't call her on it.

_It's not a big deal. I just wanted to be there for him,_ Neil texts and Dan lets out an involuntary sound of surprise. Surprisingly candid, for Neil. _How are things there?_

And that's as much questioning as she gets in, which is... still more than she expected.

Baby steps.

Maybe it's for the best, anyway. If she's honest with herself, she can admit that she loves Neil--really!--but she wouldn't trust a word of his assessment of Andrew's mental state through that five foot tall blind spot of his.

-

Dan, Allison, and Renee return to Palmetto the day after Matt and his New York trip, the day after Neil, Andrew, and Kevin as well.

Matt picks them up at the airport and she can practically feel the apprehension radiating off of him. It's not unlike what she feels, not unlike what she's sure Allison feel, maybe even Nicky and Aaron.

"How was New York?" Renee asks cheerfully, like nothing's happened. She isn't worried at all.

Matt laughs quietly. "Pretty good. Nicky and Aaron really aren't so bad. And Nicky's boyfriend--he surprised Nicky there--he's really great, too! I can see why Nicky won't shut up about him now."

Allison snorts. "Cute," she says dryly. At Matt's questioning hum, she says, "That you made friends with Nicky and now you're trying to steal his boyfriend."

Dan bursts out laughing and glances at the rearview mirror in time to see Renee hiding a smile behind her hand. "Hey, hey! I wasn't consulted on this! Tell me he's handsome, at least."

Matt holds out only a moment, staring out the dashboard, before he cracks and says, "Okay. Okay! Yeah. He is. I have to hand it to Nicky, he's got great taste. I don't know where the hell in Germany he found that man, but _whew,_ guys."

Dan laughs again as Allison leans back smugly in her seat. "We're inviting him to the next group vacation. This, I gotta see." Allison wastes absolutely no time in changing the subject, just a tinge of wariness to her voice now. "Anyway, speaking of Cousin Monster and his boyfriend, how's the Original Monster doing now, Matt?"

There's no answer at first, the smile slipping off Matt's face. Dan looks at him questioningly from the passenger seat, but he only shakes his head and smiles again, a little uncertainly now. "Neil keeps saying he's good, but I'm not gonna lie to you, guys. It's fucking weird."

"What do you mean?" Renee asks. "Is he unwell? He seemed all right when he texted me."

"Fuck, I forgot you actually talk to him," Allison says, earning herself a mildly disapproving look from Renee, which she shrugs at. "What?"

Renee shakes her head, though she looks more fondly exasperated than anything. "Go on, Matt," she says.

"I just mean Andrew's like... He's not smiling? Shit, I know that's a weird thing to point out, but it stands out! And, like, he's just..." He gestures at his own face. "He's just got this look on his face all the time, except it's not even a look, it's just fucking blank. Bored, sometimes. And he barely talks now. It's weird."

Dan grimaces. "Weird after he spent a year and a half smiling creepily and talking everyone's ears off, you mean?" Well, not Dan's ear, or that of most of the people in this truck, not when he liked ignoring them so much. But they could still hear him.

Allison hums thoughtfully. "So we're getting a quiet monster now? Sounds good to me." Through the rearview mirror, Dan sees her wrinkle her nose. "Ugh. Unless he's quiet and homicidal now.

"It won't be a dramatic change," Renee says gently. "Doctor Dobson was weaning him off the medication, remember? By the time we last saw him, he was just about off it."

"I guess," Dan says dubiously. She hopes Renee is right, but she's learned to stop hoping for anything to go as it should when it comes to Andrew. "You and Neil can probably run interference if we need it."

Renee shrugs. "Oh, I'm sure neither of us will need to."

"Neil," Matt says, drumming his fingers against the wheel. "Man, I tried so hard to get him to come up to New York, too, but he wouldn't leave Kevin and Andrew."

"Kevin doesn't want to be alone right now, you know that," Renee points out. "And Andrew was going to be too busy to watch over him. It was a good solution."

"Uh, yeah, but I invited Kevin to come up to New York, too. If Andrew could let go of him long enough to go to the hospital every day, he could let go of him when he'd have had me, Aaron, Nicky, _and_ Neil watching him, right?"

Renee leans forward from the seat behind Matt's until she can get a good look at him. "Maybe Neil didn't want to leave Andrew alone either while he was recovering. I think that's very sweet of him."

"Well, Neil's a nice guy, right? Makes sense."

Dan laughs and reaches out to rest her hand lightly on Matt's over the gear shift. It's sweet, the soft spot he's got for Neil. Not unlike the one she has for Neil.

It's just that it's funny, with how he doesn't seem to realize that Neil only extends that kindness of his to the Foxes. She's barely even seen him give the Vixens, besides Katelyn sometimes, the time of day.

But with the Foxes... Ha, she can see why Coach is thinking of making him vice-captain next year. It's the same reason she wants him to be her vice-captain.

Neil's a prickly little thing when he's not with them, but at the end of the day, that's fine. It all comes with the territory of being a Fox and she wouldn't have him any other way.

So, "Yeah, he is," she agrees, squeezing Matt's hand. She waits, lets the silence settle over the truck for a bit, then says, "Though I think he's just a little nicer with Andrew, babe."

That five foot tall blind spot of his again, she's sure.

Matt squeezes her hand in return. "Okay, yeah. He's a little nicer with Andrew! Still got no clue why!"

Dan shrugs. "Yeah, I seriously do not get what's up with them either. Not that I don't appreciate that Neil's convinced him to stop keeping such a short leash on the rest of the team, it's just that... It's Andrew!" she says, a familiar thought by now. "God, what's that whole thing of theirs even gonna look like when he's sober now?"

"Not much different than before, I'm sure," Renee says, ever the optimist when it comes to Andrew.

"So, show of hands," Matt says, failing to bite back a grin. "When we all thought it was a bad idea to leave him with just the monsters at the start of summer, who thought it'd end up being because he actually made friends with them? With Andrew, of all people?"

No one answers and Dan lasts all of a handful of seconds before she huffs out a laugh. "Man, it's been a wild year, all right."

Matt waggles his eyebrows. "Perfect for Captain Wilds."

She laughs again. "Matt! Seriously though. Seriously! It _has_ been wild. Those two are just the biggest mystery."

"It's just because they're fucking," Allison cuts in like it's obvious, the sneer on her face a clear _you blind fucking idiots._

"What?" Dan scoffs, twisting around in her seat to face her properly. "Allison. Where did that even come from?"

Allison only crosses her arms, eyebrows raised imperiously.

_Fucking?_ Neil and Andrew? Because... Okay. Okay, they've got some weird thing going on between them, obviously. They're weirdly intense and Neil somehow actually gets Andrew to do what he asks, with whatever weird hold it is he's got over him.

But fucking?

No.

How?

She glances at Matt, hoping he'll back her up. But he frowns and, much to her surprise, says, "Now that you mention it, I don't know. Maybe."

"Maybe?!" Dan says.

"Maybe!"

"How!"

"It's just... You've seen them, too! They've got... You know... It's a lot of intense eye contact!" he says defensively. "Who does that!"

"They do," Renee says, sounding very, very level and reasonable.

But Dan's known her too long not to hear the edge of amusement to her voice.

Aw, come on. Her, too?

"Come on!" Matt says. "You know what the monster's like. You'll lose a finger if you get too close. But he lets Neil get right in his face and talk to him all the time and sit with him on the bus and all the couches and..." He cuts himself off, frowning even more deeply now. "They're close?"

"Yeah, we know that, but..." Now it's her turn to frown. "But seriously, guys. They can't be fucking. It's Andrew and Neil! Why would the two of them... Do either of them even like guys?"

_And what about Renee?!_ she doesn't ask. Because Renee probably won't appreciate it.

But shit, shit. Wait. Renee didn't take Andrew as her date to either of the banquets this season. Does that mean something?

She knew she should have questioned Renee about it more the first time it happened. Now she just cheerfully changes the subject whenever anyone brings it up, but still acts just as close to Andrew as before, so it's not like they had a falling out or anything.

"Wanna bet?" Allison says and that's when Dan knows she's fucked.

Oh, this is going to be a _thing._ Allison is going to make it a _thing_. Worst of all is that Dan knows she won't deny her the opportunity.

She settles back in her seat and exchanges a look with Matt, who grins. "Okay," he says, then louder, "Okay, I'm in. You in, Dan?"

"I guess I am. What about you, Renee?"

"Oh no, I won't bet on this," Renee says breezily. "It wouldn't be right." She pauses. "Or fair."

So much for bonus insider knowledge.

Allison pays that no mind though when she leans forward again over Renee and grins at Dan. "Then we're on. Place your bets, fuckers."

-

They meet up with the others at the court and maybe it's just the high of making yet another bet, but there's much fewer wary looks exchanged this time.

Instead, there's just Neil and the monsters seated in the lounge like there's nothing out of the ordinary. Nicky's the first to spot them, greeting them cheerfully, and Dan leaves Matt and Renee to it.

She sees Matt high five Nicky out of the corner of her eye, Nicky letting out a surprised laugh and Aaron saying something she doesn't listen to. It's the couch Dan pays attention to, where the rest of them are.

There's Kevin, watching Nicky and Aaron. There's Neil, turning a small smile on Dan and Allison that she immediately returns. And there's Andrew, who's... fine? Ish?

Andrew doesn't pay them much attention, beyond vague acknowledging nods at the both of them and brief eye contact with Renee when she looks over, his attention on his phone for whatever reason.

He's not smiling. He's not talking anyone's ear off. He's just... there, sitting between Neil and Kevin.

Dan narrows her eyes, thinking, considering what she should say, but Allison beats her to the punch.

"So, here you are," she says, sounding almost bored. "All with us now?"

The murmur of voices in the lounge dies down.

She thinks Andrew will just ignore her at first, with the way he doesn't look up from his phone. But his fingers still on the keys of his phone and Neil's looking at him like he's waiting for him to speak.

Slowly, Andrew looks up. "Have I not been?" he asks and Dan blinks.

Nicky was right. He doesn't sound the way he did when he'd skip his meds, it's not the same. He sounds... flat? Mostly flat? Like if there's meant to be anything in that voice, it's behind a wall or three.

Weird.

He doesn't glare at Allison or any of them though, only looks on steadily. Bored.

Allison shrugs. "You could say that. So," she bulls on. "How is it, being back? You feeling all motivated now? Though..." She shifts on her feet, crossing her arms when Andrew only continues to stare at her, something expectant about the silence. "Shit, none of us knew you were already coming off those pills, but I guess we should've, huh? You were already acting all different, but I guess we just kind of chalked it all up to your new buddy Neil."

Nicky lets out a strangled little laugh.

Andrew doesn't answer this time, and Allison looks like she's about to keep prodding, but then Neil says something about Seth's banner in the court and Allison's off like a shot, not a single word more.

"...Good to see you all again," Dan settles for saying into the ensuing awkward silence.

Neil grins at her, the little shit.

So she grins back, naturally.

Anything else she may have wanted to say is interrupted by Abby dropping by briefly, then Wymack's entrance.

He turns a scrutinizing look on all of them and Dan moves to take a seat beside Matt, Renee settling on one of the armchairs.

"Where's Allison?" Wymack asks once he's looked at each and every one of them in turn. "Didn't she come with you?"

"She went to see the championship banners," Neil says. Nicky opens his mouth to speak, but Neil goes on like he hasn't noticed, "Someone should go get her. Nicky?"

"What?"

"Someone should go get Allison," Dan picks up for him. Why he's singled out Nicky she has no clue, but sure. Why not? "And let her know Coach is here. You should do it, Nicky."

Nicky scrunches his face up. "She's looking at Seth's banner."

"That's right," Matt says, voice just a touch strained.

"Seth. Who I didn't get along with." He throws his hands up when no one says anything to that. "We hated each other!"

Neil nods.

Dan bites her tongue on saying anything else about Seth. It's still... complicated. Difficult.

It still hurts to think about too much.

"Go get her already, Nicky. We don't have all day!" Wymack barks, waving a hand at him.

"Fine, fine!" Nicky says, launching himself out of his seat. "I'm going!"

Dan watches him go, frowning in earnest now. Huh, she sure hopes sending Nicky's a good idea.

She's been worried about Allison, no use denying it, and knows most--some?--of the others have been too. The way she's been alternating between acting like everything is fine and being blisteringly furious at Riko and the Ravens... It's a lot. And she's not sure how any of them can help her, if they even can.

She doesn't have much time to think about it. Before long, Nicky and Allison return, Allison's face arranged into the now familiar furious determination. 

"All right, let's do this," she says as she drops down into a seat, eyes on Wymack. "Who are we eliminating first?"

Wymack huffs out what's almost a laugh, if you're generous. Then it's time to talk spring championships.

-

Andrew at practice is... not very different from how he was before, Dan finds. He holds still more often, maybe.

Where before he'd shift from foot to foot in the goal, or wander from one end to the other of it, or bounce on the balls of his feet--all while putting in minimal effort to guard the goal--now he holds perfectly still in the goal. He just looks... bored.

But that's nothing completely unfamiliar either. It's more like how he'd act during their games, just with even less effort than he put in during them.

(That's an unfair thought, Dan acknowledges to herself, if a touch grudgingly. She remembers his performance during their game against Evermore, and remembers how he ran himself ragged while they had him playing full games. It isn't a fair thought.

He just puts in effort whenever he damn well feels like it.)

Still, nothing can go perfectly right with any of the Foxes, least of all Andrew.

Dan misses just what Kevin says that starts it all, but when she looks, she recognizes the edge to his voice and the way he clenches his jaw that means he's berating someone on their game--while standing by the goal.

And she recognizes the stiff set to Andrew's shoulders.

Oooh boy.

Andrew wouldn't hurt Kevin. They all know damn well and good what his promises of protection mean. Off the court, she'd say they get along as well as either of them can ever get along with anyone. But sometimes, it's hard to forget just how _furious_ Kevin has managed to make Andrew on the court. How he's threatened more than once to take himself off the court permanently.

So, yeah. Andrew wouldn't hurt Kevin, but it doesn't stop him from taking potshots.

And that's how their scrimmage suddenly has the new! And! Exciting! Addition of Andrew aiming every single shot at Kevin's, and only Kevin's, feet.

Dan almost misses the manic laughter. Without it, this is just... This is just eerie. Weird. Pettier than before. She doesn't know.

But what she does know is it'll probably be harder to cajole him into not doing it when no one can appeal to a nonexistent attention span anymore.

She looks to Wymack, trying to gauge whether this is one of those issues he'd like to deal with himself, per whatever agreement it is he's got going with Andrew, but he's looking at the benches instead of at them. So she squares her shoulders and makes to take a step toward Andrew and deal with it her damn self as the goddamn team captain.

The sound of the doors to the court opening interrupts her and, when she turns her head to look, there's Neil, geared up and back from the health center, Aaron not far behind. Except where Aaron's looking curiously at the paused scrimmage, Neil's heading straight toward the goal.

All right, cool. Or Neil can deal with this instead. That works, too. That's ideal, in fact.

Dan catches Neil's eye and gets a shrug and a tiny little smile in response, before he's quickly closing the distance between him and Andrew.

She doesn't quite catch the whole conversation. But she hears Neil exclaim, "Andrew. Seriously? Again?"

Dan's eyebrows fly up to her hairline. Again? Is this the kind of thing he pulls during their night practices, then?

Andrew doesn't answer, only stares at Neil in silence for one long, slow moment. Then he slowly lifts one shoulder in what could almost be called a shrug and says something Dan can't quite make out.

"...our teammates," she manages to hear from Neil and maybe, maybe she shifts so she's a little closer, somewhere just a little easier to hear.

She just... needs to be aware of any issues in her team.

Matt pretends not to see, trying not to call attention to her, but Aaron shoots her an exasperated look that tells her he knows exactly what she's doing.

Oh well. He can deal.

"I'm sure you think this is hilarious," Neil says, sounding amused himself. "But he'll stop. So, come on, we've got practice to get back to. "

Hilarious? A few months ago, yeah, she could see it. But it's hard to imagine this new blank-faced Andrew finding anything even the slightest bit amusing.

Much to her surprise, Andrew sighs and says, almost too quietly to hear, "What will you give me in return?"

Neil snorts out a laugh and, the smile evident in his voice, says, "Anything."

Anything.

Wait.

Wait, wait, wait.

There's a strangled sound of surprise stuck in her throat that she pushes down, down, down out of the way, because. No. No, it can't mean that.

No, Allison's just gotten into her head, that's all.

Matt catches her eye and raises his eyebrows at her significantly. She waves the look off.

Nah. Allison's just gotten into Matt's head, too. That's all.

Really.

Dan doesn't catch what Andrew asks for--anything?!--but he stops aiming the ball at Kevin's feet and. Okay.

Okay, good, she thinks, when she sees Kevin already back to normal like nothing happened, already yelling at Nicky about his footwork.

At the third time Andrew rebounds the ball to the other side of the court, when practice stops momentarily while a returning Allison and Renee get back on the court, she pats Neil on the shoulder and says, "Hey, good job with that, Neil."

Neil shakes his head, but she can see the slight curve to his lips through his helmet.

"No, seriously," Matt says, coming up behind her. "I don't think he'd have listened to any of us if we asked." He pauses. "What'd you do to get him to stop?"

"I asked," Neil says, very reasonably. And also absolutely lying.

"You asked, just like that? So just like you asked to invite us to Halloween? That's pretty cool, man. You just have to ask and he listens." Matt says, and it's just the slightest bit too sharp to come across as an earnest question.

Dan restrains herself from giving Matt a dirty look and spares a moment to be grateful Allison hasn't come close enough yet to realize what they're talking about. She loves them both, but. _Talk about unsubtle._

Neil, bless his oblivious little heart, doesn't seem to notice though, because he nods and says, "Yeah? I just asked him to give Kevin a break."

And offered _anything_ in return, she thinks, just a touch hysterically.

Anything!

For the sake of her wallet ("Nah, put me down for there's no way they're fucking," she said to Allison earlier in the day, like an idiot), she sets the thought aside for now.

It's fine. Everything is fine.

She keeps telling herself this as practice ends and she goes on to speak to Wymack. He asks about that little incident and after Matt, waiting for her by the door to the office, fills him in, all he has to say about it is a dryly amused, "This better not be a problem."

Dan groans.

Aw, shit.

-

Their worries aside, the amount of time Neil spends with them doesn't change once he switches rooms with Aaron. He still has dinner with them often, he still goes out with them often. Nothing seems to change at all, except for how he and Aaron seem to be avoiding each other. She doesn't even want to know why.

But he spends just as much time with the monsters, and just as much time making their two groups spend time together. He even pulled Dan and Matt aside one evening to encourage them to give Nicky, especially, a chance.

And it's... not so bad, actually. No one's gotten hurt yet, anyway.

Nicky drops by sometimes, both by Matt's dorm and by Dan's dorm, clearly desperate for friends who aren't his cousins or Kevin and exy, or just looking for Neil for whatever reason. He seems... livelier even, and more committed on the court, so Dan can't see a problem with it. He's not a bad guy to be around, she's finding, when he's not going along with everything his cousins want him to do.

And it's just.. hard to forget sometimes, how they even started spending time together, the reason Neil even encouraged them to. In the wake of that one dinner with his parents, where the lot of them came back in varying states of anger or distress, it's hard to forget how lost and upset Nicky had looked. How he'd quietly confessed that his father had known about someone hurting Andrew when he was younger and hadn't believed him.

The possibilities were grim, but none of them asked and he didn't volunteer any further details. It's part of being a Fox, respecting what they've all been through.

Best not to get knifed by Andrew because they know too much, anyway.

Still. Nicky alone would be enough, but the monsters keep showing up outside of practice and coincidental meetings in the halls.

Renee and Andrew still regularly disappear to beat the shit out of each other. And when Andrew lets Kevin out of his sight for a few minutes, Dan can't say she's completely surprised to see him tagging along with Neil or talking to Renee, or even Allison sometimes.

She sees a lot more of Aaron now, as Matt's roommate and he's... not awful either? Seeing Katelyn more regularly seems to make him chill out a little, at least.

But it's one mostly monster-free Wednesday night that it comes up. With Neil off at obsessive night practice with Kevin and Andrew, Nicky taking advantage of having an empty dorm room to Skype his boyfriend, and Aaron off at the library with Katelyn, Dan and the girls have piled into Matt's dorm. There's a movie Allison picked playing on the TV and Chinese takeout on the floor in front of the couch, where they've gathered in a loose semi-circle.

She's sitting between Matt's legs, her back pressed against his chest, and it's a good night. It's nice to have a quiet night like this sometimes.

Then Allison brings it up.

"So," she says, pointing at each of them in turn with her chopsticks. "We've had the monster completely, absolutely sober for over a week now. And he and Neil are just as weird and secretive and intense as always. Still feeling confident about your bets?"

Renee, who still refuses to place a bet, hums and covers an entirely too obvious smile with a sip of water.

So it's Matt who answers. "Yeah," he says, his hand finding Dan's. "Yeah, sorry, babe, I think you're gonna lose this one.

Dan sighs and very much does not say she's beginning to agree. "We'll see about that. None of you still have any proof they're anything but weirdly intense friends."

Friends. The monster with friends. Ain't that still a thought.

Allison huffs. "Please. You were Neil's roommate," she says, turning her attention to Matt. "And may I say that the _were_ part is key here. I don't buy that bullshit about it just being about Aaron's girlfriend for a second. So!" She leans back against one of the chairs and waggles her eyebrows. "You ever see anything? Any late night calls? Late night visits maybe?"

"Uh." Matt lets out a small, considering sound. "I thought I dreamed Andrew there with Neil one night?"

"Dreamed," Dan repeats and has to hold back a grin. "What kinda dreams are _you_ having?"

"No, no, no," Matt says on a laugh, shaking his head. "I think I saw Andrew there in the living room one night. But it was so damn late, I thought I dreamed it. Well, let's say I wanted to believe it." Deadpan, he says, "Then Neil told me I was dreaming. During the so-called dream."

Dan can't help it. She bursts into laughter, so hard she has to set down her food on the carpet before she spills it. "And you believed him."

Matt shrugs. "It seemed like a good idea at the time! I mean, look! What would you have thought? It's Andrew!"

"Not that I was dreaming!"

"Hold on, back the fuck up!" Allison says, holding up a hand. "Andrew was in your living room late at night? Doing what?"

"Hanging out? I don't really remem..." He trails off and Dan can practically hear the gears turning in his head. "They were on the couch, I think? Real cozy."

Allison's eyes just about bug out of her head, but she recovers quickly enough. "Ha! Of course they were!" she crows. She flicks a hand in Dan's direction. "We gotta get more people into this bet. It's way too stacked against Dan. Who is going to lose."

"Hey!" No way, she's still holding out hope here. Faint hope! "We still don't know anything."

"Whatever," Allison says. "We don't know, but it's looking real damn likely and--"

"Oh, Allison," Renee says suddenly, turning a smile on her and laying a gentle hand on her knee. "Didn't you say this was the part of the movie you most wanted to see?"

"Oh, fuck!" She pauses only long enough to give Renee a _look._ "Don't think I don't know what you're doing, Walker. You're lucky you're so sweet."

Renee only smiles.

-

Waiting in the airport for their flight to their first away game of the new year, Allison comes up out of nowhere and yanks Dan and Renee toward a row of seats. She sprawls out in one of the middle seats and pulls Renee down to sit beside her and at her, "Well, what are you waiting for," Dan takes the open seat beside a smiling Matt.

Oh, they're up to something.

"What did you do?" Dan asks.

"What makes you think I did something?" Allison asks, haughty, at the same time as Matt huffs out a laugh. With a flourish, she gestures to where Neil and Andrew are standing by the gate, next to the floor to ceiling windows.

Where Neil and Andrew are looking intently at each other as they speak. With the matching coats Nicky got them for Christmas, it certainly makes for... a picture.

The way they're shorter than all the people who walk past helps, too. Ha.

"Intense eye contact," Allison says.

"Intense eye contact," Matt agrees.

Dan sighs.

Renee taps a finger against her cheek. "They're just talking."

"Uh huh," Allison says. She leans back in her seat and, "Hey, Hemmick!" she calls out.

Nicky, currently walking behind their chairs with Kevin in tow, stops abruptly and, "Yes, you awful, terrible woman?" he says cheerfully.

Business as usual. They alternate between sniping at each other and acting like the best of friends these days and Dan's given up on trying to understand.

"Look at that," Allison says, nodding toward where Neil and Andrew have barely moved an inch.

Nicky looks up, following her gaze. "Ah, blatant favoritism," he says, shaking his head. "You know he barely talks even to the rest of us? But Neil talks and he's there listening and telling him whatever he wants. I'd be jealous, but..."

"Well, it's a good thing he talks to someone, since he's so determined to ignore the rest of us," Kevin cuts in. "At least Neil can get him to take things seriously sometimes."

"Right," Nicky says vaguely. Without looking away from Neil and Andrew, he asks the lot of them, "So, what's up with you guys anyway? Are we just Neil and Andrew-watching right now?"

"Something like that," Dan says and gets a scoff from Kevin in response.

"What's so interesting about this?" he says. "They do this all the time."

"That, they do," Nicky agrees.

"The intense eye contact," Allison says with what Dan's sure she thinks is a sage and all-knowing nod.

Matt mimics her.

"What about it?" Kevin asks dubiously.

"We've got a bet going on whether it all means they're hooking up," Allison says, blunt as ever. She clicks her tongue. "Or whether they're dating, I guess."

Nicky makes a noise Dan isn't entirely sure is human. "And you didn't tell me you bet on this?! Me?!" He pauses. "Oh, Andrew's going to be so pissed."

"I'm telling you now, asswipe. Listen to me!" She sits up straight in her seat again, looking for all the world like a queen on her throne. "You know the bet now. What d'ya say about getting in on this one, Nicky?"

He hesitates just long enough that Allison looks over her shoulder at him this time. "What? Don't wanna bet? Or, ooh, do you have insider knowledge? Have you been holding out on us, Hemmick?"

"Uh." Nicky holds his hands up, speaking quickly. "Not exactly! It's just that Andrew's Andrew, you know? I can't just go betting on my dear cousins like this!"

"But that's ridiculous. Of course they're not," Kevin interrupts, frowning. "They're not... They're not _fucking_ or _dating._ They've got an agreement, I guess, and--"

"An agreement!" Nicky squeaks. He clears his throat. "But as I was saying! I do want both my darling baby cousins to be happy and--"

"And what about the bet on Andrew and Renee?" Kevin cuts in again, holding his hands up helplessly.

"I'm right here," Renee says serenely as Matt shushes Kevin.

Kevin shuts his mouth. Then, "I just don't think--"

"Yeah, you don't think. You putting money on that, Day?" Allison asks, challenging. "That they're not together?"

"Yes," he says, no hesitation.

"A sucker born every minute," Nicky mutters.

Kevin rolls his eyes.

"Well, at least Dan won't be alone in her bet now. Even if she is being tragically stubborn about admitting defeat."

"It's about just sticking to my guns at this point!" Dan says. "The same way some of you..." With a smile, she nudges Matt. "Haven't admitted you've already lost other bets."

Renee pretends not to listen.

Matt sighs, long-suffering. "I'll make it back for the both of us now, babe."

"Just missing you now, Nicholas."

Nicky rests his elbows on the back of their row of seats, his eyes on Neil and Andrew. "Yeah, you know what? Put me down for they're totally together."

"Aw, fuck yeah," Allison says and even deigns to accept Nicky's high five.

Dan sighs and, after a moment's thought, pulls out her camera and aims at Neil and Andrew.

It'll make for a nice picture, all right? It can even go on the wall in the lounge.

-

That asshole won't leave her goddamn team alone. Her team. _Her_ Foxes.

Dan sees the way Kevin freezes when he realizes who's in the audience at UT, sees Neil's frown and the look he exchanges with Andrew.

"What are they doing here?" Matt says, furious, and she can feel her own heart pounding in time with his anger.

She's got half a mind to just tell Andrew to actually go through with his muttered comment about talking to goddamn Riko Moriyama.

The other teams can say whatever the hell they want about the Foxes. They can mock them. They can dismiss them. They can do whatever they want. They don't know anything and they don't care to know anything about how much each of them has overcome to get here.

But she does not take kindly to anyone threatening or intimidating her Foxes.

Beside her, Allison hisses, angry eyes set on where Riko's sitting, the sound lost to the conversation the rest of the team is having. Dan pats her lightly on the shoulder and, on her other side, Renee's gloved fingers circle Allison's wrist.

"We've got this," Dan says lowly.

"We fucking better," Allison says, voice surprisingly steady. She scoffs. "Coach should just set the monster on that asshole. Let him take a swing at him or something."

Renee shakes her head, but says nothing. It's enough words for now.

They play.

They win.

And that? Fucking take that, Moriyama.

She can't even find it in her to try to reel Neil back when he's not even on press duty this time and the reporters find him anyway. Dan watches as he smiles, sharp and unrepentant, as he answers the questions about the rumors _someone's_ spread about Riko trying to recruit him to his so-called perfect Court, then deciding he isn't good enough to even practice with and taking it back.

"Oh that?" Neil says. "No. We decided it was best if I didn't even try out."

"But why?" one reporter asks, looking pitying. "Did they change their minds about your ability to keep up with the rest of them?"

The smile drops off Neil's face, his eyes widening in what, if Dan didn't know any better, she'd think was surprise. As if he doesn't freeze like a deer in the headlights every time one of them actually surprises him.

"Is that what Riko said?" he asks, the very picture of confused innocence.

Kevin tenses between him and Dan and mutters something in French that Neil ignores.

"I'm afraid there's been a mistake," Neil goes on. "No. We just don't think he deserves us." And here he gestures at Kevin, who goes even tenser. "I mean, Riko's a good player, and I'm sure he's picking players who are just as good, but as a person..." He winces, the movement so much more exaggerated than how he usually acts. "It's just not gonna work. Riko's just... No."

Dan bites back a laugh.

Oh, this is good. This is too good.

"But what about the rumor that you wanted to transfer to Edgar Allan?"

Neil shrugs. "We talked about that, too, when we last met during the winter banquet. But it's just never gonna happen when we know we just wouldn't work well together. Besides, have you seen the Ravens play?" Somehow, Neil manages to rearrange his face into the perfect picture of regret. "They're just horrible. But that's... I shouldn't say that in front of all of you, right?" He aims a smile at Dan now. "I bet my captain wants me to play nice, too, so... Let's just say we're looking forward to our rematch with the Ravens, even if Riko hasn't figured out yet that we're going to win." 

He extricates himself from any further questions so quickly, that Dan has to walk faster to keep up once he turns around, only stopping to throw a cheery "Good night!" over her shoulder. Kevin's practically vibrating as he follow her, Andrew falling into step with him. But it's Dan who reaches Neil first in the locker rooms.

"Hey, Neil?" she says, slinging an arm around his shoulders.

He doesn't pull away. "Yeah?"

"Have you always been this good at lying?"

Someone snorts and when she to turns to find who, Dan has to take a moment, just a moment, to tell herself that yes, actually, that sound did come from the currently blank-faced Andrew.

Okay.

Okay, okay, okay. Sure.

There's no time to think about it though, when Kevin's coming up to them so fast that he's dislodged Neil from her side.

Kevin throws something at Neil in rapid French, his tone downright despairing.

Dan looks between him, Neil, and Andrew, but Neil holds his ground, while Andrew hangs back, watching carefully, and decides... All right, she can follow his lead this one time.

Neil spares her a quick glance, Andrew a slightly longer one, and goes on in English, "I'm dealing with Riko, Kevin."

English. Huh!

That's new.

"You can't do it like this!"

"I can't?"

"No!" Kevin throws his hands up. "No, Neil! All you're doing is bringing him down on all of us! You're not thinking!"

"I am." Neil steps right up to Kevin, looking him in the eye. "I'm just not afraid of him. What about you, Kevin? Are you going to keep being afraid of him?"

"Neil..." Kevin shakes his head. "It's not that easy. It's not that easy and you know it."

"Why? Hasn't he taken everything from you by now? What else do you have to lose?"

Kevin twitches, but Neil hardly even seems to notice.

"You have a way out now. _Take it,_ already."

"You're not--"

Wymack comes back before Kevin can finish that thought, effectively ending the conversation.

For now. Dan will need to keep an eye on them on the bus. And plane.

Christ. She's got way too much running through her head right now.

While Neil's in the showers and Kevin's grumbling to Wymack on the other side of the room, Dan glances at Andrew and makes a decision.

Against her better judgment, she walks over to the monster, keeping a careful few feet between them. She needs to know this, she reminds herself. "What's it mean he let you and me hear all of that?" she asks, voice hushed.

She doesn't need to explain what she means.

Andrew blinks slowly up at her, before settling on his usual heavy-lidded stare, and shrugs. "He's an instigator," he says, like that's actually an answer.

But maybe it is, in his own weird way.

Neil's trying to get a reaction. From Kevin?

"Right," Dan says. She considers his answer, then does not pat his shoulder like instinct tells her to. "Well, good talk. I'm hitting the showers."

He taps two fingers to his temple in salute and continues watching the entrance to the men's showers.

_Waiting for Neil,_ her mind supplies.

Hm.

-

Just as they're getting off the bus by the court back in Palmetto, Neil pulls Matt and Allison aside and shoots Dan a significant look.

She follows them to the far end of the parking lot, where Neil suggests, very seriously, that they leave their cars parked at the court or Wymack's place. Just for one night.

Allison looks more than a little skeptical, her arms crossed over her chest as she attempts to stare Neil down. Dan gives him a concerned look, waiting for him to elaborate. But Matt just frowns and says, "Do you know something we don't, Neil?"

He gives them a little grin, there and gone again. "Something like that. It's something you need to avoid for just one night though, don't worry about it."

"That's really reassuring, Neil," Allison says.

Neil shrugs, but all he says is, "If you drop everyone off at the dorms, I can come pick you up here or at Wymack's with Andrew's car?" He frowns. "But don't tell anyone I told you, all right? I'll explain tomorrow."

"Okay, that's _really_ not that reassuring," Dan says.

"I know, sorry. But I will explain, promise."

"You better, you little weirdo," Allison says, but her voice is grudgingly fond, not annoyed.

Dan neatly sets aside all her concerns about getting in the monster's car. It's fine. Andrew won't be in the car. Probably not any of the other monsters either.

Tired as they are from the game and the trip back, it isn't long before they've taken care of it and are all back in the dorms, ready to collapse for the night.

Then the yelling wakes her up, way too goddamn early.

_Ugh._

Then the sight out the windows really wakes her up.

Aw shit.

Aw fuck.

Seriously?!

She sends Renee to knock on the monsters and Neil's door and heads to Matt's dorm, a mostly-asleep Aaron letting her in.

"What the fuck?" he mumbles, looking like a tiny, disgruntled kitten, for all the force his glare has on her when he's like that.

But it's Matt she's looking for. She rushes to the bedroom and Aaron follows her, grumbling all the while.

"Matt!" she says, shaking him awake. "Matt, come on! There's a fucking mess in the parking lot. Somebody snuck in last night and trashed the cars!"

She's barely got the sentence out before she hears the sound of Aaron running out the room behind her. But Matt's sitting up in his bunk now and rolling out of bed and that's all that matters.

"The cars?!" he squawks, already reaching for his keys. "What the fuck? Why'd they--" He cuts himself off and waves the hand holding the keys. "Wait. Wait, wait. But my truck's at..."

Her half-asleep brain finally catches up.

"Wymack's place," she finishes for him and turns around, hooking her fingers into the edge of Matt's shirt as she goes. "We have to find Neil!"

Through the crowd of angry, shouting student athletes, through the awful fucking smell, and past all the other trashed cars, she finds the monsters' car. Allison's already there, standing a ways away, and she says something about Wymack being on his way with the cops, but it's hard to focus on that with that sight in front of her.

It takes only one glance between the monsters' car and the rest of the parking lot to see how much extra attention was put into utterly destroying this specific one, to solidify the idea in her mind.

Ravens fans.

"Holy shit," Matt mutters behind her.

"Holy shit," Dan agrees, wincing when she spots the spray painted _Traitor_ on the hood. And the significantly crasser words on the driver's side doors.

Ouch. She doesn't even want to know what the inside looks like. And on such an expensive car, when she knows damn well and good none of the monsters have the money to replace it.

"Have you seen Neil?" she asks Allison. "He... After last night..."

"I know," Allison says, her eyes hard. "I figure he'll show up for his boy's car soon enough."

The sound of Nicky's voice is the first sign they're here. When she turns to look, she finds Aaron, a thunderous look on his face, leading Nicky toward the car, Kevin a little behind with Renee. Then there's Neil with the monster bringing up the rear, their matched pace unhurried.

Dan exchanges a look with Allison and a nod with Renee and they're off. She leaves Renee and Matt to deal with Nicky, Aaron, and Kevin, and hightails it to Neil with Allison.

"Neil!" Allison says. "We need to talk."

Dan catches the dark look on Aaron's face at the sound of Neil's name, but she just pushes on faster, putting distance between them. No, no, those two can have whatever blowout Aaron wants to have later.

Neil doesn't look surprised to see the two of them there for him. He only raises an eyebrow at Andrew, who shrugs, then walks past them toward the other monsters.

"We need to talk?" Neil asks.

"Hell yeah, we do!" Allison says, beckoning him over to the side of the building where the crowd is thinner.

Dan hurries to follow.

"You knew this was going to happen. How?" Allison demands once they're there.

Neil looks up at them steadily, his voice light. "I knew it was a possibility. But I wasn't completely sure they'd do that, no."

"And you didn't think to warn anyone else?" Dan says, eyebrows raised. But even as she asks it, she knows the answer.

_Neil doesn't care about anyone outside the Foxes,_ right?

"Wait a fucking minute. Why didn't you warn the monster?" Allison hisses. "Neil, what the fuck? You drive that car! And isn't he your like... Like..." She gestures vaguely, scowling.

Neil almost smiles and shakes his head. "He knew it was a possibility, too. But we figured it'd be too suspicious if they didn't get any of us. It could've made them go harder for us right away." He nods toward where the rest of the Foxes are clustered. "Look at that. We were the target. They just hit everyone else, too, while they were at it."

Dan rubs her temples.

Insane. That's what this is. This is insane. What? Did he know when he mouthed off to those reporters yesterday that someone would retaliate like this? Did someone tell him on the way? Hell, did Moreau tell Kevin something, when he slipped away to talk to him in UT?

No, no, that can't be it. He looks almost as shocked as Nicky right now.

"Someday," Dan mutters to herself. "You're going to tell us how you know all this shit." She lets out a harsh breath. "And you still didn't tell anyone else in Fox Tower." 

Neil shrugs, unrepentant. "Too suspicious. It was better this way."

"Works for me," Allison says. She holds her hands up at the look Dan turns on her. "What! Fuck the rest of these assholes, you _know_ how they talk about us!"

Unfortunately, she does, so she lets that one go for now.

"I'm guessing Nicky, Kevin, and Aaron didn't know," Dan says, glancing at where Andrew is staring dispassionately at Nicky while he mourns the car.

"They didn't," he says easily, following her gaze. "But don't worry about that either. It'll be fine."

This is insane. How did he even...

"Neil," Dan says firmly. "There's a lot more going on here than we think, isn't there? You know something."

Neil turns a thoughtful look on her and doesn't deny it. "Sort of."

Dan studies him carefully, but he only looks back at her, more patient than she'd have expected.

"I don't know what game you're playing with Riko..."

"Exy," he says, without missing a beat.

Allison lets out a startled laugh. "He makes jokes now!"

"I've always made jokes!" he protests, looking so offended Dan snorts.

Allison ruffles his hair. "Sure thing, kid. But as Dan was saying..."

"As I was saying," she picks up. "I don't know what game you're playing with Riko, and something tells me you're not going to explain anytime soon. But just..." She reaches out to lay her hand on the shoulder of his rumpled sleep shirt. "Just be careful, Neil. I don't want you to get hurt."

Neil raises startled eyes to her that quickly soften into something she can't identify.

"It'll be fine, Dan," he says again. "I'm not letting Riko or anyone push me around."

"Especially when you've got your boy looking out for you, right?" Allison says, jerking her head back toward the rest of the Foxes.

Dan hums thoughtfully, seeing the way Andrew's looking at them now, his face giving nothing away. But the fact he's looking at all says enough.

"Yeah," Neil says quietly. drawing her attention back. And it's not a confirmation of anything, but the look in his eyes...

It says enough, too.

Days later, when Neil and Andrew, along with Kevin, come back with a new car that Matt goes fucking insane over, she sees the grin Neil gives Andrew--one with most of its sharp edges sanded off, not like the one he gives reporters. And she sees the way Andrew looks at Neil when no one else is paying attention to him and.

And she sighs.

Unless this really is the weirdest, most intense friendship she's ever seen, Dan figures she should start making peace with losing the money she bet.

Aw man, she thinks despairingly, Allison and Matt are going to be so goddamn smug.

* * *

Neil takes his chance one Thursday where afternoon practice is canceled... to deal with the mess of trash and spray paint in front of the Foxhole Court this time.

How that interview pissed the Ravens fans off more than the original one, Neil has no idea.

Whatever.

Andrew levels him with a sour look, but it's one easy enough to see past. "You know you didn't have to talk to the reporters this time."

"I didn't." Neil shrugs. "But you liked it anyway."

Andrew rolls his eyes, but doesn't deny it.

Ha, called it.

"It's a little late to be thinking about that anyway."

Neil spins his new key in his hands once and glances toward where they left Kevin safely in the dealership's lounge. Close enough Andrew can keep an eye on him, but still far enough away they can talk. Good.

It's still so damn hard to find the time to talk candidly sometimes.

They haven't been using Russian, if only to avoid any questions they'd rather not have to answer or dodge. Even German's been a bit tricky, with how Nicky's definitely noticed that Andrew's more fluent in it now than he was before. That one they can at least pass off as Andrew getting in more practice with Neil.

Even if it definitely means Nicky's got more material to figure out what's between the two of them.

Though the way Nicky's been acting lately, like it's physically painful for him to hold something back every time he talks to either of them, Neil thinks he might be too late there.

Oh well.

"I owed you a new car again, anyway," Neil says.

Andrew gives him his third best unimpressed look, which just isn't very effective anymore and he knows it.

It's not something Andrew can argue against anyway. The Maserati was old, the last time Neil saw it, but he knows Andrew's still missed it as much as Neil has.

He's got a lot of good memories with that car. It feels right to have it back.

"And it's nice to have this back," Neil voices the thought out loud when still Andrew only stares at him.

"We won't get everything back. And there is no point in hoping we will," Andrew says, just a touch wry. Like he thinks Neil's forgotten. Drama queen. "Things will only continue to change from here on out."

"Yeah. I know." And Neil does. He does. "How long do you think until it's all uncharted territory?" he asks with a small smile.

Andrew lets out a considering hum, then lifts a shoulder in a shrug. "We still don't know how this works. Or even why we are here."

"And we probably never will," Neil mutters. Not like there was a helpful wizard guide for them when they woke up in the past. But he sure would like to know.

Andrew inclines his head in acknowledgement. "And we've only just made more significant changes," he says, referring to Christmas and Evermore.

"We changed Thanksgiving," Neil points out and doesn't add, _And that means everything._ Not this time.

Andrew gives him his best unimpressed look this time and flatly ignores him. "You did not go to Evermore. Riko will likely retaliate in some new way now." He huffs. "We're overdue for it."

Neil grimaces. "We're keeping an eye out." And how he hates having to wait for the other shoe to drop with Riko. "We just need to figure out his game."

"We will," Andrew says, like it's easy, but he can see the tense set to his shoulders, the way he holds his own key too tightly. "And everything that will come after."

They will. He just wishes they could figure it out sooner. They both do.

Andrew's thinking about Nathan again, Neil's sure. He's beginning to recognize that look on his face.

He wishes he could guarantee Andrew that nothing will happen.

With one more glance to make sure Kevin's still distracted, courtesy of Nicky texting him, Neil takes the step between them and reaches out to squeeze Andrew's hand briefly. "Let's get out of here?"

Andrew nods.

Move forward. That's what they can do for now. It's all they can do for now. They can plot, they can plan--and fuck, he has every intention of being successful at it again. But, for now, they move forward and wait.

_Uncharted territory,_ he said, half meaning it as a joke, half wanting a serious answer from Andrew. And he got it, all right, but it's not like either of them can really tell.

Just how different will their future together end up being?

They'd only been living together in their shared apartment in Denver for a few months when they got tossed back. They'd only been truly alone with each other, no roommates and no stolen moments while living states apart, for a few months.

He doesn't know how it'll go this time. He wonders if they'll even still end up in Colorado or somewhere else entirely, the way the changes are slowly piling up.

And some things are good. He appreciates sharing a dorm room with Andrew sooner. He appreciates not taking a trip to Evermore. And he's grateful, so fiercely grateful, that Andrew didn't have to relive that Thanksgiving any more than he already does with his memory.

But some things...

He still feels the sharp sting of guilt when he looks at Allison sometimes, even if she's doing better now, and at knowing he couldn't be there to help Jean this Christmas. He knows he's playing with all of their lives changing things, when Ichirou and Nathan are still threats lurking in their future.

But as Andrew briefly presses their shoulders together on their way back to Kevin, his hand hidden behind them on Neil's lower back, he thinks... He thinks it's all right. As long as Andrew's still by his side, for as long as he'll have him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wherein our cast may or may not be cheating a little on their bets.
> 
> Just a little.
> 
> Anyway, after this, we've got Allison, then Kevin bringing in the end of the story!


	6. Allison

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all again so, so much for all your kudos and bookmarks and comments. You're all super sweet. <3
> 
> Warnings: On-screen kidnapping, with Lola and Romero there briefly, and off-screen torture. A little less than what you'd expect from this part of the story in canon, I think, considering our POV character isn't there to witness the torture. Feel free to let me know if you think I've forgotten any warnings!

Neil said his birthday was in March, Allison thinks to herself as she watches the tense looks being exchanged around the lounge after the game.

Probably, she shouldn't have snapped something at him about the win against the Terrapins being his birthday present. He probably didn't deserve that, especially after a scare like that, but.

If they got what they deserved, they wouldn't be Foxes, right?

She taps her fingers against her thigh, eyes straying toward the men's locker room.

Neil's still in the showers, and she'd bet good money the monster's in the locker room playing guard dog. That's what he does now, after all, stick to Neil like glue and watch him all the time.

She'd be happier about how she's got this bet in the bag, if it weren't only two people who've bet against it. But oh well.

Dan mutters something to Renee beside her and when Allison turns to look, she finds her eyes are still on the squeaky clean elephant in the room.

So, to hell with it, Allison looks, too. She's not scared, just pissed the fuck off.

It doesn't matter how much they clean it anyway. Even though the wall's been scrubbed clean now, it's hard to forget what was there, written in blood right behind the entertainment center.

_Happy 19th Birthday, Junior.  
See you soon._

A message, a warning, and it doesn't take a genius to figure out who it's aimed at. Nice touch though, making sure the whole team would see. Really back him into a corner there.

Allison frowns, considering, as she hears footsteps approaching from the men's locker room. Junior doesn't really suit Neil as a nickname. She hopes no one actually bothers to use it.

God, what a pain.

The vandalism stopped, eventually. After Wymack yelled at Edgar Allan's president through a reporter or two, which... Eh, whatever works.

She's got the same opinion when it comes to how Neil handled it and Allison can't even say anything about Neil sacrificing the monster's car to the Ravens either, when it means he came back with a new, even more expensive car. She can't say she wouldn't have done the same. It was all smooth and easy, like it barely even bothered him.

She thought it was all over.

But now...

Neil's got some color back in his cheeks now, compared to how he was before the game started, but he's still looking sick as shit when he walks back into the lounge with his monster, and the tense set to his shoulders only gets worse when he sits.

Wymack telling them it wasn't human blood does nothing to make Neil look less tense either.

"Are you serious?" Dan says once Wymack's finished talking. Something about Neil not wanting the cops involved. "Neil! You're really just going to let Riko get away with this?"

Neil grimaces. "This is a little more complicated than I expected," he says, in a voice entirely unlike the one he used to tell Dan and Allison he'd expected the cars to get trashed.

He doesn't sound anywhere near as confident. That's the difference, she realizes after a moment. That's what's making this stick out.

"What's complicated about it?" Matt says, brows furrowed in worry. "If Riko's trying to mess with us again, why should we let him?"

Neil only shakes his head. "It's not... Look, it's not that Riko's trying to mess with me..." 

"It's that Riko's told us something you were trying to hide? Is that it?" Aaron says, not quite scowling. "I thought your birthday was in March, Josten."

Neil almost looks startled when he looks at Aaron, and...

Yeah. There's the other elephant in the room.

"Sort of," he says slowly. "It's complicated."

"I think, Neil," Dan says tersely into the ensuing awkward silence. "It might be time for some answers."

Andrew leans forward in his seat, but stops when Neil reaches out to touch his arm, instead turning a bored look on Dan before settling back into the couch.

Matt leans forward himself to turn wide eyes on Allison and she finds it in her to give him a brief sharp grin.

Oh, yeah. There it is again. 

No one comments on that little display as Neil pulls his hand away and says, "I owe you a lot of answers. I know. And you're going to get them."

"Yeah, you do," Wymack says, his arms crossed over his chest. "You have for a while now, kid."

Neil grins. "I guess I did say..." He pauses and looks up at Wymack,the grin melting off. "...I haven't told you any of the truth yet," he says to him, surprised like it's news to him, too. "Or when I'd tell you the truth."

"No," Wymack says slowly. "You haven't."

Neil nods to himself, his expression thoughtful now. "I guess I haven't."

"Wait, just like that?" Aaron cuts in, glaring at Neil. "You just... admit you've been lying?"

On Andrew's other side, Kevin, who's looking even more rattled than Neil, lets out a strangled noise.

Neil shrugs. It'd look more casual if his cheeks weren't still so pale and if he didn't look seconds away from hurling, but he's giving it his best shot, it looks like. "Just like that."

"Jesus, you're such a fucking asshole," Aaron grumbles.

"Aaron!" Nicky chides. "Is this really the time?"

"Not that this isn't entertaining," Wymack says over them, voice dry. "But you said something about telling us the truth, kid. So, tell us. Why don't you want us to set the cops on Moriyama?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Kevin's the one to interrupt now with a wide gesture of his hands, his voice just an octave too high. "After everything Riko's done, isn't it obvious why nothing we could report would stick!"

"Maybe, but we could get some of his middlemen, right? They have to slip up at some point," Matt says.

The monster snorts, probably the first sound he's made since the game ended.

Allison narrows her eyes at him. "Got something to say?"

He narrows his eyes right back at her, his mouth in a flat line, and doesn't say a word.

Well, can't say she didn't try.

Kevin ignores the entire exchange. "No, Matt, you don't understand. His middlemen are--"

"Not involved," Neil says, just loud enough to carry.

"What?!"

Neil grimaces at Kevin. "This wasn't Riko, Kevin."

"But that means..." The sound Kevin lets out is downright pathetic.

All right, all right. What the fuck?

"Then who was it?" Allison asks before even Dan can.

"I really can't say a lot," Neil says and, shit, he actually does look regretful. The precious little shit. He glances up at Wymack again. "I'm sorry, Coach, I know you want the whole truth, but..." He taps a finger against his knee, over and over.

"But bullshit!" Aaron explodes, still scowling as he ignores the wide eyes Nicky turns on him. "Who are you hiding from?"

"Hiding from?" Dan asks. She holds up a hand. "Hold on, Neil, I... Shit, is that it? Is there someone after you?"

"Figures it's Aaron who figured it out," Neil says with a huff that almost sounds like a laugh.

"Excuse me?" Aaron jabs a finger in Neil's direction. "You haven't exactly made it hard to figure out with how shifty you are! And now this? Happy fucking birthday, Junior! What's next?"

Neil snorts. "You're right," he says, resting his elbows on his knees. "I'm hiding from someone. And Riko knows who this person is. But..." He sighs, rests his chin in his hands, and locks eyes with Wymack again. "It won't be a problem for the team, all right? By summer, it won't be a problem for anyone. I promise."

Wymack sighs. "Oh, don't give me that shit. That's just sad, kid."

"Huh?"

"He means..." Matt says, eyes and voice annoyingly earnest. "That if you're in trouble, you know we'd help, right? We're a team. We're friends. You don't have to tell us it won't affect us."

"Exactly," Dan chimes in. "You're a Fox and you've been there for us. Whatever this is, we're in it together, Neil."

Renee nods in agreement and says, in that sweet little voice of hers, "I agree. I'm sure even Aaron does."

Aaron mutters something too low to hear, but Nicky helpfully 'translates,' "He does!" He jabs an elbow into Aaron's side. "He's just being difficult, right, Aaron?"

"Fuck off!"

Neil blinks slowly at Matt, then at Dan and Renee, even at Nicky and Aaron, and Allison can't decide if it's adorably sad or proof he spends too much goddamn time with the monster.

Maybe both.

God, he better have realized before now that they're friends with him or she swears to god, she'll...

She doesn't know.

Godm he's so stupid sometimes, isn't he? Allison knows this, she accepts it. But knowing it already doesn't mean it doesn't piss her off.

So she tells him as much, just when it looks like Aaron's trying to decide whether to complain again or not.

"You little shit." And it's disgusting how fond her voice comes out. "The hell are you looking so surprised for? You had to know all of this already."

He sits up, then slouches against the back of the couch again, his eyes on his hands. "Sorry, I..." He clears his throat. "I just wasn't expecting this now, I guess. Thanks," he says quietly, biting his lip.

The monster rolls his eyes and mutters something that sounds suspiciously like "still an oblivious idiot."

Allison can't believe she agrees with him. It almost feels like that shouldn't be possible at all.

"Seriously?" Nicky shakes his head. "Come on! I told you ages ago we're your friends, right?" He gives Aaron a sidelong look. "All of us. I know we're kinda a mess on this team, but that part doesn't change, all right?"

Neil nods. "Thank you," he says again, voice all soft and hesitant, and Allison's had just about enough, she swears.

Backup comes from an unexpected source.

"You are hopeless," the monster says, still not looking at Neil. "I'd thought you'd outgrown the martyr act by now, but I should have known better." He clicks his tongue. "Hopeless, but all the more me for putting up with you."

Neil laughs lowly. "You don't have to put up with me."

The monster glares at him. "Hopeless," he says again.

Huh, that's the most she's heard him say in one go since he got off those pills.

"Cute," Allison deadpans.

Andrew glares at her, too.

He's real right about one thing. Neil's not the only who's hopeless.

Wymack clears his throat. "If you're done with all of that," he says gruffly. "These assholes are right, we're on your side, kid. Just... Just listen to me, all right?" He holds up a finger, suddenly serious again. "One more thing like this and I'm calling the cops. I do not care how much you think you've got this under control, you cannot handle it all on your own. Are we clear?"

"Yes, Coach. I'm sorry I didn't tell anyone about this before. The person..." Neil purses his lips, his hands squeezing around his knees. "My family," he says slowly, an admission. "Has a reputation. And this... is the kind of warning they make."

The silence in the wake of that statement is _heavy,_ and Allison finds herself wanting to shake Neil still a straight answer falls out of him.

Aaron's jaw drops. "Jesus Christ, is this the fucking mob, too--"

"Not that question," Andrew says quickly. "Try again."

Neil holds up his hands and very much does not answer that interrupted question. "Look, I mean it when I say none of you are getting hurt. But that's why I can't say anything else for now." He hesitates and concedes, "I'm going to talk to someone who can help, all right? I have... a contact I can talk to, who should probably know this has happened. They're traveling this way soon anyway."

Allison narrows her eyes. "A contact? That's real specific, Neil."

Renee reaches out to touch her arm. "All considered, it might be best if we don't know who he's calling," she says softly and Neil nods vigorously.

Fine.

Coach and Dan both say a few more things, making sure Neil promises to tell them the full truth later. Whatever. Allison doesn't really listen.

She's got hell of a lot to think about now.

-

She doesn't know why Renee's bothering with this shit. Maybe it's part of all her peace and love and Jesus shit. She doesn't know. But really? Texting Moreau?

The asshole won't even be grateful to her.

Allison's not sure how they even got each other's numbers. Probably that time Kevin sneaked off to talk to Moreau in Texas. But she just... She doesn't like it.

It was fine, at first, Renee can talk to whoever she wants. But it's stressing Renee out lately. And that's pissing Allison off.

She doesn't know what they talk to each other about, and for once, she doesn't pry or snoop. But Renee frowns more now when she's texting, her brows turned down and her lips pinched tight.

During a break in practice, she sees her ditch Neil and the monster in the middle of one of their weird debates to frown down at her phone for a while. (Survival strategies for an alien invasion? What the fuck? Is this the kind of shit she and the monster had been going on about while everyone else thought they were dating? Because she thinks she can see now why Renee told her it'd never happen.)

That asshole Jean Moreau.

Maybe that's an unfair thing to think about him, with everything she's learned about how the Ravens are treated from Kevin, but to hell with it. It's just a bad feeling, seeing Renee frustrated like that, and Moreau can take a goddamn backseat to that.

She doesn't know. Allison's head probably isn't screwed on straight this year, with everything that's happened, with the lingering worry over Neil and... everything else she doesn't need to think about.

Besides. Besides, Renee's her friend and she's allowed to worry about her. She and Dan were there for her after... all the things she doesn't _need_ to think about. Seth. Everything. And Allison isn't heartless, all right? She appreciates it.

She's fine these days, fueled more by anger and spite than useless grief, but she still appreciates it more than she can bring herself to tell either of them. So hell yeah she's not going to stand for anything that puts that kind of look on Renee's face.

And the way it grows more and more somber the further they get in the season. Hell, the closer they get to their rematch against Edgar Allan.

Where Moreau will be.

Allison catches herself almost asking Renee a few times, almost offering help, but she bites her tongue every time. If Renee wants help, she'll ask, right? Unlike most of the rest of them, she's all... well-adjusted now, right? She knows how to ask for help?

She huffs when Dan calls for the team to gather, saying something about running drills.

Right. She can worry about that later.

The whole goddamn team is getting tenser and tenser as they get closer to the end of the season anyway and that's more than enough to deal with on its own. The phone thing must be catching, too, because when she glances over to where Neil and the monster are lagging behind on their way to rejoin the others, she catches the way Neil, looking not so adorably confused, holds up his phone screen to Andrew and shakes it like he's expecting something to fall out of it. Andrew actually frowns at it, too, and she's sure she doesn't imagine the way he steps just that half an inch closer to Neil.

Huh.

But practice. Right. 

Even as it starts back up though, even as she's sweating her way through every drill, she can't get her mind off any of this shit when it's got them all bleeding that tension out all over the court--their voices sharper, the checks rougher, and all criticism even more obnoxious than usual.

Especially when Kevin's there to yell at all of them like always.

Ughhhh. Fucking Kevin and his fucking criticism and his fucking perfectionism.

She lets herself fantasize of the look on Kevin Day's face when _she_ makes Court and he has to play with her again after graduation. God, she just cannot wait to stuff his condescending attitude down his throat someday.

She'll go to the Olympics and win a gold medal or three and, sure, he'll win them at the same time as her, but he'll have to deal with the fact that Allison Reynolds was there with him on the same court, on the same team.

She'll keep playing exy until she gets so old they have to drag her bodily off the court. Then maybe, once she's retired, she'll coach professionally. She doesn't give a shit. She can do what she wants. Who cares if Kevin tells her that her passes suck?

It's her goddamn life now and she makes the rules, no matter what the stupid son of exy thinks.

And god, does he never hesitate to tell them what he thinks. No matter how many times they tell him (she tells him) to shut up. He's nervous. She gets it. But _Jesus fuck._

He goes and reminds them all how pleasant he can really be when the camera crews come to film them practicing and Allison swears she could puke.

Asshole. Colossal asshole.

But, she has to concede, at the end of the day isn't that one of the requirements for being a Fox? Even dear, sweet Renee. She wouldn't (grudgingly, not so grudgingly, whatever) have any respect for Kevin if he couldn't be as much of an asshole as Allison.

The highlight of the whole thing is Neil's interview. But these days, anything insulting Riko Moriyama and the Ravens is enough to make Allison feel downright giddy. And, oh, how she loves how it takes just the slightest provocation for Neil to do it in front of the cameras, no matter how much Coach begs him to mind his tongue.

Personally, she hopes he never does and that he keeps reminding everyone the Foxes don't take any shit lying down, not now and not ever. And that they're not scared of the big bad scary best collegiate exy team.

To hell with them. It's the Foxes who are going to win this year. As soon as everyone stops freaking out, anyway.

That night, hours after the camera crew clears out of the court, she thinks she might have had just about enough of everyone panicking.

Dan's off in Matt's dorm, leaving Allison and Renee alone in their dorm--with Moreau on the other side of Renee's phone.

Allison holds back a sneer. Then thinks fuck it and does it anyway. Renee isn't even looking at her anyway.

"Sorry," Renee says at length, setting her phone down on her thigh. "I didn't mean to ignore you or the movie."

Allison shakes her head. She shoves back her instinctual response and, "Hey, Renee," she says instead. "You know you don't have to do everything yourself, right?"

"What?" Renee looks up at her, startled, then shakes her head. "Oh, Allison, thank you. I know, yes." She smiles slightly. "You don't need to worry though. I'm pacing myself in our games now that Andrew and I can substitute each other again."

Allison huffs. No. No, she's not listening. "That's not... I'm not talking about exy, Renee."

"Oh?" she says, eyes widening.

"I mean..." Allison holds up her hands helplessly. She can't really look at Renee for what she says next. "Just... Look, you've got the rest of us, too, okay? For all that... shit you're doing outside of games. Whoever it is you're trying to help. It's not just you and maybe Stephanie. And there's no point in trying to hide from us like you keep doing. Get it?"

Shit, this is hard.

"Oh, Allison, I..."

Allison doesn't let her speak. "And if anyone's ungrateful enough to turn their nose up at your help, then fuck them, you know? They don't deserve it." She crosses her arms and hates how defensive she must look. She was supposed to play this one cool.

"I'm not doing anything for the gratitude," Renee says mildly. "I only want to help however I can. If I can help even one person escape..." She doesn't say _Evermore,_ but Allison hears it loud and clear. A pause and, after what looks like an internal debate, Renee turns an unhappy look on Allison. "...I want to do everything I can to minimize harm to our team, too. You can understand that, right?"

Unbidden, Allison's thoughts go to Seth and.

 _God._ Fucking Riko.

"Okay," Allison says grudgingly, looking away again. "I'm not trying to stop you. But I mean it, okay? Stop trying to do all of this yourself. _I_ don't want you to beat yourself up over any of this either. Okay?"

There's another longer pause.

"Yes," Renee says, and Allison can hear the smile in her voice. "Yes, okay. Thank you, Allison."

"Yeah, yeah, sure. Just remember that. Now, are we watching the movie or what?"

-

It's almost a week before the game in Binghamton, days after their game in Nevada, and a good week after Riko Moriyama's father was in the hospital when shit goes south.

Allison's gets out of her stats class at the same time as Neil gets out of one of his needlessly complicated first year math major classes and they usually walk back to Fox Tower together before practice.

Except.

Except they're halfway down one of the quieter paths off Perimeter Road, taking a bend in the path, when Neil stiffens beside her, turning himself to face straight forward so quickly she almost stumbles against him.

What the fuck?

He keeps walking as she straightens, but when Allison chances a glance down at his expression, ready to demand an explanation, her heart skips a beat.

That tense, tight look can't mean anything good.

She doesn't let her stride falter as, casually shifting on her feet as she walks, she glances back behind them and catches a glimpse of a sleek black car.

Her heart skips another beat.

Oh. This is like something straight out of a bad movie.

"Allison," he whispers before she can say anything. "Can you do me a favor? It's important."

She's got half a mind to tell him to shut the fuck up unless it's an explanation, but she bites her tongue and nods. Just this once. Just because she knows how serious it has to be to have Neil looking like this.

"I'm going to drop my bag soon," he says. "I need you to grab it and take it to Andrew. Tell him to call my uncle, okay?"

"You have an uncle?" she blurts out. No, that's not the point, what is wrong with her? "You can give him the bag yourself, Neil! What the hell?"

"No, I can't. I won't see him again today."

"Neil, I swear to god, if you're going to do something stupid--"

"Just do this for me, please," Neil hisses. "It's important. I swear, I'll explain everything as soon as I can. But this is serious, Allison. Please just take this to Andrew and go somewhere with Wymack and Abby, okay? Don't call the cops or anything. Please."

Allison balls her hands up into fists at her side, her short, blunt nails digging into her palms.

"Neil, I love you, but I swear, you'll be sorry if you don't tell me the second you can."

Infuriatingly, Neil's face just softens at that and he reaches out to briefly touch her arm. "I'll be fine. Stop worrying so much."

_Stop worrying so much?_

That's when the car catches up to them and Neil draws up short, holding out his hand again to stop Allison as well. "Remember what I asked you," he whispers, then he's turning around just as the passenger side door opens.

Allison turns with him and finds a woman in sunglasses stepping out of the car, a wide grin on her face. "There you are, Junior!" she says.

Allison's blood runs cold.

Oh. No, no, no.

From the backseat emerges a man in a security officer's uniform--that isn't fooling her for a second, Palmetto's security officers don't carry guns--and Neil takes a near imperceptible step forward, half in front of Allison.

The little shit, as if she couldn't take care of herself.

"Oh, I've been looking all over for you! Now, why don't you say goodbye to your little friend here and come with us, Junior?" the woman says brightly. "This nice man wants to have a chat with you."

"I'll see you later, Allison," Neil says steadily and she wants to _shake_ him. But she can't say no to the pleading, panicked look he turns on her then, no matter how much she wants to.

God, the monster better be able to explain this shit right away.

"Are you coming back soon?" she says through gritted teeth, ignoring the minute shake of his head.

"As soon as I can," he says and it's not even a little comforting when paired with that woman's grin.

She doesn't jump when he drops his bag. And she doesn't tear off right after him when he slips into the car and when that woman turns one last, sharp grin on her. But it's a close thing.

Allison waits only long enough for the car to begin pulling away. Then she's snatching up Neil's bag and tearing off like she's got seconds left on the clock.

She doesn't stop until she sees the monster's car in the Fox Tower parking lot, the monster himself leaning against it with a cigarette while Kevin talks to him.

Good. She's caught them before they leave for practice, and with no Nicky or Aaron in sight yet.

"Hey! Monster!" she calls out at the top of her lungs. "Minyard!"

Some swimmer or whatever stares at her on her way into the tower, but he's not important.

Andrew looks up at her sharply, while Kevin stops mid-word.

The monster doesn't give her a chance to speak. He looks her up and down once, before he straightens and drops his cigarette, grinding it out under his boot.

"Why do you have Neil's bag?" he asks slowly. "Why is he not with you?"

"He told me to give you his bag," she says all in a rush, holding it out to him. "And to call his uncle."

For one very, very long moment, Andrew stares at her, something unfamiliar in his face. Then he snatches the bag from her hands and, "Explain," he snaps.

Any other day, she'd snap at him right back for his attitude, but she doesn't have time for this now.

Quickly as she can, barely even stopping to take a breath, she tells him about walking back from class, about the car that came up to them, the pair that took Neil away, and how he begged her to let him go.

"I don't know what the fuck's going on, Minyard," she says. "But this is fucking insane. Is this the family he's running from?"

She says it even as the thought hits her, even as her brain finally processes the _Junior_ that woman used to refer to Neil. Her stomach roils.

No. No, no, _no._

She raises her hands to grip at her hair, her breath coming in too, too quickly. "And I let him fucking go?!"

"No," Kevin says faintly, but she barely hears him.

"Focus, Allison," Andrew says harshly and she can't tell if it's his tone or the shock of him actually saying her name without sounding mocking that does it.

She gasps in a breath. "We have to get him!"

"I will," he says darkly.

"No," Kevin says and when Allison looks up, she could swear he's almost swaying on his feet. "No, don't do that, it's... Don't do that."

"Why not?" she demands. "He was running from them and you want to what? Just leave him to them?"

"It's not about what I want! We just... You can't," Kevin insists. The way he looks, she wouldn't be surprised if he just went and passed out right there on the asphalt. "You can't just... If they have him, it's already too late! None of us will be able to find him!"

"No," Andrew snaps. "Grab your things." He stops halfway to opening his car door and turns back toward Allison. "Tell the others to stay together."

"Way ahead of you, monster," she mutters, already texting Renee to gather everyone. "They'll meet us at the court. What are _you_ going to do?"

He doesn't answer. He only stares at Kevin until he grabs his own bag and gets in the passenger seat of the car, then stares at Allison expectantly.

"What?"

"Stop wasting time."

She blinks down at him, confused and annoyed, until it clicks.

Oh. Get in his car. Okay, sure, why the hell not?

It's less than half an hour before the whole team's gathered in the court lounge, but it still feels like too long. Too goddamn long.

She watched the monster make a call in the parking lot before going in, too far away for her to make anything out, and now he wastes absolutely no time in telling Wymack he's going to find Neil and that he should keep Kevin safe while he's away.

Wymack holds up his hands. "Hold up, hold up. You're going to go looking for him yourself? How the hell are you going to find him?" 

Allison looks down at Andrew, at where his knuckles are bleached white around the straps of that duffel and thinks if anyone can, it's him.

"He can't be far, right?" she bites out. "We could find him if we went now."

If the monster went now.

Kevin's already shaking his head. "It's too late," he says again, voice desperate. So much she'd actually feel sorry for him if it weren't _Neil_ occupying her thoughts.

"How?!"

For one long moment, Andrew stares at Kevin intently. There's that unfamiliar something back in his face. "But Reynolds is right, Kevin," he says lowly. "We can reach him. It's too far to drive to Baltimore today."

Baltimore? What does that have to do with anything? She turns to the others in question, but it's Kevin's voice that draws her attention back instead.

Kevin chokes. "You know about that?" He wheezes, horrified. "How?"

"He told me." Andrew turns a glare on Kevin and she sees what that unfamiliar look is now. The bored, sometimes angry, mask he's always got on is gone, gone, gone. There's something vaguely anguished about his expression now, like his face doesn't quite know how to make the expression, or like it's fighting through his usual apathy to get there, and oh god, oh Christ, this was not actually how Allison wanted to win that bet.

"What the hell does that mean?" Wymack cuts in but neither of the two of them pay him any mind.

"So, you..."

"Yes. I know all of it." He narrows his eyes at Kevin. "I know what this means just as well as you do, Kevin."

"Then... Then you know... You know he should have run ages ago! You know how this is going to end!" He's shaking now, so much it's visible.

"Yes. I do."

"Okay, enough! What the hell are you talking about?" Dan cuts in. She looks between them, eyes wide, then widening further. "Shit, this is his family, right? That's what you're talking about?"

"Kevin can explain," Andrew says, every word like ice. It's not Kevin he's looking at though, it's that bag still in his hands.

He's freaking out, Allison thinks faintly. Panicking over Neil. And the heavy feeling in her chest tells her she can't fault him at all.

"Andrew," Renee says, her voice surprisingly firm, but he ignores her, ignores Nicky trying to get his attention, and the way the rest of them inch closer to crowd around them.

Even Wymack stays silent, though he eyes Andrew carefully, like he's waiting for violence, his entire body wound up tight.

"Nathaniel--"

"Neil," Andrew says tersely.

Kevin swallows. "Neil. Neil's father is a gangster, and he works for the Moriyamas. He's..." He takes in an audible breath. "His father's Nathan Wesninski, the Butcher of Baltimore," he whispers weakly.

A good few of the others only stare blankly at that revelation, but Allison sees the way Wymack's jaw clenches, how Matt freezes, his mouth going slack, and how Renee's frown is just a little more intense than her usual one.

And fuck yeah Allison recognizes the name. She's heard the stories of the maniac hacking people up with a goddamn meat cleaver. It's got nothing to do with how her next few breaths are even more of a struggle. But it's got everything to do with the newfound fire under her veins.

That's Neil's dad? That's the guy after him? That's who those assholes from earlier today work for?

She presses a hand against her chest, the fury spiking at how hard and fast her heart is beating, so much so it feels like it's trying to escape her chest. Fuck this. Fuck that. _No._ No, he's not getting away with this.

No.

"...Nathaniel Wesninski, then? That explains the Junior," Aaron says, almost to himself.

Andrew's jaw works. "Neil," he says again.

Nicky ignores them. "So, uh, so. That's bad, right? That's, uh, really bad?" he squeaks. "We should call the cops, right? Wait, no, you can't call the cops on the mob, right? Oh, Jesus, but there's gotta be something else we can do and... and..." He turns wild eyes on Kevin. "Kev. Kevin! Where would they take him? If it's not Baltimore?"

"I don't know. I don't know what's going to happen now, I... I told him he was putting himself in danger staying here," Kevin whispers. "I told him they'd find him."

"Okay, okay. But we can still do something about it, right?" Matt says. "It's like Andrew said, you can't get to Baltimore this fast."

"Unless the Butcher decides to kill him in South Carolina..."

"Aaron! Look." Dan whirls around suddenly, facing Andrew now. "Andrew, how much do you know?"

"Enough."

"Come on. Anything that can help us right now is good."

"Like Kevin said. It's his father. And the people Reynolds saw are his henchmen. He was out on parole in Seattle soon. But not yet."

"How did you know that? I didn't know that," Kevin says.

"You wouldn't. It doesn't matter." Andrew turns on his heel right then and there, only stopping to toss out a quick, "As I said, Coach can look after you," before Wymack himself hustles to stand in front of him.

"No, no, don't give me that shit! If you're gonna go looking for him, then you can't go doing anything stupid, understand? You're no use to him if you end up wrapping your car around a pole or if you end up on the other side of the state."

"I'm not. Doing anything stupid." Andrew holds up his phone. "I have a call to make."

"Yeah, uh huh, and you can make it here. Hold it, Andrew," he says, holding up his hands palms up. "I'm just trying to help you here. So tell me. Is this call going to help Neil?"

Andrew stares balefully up at Wymack. "Yes. He had a back-up plan." He glances at Allison. "He wanted me to make this call."

"Someday," Wymack says slowly. "You two are going to explain just what the hell you've been up to this year."

"If you say so."

Coach lets him go.

The lounge does not devolve into yelling, arguing chaos.

Instead, she sees more than one hesitant wary look exchanged, and more than a few questioning ones aimed at Aaron and Nicky.

Aaron huffs and drops back down onto his seat, but Nicky only manages to look even more agitated, immediately turning to Dan and Matt.

And she can't...

God, Allison can't even say anything, not when she has to clench her hands into fists to keep them from shaking. This is bad.

She should have grabbed him and run.

"So. Kevin," she hears herself say. "Wesninski works for the Moriyamas. All right. So did your friend Riko rat Neil out to him? Is that why he's out of jail early?"

And she wants to laugh. Oh god, she could just laugh. Had Neil and the monster been counting the days before his father was let out on parole? Were they expecting this whole thing to happen anyway what...? A week from now? A month from now.

She hopes they really are together because who the hell else would put up with that kind of insanity?

"I don't know," Kevin says and she almost, almost manages to feel sorry this time at how pathetic he sounds. "If he was angry enough, maybe, but... But winning at exy's what matters to him. Why would he try to take Neil out before our rematch?"

"How should I know? He's obsessed!" She takes a step toward him, teeth bared. "He killed Seth. Winning mattered so much to your fucking _brother_ that he killed Seth! You really think this isn't something he'd do?"

Renee touches her wrist, a gentle barely there touch, and she sucks in a breath.

Fine.

Fine, she backs off for now. She's done with this conversation anyway.

Allison crosses her arms and flicks a hand in Kevin's direction. "Let's just wait and see what the monster's mystery call tells us."

The monster's _second_ mystery uncle call, at that. But he hasn't explained any of that to the others, now has he?

Nicky talks to Dan and Matt then, she thinks. And Aaron says something that has Nicky sounding even more strained. She doesn't know, she's not listening.

Then Renee talks to her, but it's hard to focus on what she's saying. It's like she's farther away than she should be, miles away from where Allison's standing. Or maybe it's the other way around.

"Allison," Renee says softly. "Are you all right?"

"Aren't I always?"

Renee gives her a weak little smile and squeezes Allison's wrist. "We'll figure this out. And you know Andrew won't rest until Neil is back either."

She grabs on to that like a lifeline, letting some confidence bleed into her expression. "Speaking of, I'm beginning to get the idea you really do have insider knowledge on those two, Renee."

Renee raises a hand to her mouth, but she's not fast enough to hide the way her lips twitch. Though her face soon smooths out again, turning solemn again. It was nice while it lasted. "Maybe, maybe not," she says. "I still haven't said anything that would settle it either way though."

"Do you know though?" Allison insists.

"Well..."

Whatever else she may have said in answer to that is interrupted by the return of the monster. Not that he stays long.

"I'm going," he says at the entrance to the lounge.

"Excuse me?" Wymack says, to the sound of Nicky and Aaron's simultaneous protests. "And where exactly do you think you're going?"

Andrew doesn't answer, already turning back toward the exit, but Wymack doesn't let him get too far.

"For god's sake, Andrew! Whatever you've gotten into that stupid head of yours, you're not doing it alone."

For one long moment, Andrew stares up at Wymack silently, his face back to its usual eerie blankness. Then he looks away.

"...I don't have time for this. I'm going."

"And I'm going with you, you asshole!"

Andrew lifts a hand as he sets off down the hall again, but he doesn't protest, stopping only to glance back at Nicky and Aaron. "Watch Kevin. With Abby."

"Right. Dan, get Abby and go to her place. I've gotta go and I want you all to stick together while we're gone. All of you. No risks!"

"Yes, Coach!"

What follows is the most frustrating afternoon, evening, and night of Allison's life. She's torn between wanting to crawl out of her skin and wanting to find a way to follow the monster the whole time.

It's not long before Abby shows up and gets the whole story from Dan. Ashen-faced, Abby takes one look at the rest of them and ushers them all off campus and to her house. There, they spread out between her living room and back porch while she calls Wymack.

Mat, Dan, and Renee exchange grim looks and Allison huffs and throws herself down onto an armchair, her phone already out and unlocked.

"I don't know about you assholes," she says, carefully haughty. "But I'm going to see if I can find anything on the news." It's better, after all, than sitting here uselessly.

"Good idea," Dan breathes, while Matt nods vigorously beside her. "If anything big happens, it has to show up somewhere."

Kevin, curled up on one edge of the couch and clutching his hand tightly to his chest, lets out a skeptical sound, but doesn't otherwise say anything, so Allison ignores him. She doesn't need that right now, thank you.

She looks for anything around Palmetto, around Columbia, hell, around Edgar Allan and around Baltimore, too, but nothing comes up. It drives in why Kevin's being like that, because why would the mob make themselves easy to find, right? But she still can't help the stab of frustration, or the anger bubbling up in her veins again.

Renee perches on the arm of Allison's chair after a while, twisting her fingers through the ends of her own hair. "I've texted Andrew," she says quietly. "But he hasn't answered." She looks behind Allison toward the sliding doors to the back porch, where Nicky and Aaron have been sitting for a while. "It's the same for Nicky."

"And the other tiny little man? He have any luck with his doppelganger?"

Renee pretends Allison said something reasonable--which, she totally did, actually--and says, "Nothing either. He's on the phone with Katelyn now."

"Hm. So much for that." She taps her phone against the chair's other arm. "You know," she says conversationally. "I fucking hate this."

Renee nods solemnly. "It makes me feel a little better to know that Andrew already had a plan, but..." She lets out a slow sigh.

"It still sucks, right?"

"Yes, it does." She looks down at her lap, her fingers finding the cross around her neck and, so fast Allison isn't sure she didn't imagine it between one blink and the next, her expression tightens into something hard and angry. "His father never should have been able to find him again," she says softly.

Allison sniffs. "No argument here."

Sometime close to sunrise, after Nicky and Aaron have wandered into the living room and Matt's fallen fast asleep on the floor beside them, is when Abby bursts into the room again, holding her phone high.

Matt jerks awake as a wide-eyed Nicky scrambles to his feet. Dan sidesteps them both to stand at the center of the living room.

"It's David!" Abby gasps out as soon as she reaches them, her cheeks flushed. "They've found Neil and..."

"They have?" Allison blurts out, pushing herself out of her chair. "Where? How is he?"

Abby holds up a finger as she catches her breath. "He's safe," she says. "They say he's safe. In West Virginia. How did you get to West Virginia so fast? A plane?!" She presses the phone to her ear and her face twists in confusion. "You're with his uncle?"

"His uncle," Aaron says. "Where the hell did an uncle come from?"

"Neil's got an uncle?" Matt echoes him. "He's never mentioned an uncle."

Allison bites her tongue.

Abby holds a hand up helplessly. "David," she says into the phone. "David, slow down. I'm trying to tell the team."

Allison could swear none of them even twitch as Abby listens, like they're collectively holding their breaths.

Even Aaron, in a rare fit of pretending he gives a fuck, she thinks snidely.

Abby nods along to whatever Wymack's saying. "They're at the hospital and as soon as he's out, they have to stop at... an FBI office? _David,_ an FBI office?!"

"What."

Renee lets out a startled sound, her hands twisting her cross back and forth.

"Is Neil hurt?" Dan demands.

Kevin lifts his head from where he's still on the floor, blinking slowly up at Abby. "An... FBI office?"

"The hospital and an FBI office," Abby says faintly.

With a grunt, Kevin pushes himself to his feet and staggers over to Abby. "Is he giving up his father? Is that it?"

"I'm not sure," Abby says. She frowns. "Yeah, all right, but call me the second you get the chance. Or we'll drive up there ourselves, do you hear me?"

She hangs up, sets her phone down on the end table, and sighs, covering her face with her hands. "That's all I know, guys, I'm sorry. But he's safe. Neil's safe."

As Allison watches Dan, Renee, and Matt settle around Abby, Matt's hands on her shoulders, Nicky hesitantly comes up to where Allison's standing, offering her a weak smile and. There. With the eight of them right there, with Neil with Wymack and Andrew, Allison stops, lets out a breath, and she finally lets herself feel it.

Okay.

Okay, she's going to go scream in the bathroom.

-

They sleep the day away in Abby's house, all of them still gathered in the living room.

Sometime after the sun's begun to rise and the stupid birds have started singing, Allison grabs a throw blanket, drops down onto the recliner, and falls fast asleep.

She wakes to a hand gently shaking her shoulder and the sound of Dan and Nicky's voices somewhere behind her.

When she pries her eyes open, the living room's lit only by one table lamp, the sky through the glass doors to the back porch pitch black. She blinks and it's Renee standing over her, a smile on her face. "They're on the phone again, come on."

Don't have to tell her twice.

She pushes herself off the recliner and, resolutely ignoring how grody she feels, walks briskly over to where the others are gathered around Abby again, Renee at her heels.

"What's going on?" she asks as soon as she reaches them.

"Hi, Allison," Neil's voice says, from what she now realizes is Abby's phone on speaker, and she's.

_Fuck._

"You little shit!" she shrieks. "You're okay!"

"More or less," he says. "It's good to talk to you all. And I'm... really sorry, Allison."

"Shut the fuck up."

"Neil here was just telling us about how he's been in the hospital all day but he's out now," Nicky says quickly, something that's trying and failing to be a smile on his face.

"Yeah, yeah, well, where are you? Where the hell have you been?!"

"West Virginia," he says lightly. "I'll explain everything when I get back, I've still got some things to take care of here."

"Like the FBI?" Matt asks, wincing. "Yeah, buddy, you gonna explain that one, too?"

"Yeah, the FBI." Neil huffs out a laugh. "Andrew says Kevin told you about my father."

Allison glances at Kevin just in time to catch the deer in the headlights look he gets at everyone else having the same idea to stare at him. He shifts on his feet.

Pfft.

"He sure did," she says. "Sang like a bird."

Aaron snorts.

Neil ignores that. "So you can probably guess what the FBI wants with me."

Unfortunately.

"Yeah, we can," Dan says in her captain voice. "Okay. You go do that, but you're sticking with Coach and Andrew, right? Do not let them keep you there longer than they have to."

This time, the smile is evident in Neil's voice. "Don't worry. They wouldn't leave me even if I wanted them to." He pauses. "Hey, Dan. I can't play in the next game, I'm sorry."

"Who the hell cares about that!" Allison says, affronted. How is he thinking about that now?

No sense of self-preservation at all, she swears.

"Yeah, dude, seriously," Matt says, leaning in closer to where Abby's holding the phone. "We can worry about that later. This is more important right now!"

"Man, don't worry about that, Neil," Dan says, smiling now. "We've got that one in the bag. Trust us."

"Yeah. Yeah, I do. Thanks, guys."

"I wouldn't have let you play anyway," Abby says cheerily. "Not after you've just been in the hospital, so don't even think about it unless you want me taking you right back there. The others can handle it while you recover."

Neil sighs. "You don't even know if I'm really hurt."

"Uh huh, anyway, call us back when you're done. And put David on the phone, will you?"

"And say hi to Andrew for us!" Nicky calls out, earning himself a chuckle from Neil.

As Abby turns off the speakerphone, Allison looks back to Renee who, with one last look toward the others, nods toward the couch. Allison follows her.

"The FBI," she says, once they're out of earshot. "That's still so insane."

"All of this is very... distressing, yes," Renee agrees, frowning as she lowers herself onto the couch. "Even knowing he's safe now..." She sighs. "Well, it's over and done with now. And they'll all be here again soon."

Allison leans against the back of the couch, her fingers just barely brushing Renee's shoulders. "Better be. Or I'm gonna be helping Abby go up there to get them back."

Renee huffs out a surprised laugh. "I'd help, too," she stage whispers. "It'd serve them right."

"Damn right it would. And Neil'd have to sit out the rest of the games in the season. The next season, too, really teach him a lesson."

"That might actually get through to him."

Allison makes a show out of tossing her hair, her face arranged into a haughty expression. "Yeah, I'm a genius."

Abby must hang up then, because it's only another moment before Kevin stomps back in to curl up in an armchair and the rest of the team wander into the kitchen for food. Dan stops to shoot Renee and Allison a questioning look, a clear invitation, but Allison only shakes her head and Renee doesn't move.

She needs a shower before she can even think of anything else.

Renee doesn't say anything, just leans back against the couch, her eyes closed. After a moment's consideration, Allison sighs and slumps over the back of the couch and against Renee, her head on her shoulder and her hands on the back of her own neck.

God, she's so damn tired. And Neil won't even be back today.

Renee runs careful fingers through her hair and Allison relaxes against her. She'll... do everything she needs to soon.

Soon. Right. She'll call her professors, too. Just. Soon.

-

Around sunset the next day, the three of them finally, fucking finally, get back.

Allison still hasn't gone to class _or_ called any of her professors. Hell, she's not even sure she's left Abby's house at all except to grab clothes at her dorm.

Whatever, it's fine. She's just stayed to make sure Neil keeps his promise, that's all. Just so she can be ready to kick his ass if he doesn't. That's all.

Abby doesn't give any of them enough warning to go out and meet them. Wymack's the one to go to meet them in the living room, the sounds of Neil and the monster's voices coming from somewhere around the kitchen.

Wymack takes one long look at them and laughs, running a hand down his chin. "Glad to see you're all still in one piece how I left ya," he says.

"Aw, Coach, don't you have any faith in us?" Matt says, grinning.

"Maybe more than I oughta have." He scratches at the stubble on his jaw. "You assholes are gonna be the death of me, I swear."

"Aw, he likes us! He really likes us!"

"Oh, shut up and sit your asses down. Don't you have show and tell with Neil now?

"Wow, he's actually going to tell the truth," Aaron deadpans, while Nicky groans and shoves his shoulder lightly.

It's enough to get them all into motion though. They rearrange themselves around the living room, leaving room at the center of the couch between Matt and Dan for Neil.

Allison settles herself into the recliner she's been sleeping in and runs a hand down her face. She's washed her face today, she's showered, she's gotten fresh clothes and makeup from her dorm... She can do bright-eyed and alert for this.

The low murmur of conversation cuts off and when she looks up, there's Andrew walking into the room. And Neil right beside him.

She takes in a startled breath.

"You really are alive," Kevin says faintly.

"Aw shit, Neil..." Dan says, among murmurs of agreement from the rest of them.

"Did your dad do that to you?" Matt asks.

"Sort of," Neil says as he makes his way to the empty spot on the couch, where Dan immediately ruffles his hair gently.

This close, Allison can see the bandages better. The whole fucking host of them.

His hands are all bandaged up, then all the way up to halfway up his forearms. And his face, _Christ,_ with a stitched up gash on his left cheek and on the other side, a bandage from the corner of his lip to halfway up his cheek. Combined with the careful way he's been moving, shielding his torso, it doesn't paint a pretty picture.

Could she get a swing in on Neil's father? Is that, like, something she could actually do to the big bad Butcher? Because she really, really wants to try.

Andrew glares at Matt until he scoots into Nicky at his side enough for him to sit beside Neil and Allison's attention abruptly snaps back to the present.

Territorial, much?

She clears her throat. "So," she drawls. "Do we get the story now?"

Andrew glares at her. She ignores him.

"Yeah, it's about time we got it."

Andrew glares at his brother, too, though less intensely.

Asshole. Nepotism, even.

Neil tells them the whole tragic fucking story. A murderous mobster for a father on the Moriyamas' payroll. The heavy-handed mother who took him and ran. His mother's death, how he came to Palmetto.

Then...

"He'd been out of prison for longer than I'd thought. We... I thought they'd let him out a few days early but." Neil grimaces. "Riko and Tetsuji's money pulled some strings again. He'd been out of Seattle for a month already," he says and Allison wonders if it's even possible to hate one person this much.

If she ever gets her hands on that little twerp Riko outside of an exy court...

With the heat in her veins, through the blood rushing in her ears, she sinks her nails into her knees and bites her tongue, before she says something everyone else will regret.

That bastard Riko.

"His henchmen took me," Neil is saying, with an apologetic look at Allison. "And Riko'd given my dad somewhere to stay near Evermore. The FBI had been watching the house in Baltimore," he explains.

"Were they expecting him to cause trouble already?" Abby asks.

"Sort of? My uncle's been working with the FBI to take my father down." He smiles. "The FBI is pretending they haven't been, officially. But he suggested watching it when he came to the States."

"Wait. Why is your uncle working with the FBI?" Kevin asks slowly, like he's afraid of the answer.

"Haven't you heard," Andrew deadpans. "His uncle's with the British mob."

"Neil," Nicky says, his eyes ridiculously wide. "You didn't think to mention that sooner? That this was some... mob versus mob thing? Jesus."

Neil smiles sheepishly. "It's not exactly that. And Andrew knew that already, too."

Nicky seems to think it over, then, "So, can you do a British accent, Neil?"

"Ugh," Andrew says eloquently.

That's such a fucking obnoxious question and response that Allison can't help but let out a quiet laugh. How does Neil put up with this guy? Either of them.

"Anyway," Dan says, though her lips are twitching, too. "Was it the FBI who helped you out of there?"

"Unofficially, with my uncle and... other members of my family. Point is, my father's dead now, thanks to them." 

"The goddamn mob," Wymack says, slumping heavily against the back of an armchair. "The goddamn mob got him out of the house his crazy fucking dad and his crazy fucking dad's lackeys had him in. And me and this guy," he says, throwing an arm out toward where Andrew's just staring blankly at him. "Just took a goddamn flight to West Virginia because 'Uncle Stuart' said we had to." He throws his hands up. "And then we get there in time to meet Neil at the hospital! Then there's the FBI and good ol' Uncle Stuart says _cheers, gotta pop back to England_ and leaves again."

"He didn't say that."

Wymack waves a hand. "So, he leaves, because he's not talking to the FBI, and leaves us there to wait for Neil to talk to them, except Andrew brute forces his way in, because, did I mention he'd just gotten out of the hospital?!"

"Ugh," Andrew groans again.

Yeah.

"It was fine," Neil says and ignores the glare he gets from Andrew. "I didn't even get hurt that bad."

"Neil, buddy," Matt says, gesturing at the bandages on Neil's right cheek. "We really need to work on your definition of 'not that bad,' if that's your idea of it."

"It could have been worse!"

Slowly, so very slowly, Andrew reaches out to put his hand over Neil's mouth. "No," he says. "Do not say that."

Neil rolls his eyes and bats his hand away. "I'm fine."

Andrew mutters something she doesn't catch and glares at _her_ , too, when she gives him a curious look.

There's an idea.

"Neil," Allison says. "Not that I can't understand the impulse right now, but can you control your boyfriend? We're just talking to you, no need for the dirty looks."

From the look Neil gives her, she can tell he knows exactly what she's doing.

But rather than ignore her, he just grins, bright and sharp, and, "I don't control him," he says. And it's not a denial.

The uproar is immediate.

"Hell yeah, suckers!" Allison calls out, holding her arms up, while Matt cackles in his seat.

Abby's hiding a smile behind her hand and Kevin, somehow, doesn't look surprised, even though he's just lost a nice chunk of change.

"Holy shit," Dan's voice eventually rises above the rest. "They really are together? Neil!" She throws an arm around his shoulders and ruffles his hair, not even paying attention to the way Andrew's glare gets turned on her now. "Neil, Neil, I'm happy for you. Even if it is him."

Neil huffs out a laugh and leans into Dan's arm. "Dan..."

"Okay, okay, I won't say anything about him! _We_ won't say anything, right, guys?"

"Not a word!" Matt laughs.

"I don't wanna know," Wymack says, sighing.

The look on his face is so tragically stuck between pained and amused, that Allison turns to Renee beside her just to keep herself from laughing.

"Boyfriend," Nicky says after a beat, sounding way too delighted about that. "Glad to have that confirmed!"

Aaron makes a face at him, which Nicky ignores, while Andrew does a remarkably good job of pretending he's not even in the room.

Overall, a good reaction to her little gamble there.

So. Dan bet against. Kevin bet against. Renee abstained. Matt and Nicky bet along with Allison and Aaron's "Oh my god, fuck off," from two weeks ago doesn't count as a bet either way, so.

Not the best payout she's gotten, but it's not half bad either.

She aims a smile at Neil.

"You're all going to be busy tomorrow," Neil says then around a yawn. "I can't keep distracting you."

"Neil," Renee says pleasantly. "Don't say that. We're here because we want to be."

He shrugs, a funny little look on his face, but he doesn't argue.

There's a few more explanations, how Neil's officially Neil Josten now, how the FBI should leave him mostly alone now, but it's all less important, as far as Allison's concerned.

Even if... even if the guilt's still there.

-

It isn't until they're having dinner at Abby's house the day before the game against Binghamton, Neil's bandages still just as stark on him, that someone brings up changing their plans for spring break.

Katelyn's dropped by on Abby's invitation and it's her, of all people, who brings it up.

It's a little after she slides into the seat right next to Neil's and quickly tries to pull him into a conversation, earning herself a bemused smile and stilted conversation from him and Aaron glowering at Neil. Which is... Cute, if disgusting. All they need is Nicky introducing Erik to the rest of them now and they really won't be able to escape the extended monster family.

Whatever.

"You must be looking forward to spring break," Katelyn says to the table at large. "I know I would be. Getting the chance to just get away as a group after all of that..." She sighs, resting her chin on one hand. "It's been such a crazy year for all of you."

Silence for a moment, as Allison's sure everyone remembers at once that they do not actually have plans together. That's a problem. That's definitely a problem.

"No," Kevin says immediately. "No, we're not going anywhere. We'd be too far from the court."

"I don't think so," Abby says sternly. She sets her hands down on the table, her mouth turned down in a frown. "No, Kevin, don't give me that look. None of you are stepping one foot on that court during break."

"She's right," Wymack says before anyone (Kevin) can protest, holding his hands up. "No, I mean it. I swear, if I catch any of you on the court after the game tomorrow, after all of this shit, I'll ban you from the finals myself. Do not test me. You all better find something else to do."

Kevin sighs. "We can't afford to slack off now. It's bad enough we haven't had practice most of this week, we cannot--"

"A team vacation would be nice," Neil says lightly, effectively cutting off the rest of the conversation. "If the rest of you don't have plans already."

Kevin takes only a moment to recover. "A team vacation," he says skeptically. "When we can't even play exy? I fail to see how that'd help us."

"Team bonding," Dan says suddenly, loudly. "It'll be team bonding. We can always use that, right? You know what, I had plans, but I don't care about those anymore. How about the rest of you? Thoughts?"

"Some time away would be lovely, I think." Renee smiles. "Everyone deserves a chance to relax after everything."

"Yeah! Yeah, that'd be great!" Matt agrees. "Fuck what I had planned, this is a better idea!"

Allison hums, already pulling out her phone. "All right, all of you shut up a minute. I'm getting my travel agent on the line. How do you feel about the mountains, Neil?"

"But we can't just--"

"Kevin," Andrew says, shooting him a bored look. "Team. Vacation." Somehow, he manages not to sound absolutely disgusted as he says it, even though he must be feeling that way.

Kevin shuts up.

Fuck it, they're going to the mountains.

-

Neil, without his guard dog, finds her that night in the deserted Fox Tower lobby.

"Shouldn't you be resting?" she asks him pointedly, not standing up from where she's sprawled on one of the uncomfortable plastic chairs.

He shrugs. "I was looking for you," he says as he lowers himself onto the chair next to hers.

Allison sighs and straightens up in her chair. Okay. Sure. They're doing this.

"Allison," he says, while she's still deciding what to say, and getting pissed off at herself for not knowing what to say.

"What?"

"I'm sorry."

She turns to look at him, wide-eyed. "Excuse me?"

"I'm sorry you had to get involved like that. I didn't..." He huffs out a breath, his mouth turning down in a frown. "I didn't want them to get near any of you guys."

"Hold the fuck up. You're apologizing to me? To me?!" She spreads her arms wide. "I'm not the one who got kidnapped!"

But he only shakes his head. "I knew that might happen, Allison," he says heatedly. "I was prepared, but not for them to get near any of you--"

She can't deal with.

She shoots up to her feet. "You fucking idiot! I let them take you," she chokes out.

He doesn't move. "Because I asked you to!"

"And since when do I do what people ask me to?"

She's breathing heavily by now and she doesn't... It's not like she's...

"Didn't you tell me you'd kick my ass if I kept blaming myself for you getting hurt?"

Fuck, she hates the fact that just makes all the fight drain out of her.

God, she's just so _tired._

Allison sighs. "I might have said something like that. Maybe."

Neil does stand now, carefully reaching a hand up to pat her shoulder. He smiles at her, the movement visibly pulling at his bandages. "I'm happy to be back with all of you," he says, voice so earnest Allison wants to look away.

Then he's pulling back and away, leaving a careful foot of distance between the two of them. "You should go to bed," he says.

Right. Right, that's enough feelings for one night.

It doesn't... She doesn't feel great, still, really, but. Whatever. Vacation. She'll have plenty of time to think about it on vacation.

Allison scoffs. "Look, who's talking. Come on, get in the elevator with me."

* * *

"I think Katelyn's trying to make friends with me," Neil tells Andrew their first night in the rental, and he can honestly say he wasn't expecting that one. "She's with her family for spring break now and she's still texting me."

It's not like he disliked the Katelyn he once knew, or even like Andrew never learned to tolerate her, but Aaron gave him such dirty looks every time they talked that he figured it was better to avoid the whole thing. They were... family, yes, sure, but family that only spoke a couple times a year.

Andrew sits up on the bed. "Why?" he asks slowly. "You were never friends before."

"She was your sister-in law, Andrew."

"We were still four months away from the wedding."

Neil rolls his eyes. "She's going to be your sister-in-law, Andrew."

"Perhaps with less time sneaking around now they'll lose interest," Andrew deadpans.

"Yeah, I don't think that's gonna happen." Neil lets himself fall backwards onto the bed, then lets Andrew tap at his shoulder for a moment or two before he scoots higher up and rests his head on his shoulder. "I think I won't even have to talk you into going to their wedding this time."

Andrew groans. "No."

"Exactly," Neil says like Andrew's agreed. "I don't have to talk you into it."

Andrew groans again. "I will not be talked into it. Shut up."

Neil smiles. "Maybe if you could find something else for me to be doing..."

The look Andrew gives him doesn't look nearly as unimpressed as he would have the first time around at this point.

And it's that realization that has Neil pulling away and sitting up on his elbows to look at Andrew, and what has him leaning down to him instead, chasing the warmth in his chest that Andrew always puts there.

Andrew cups his left cheek and surges up against him, meeting him in a slow kiss. His free hand makes its way to Neil's lower back, heavy and familiar. His thumb brushes against his cheek, steering clear of the stitches.

He pulls back before deepening the kiss, staring up at Neil silently. Holding himself up on his elbows on either side of him, Neil stares back steadily.

"That was too close," he says, tapping under Neil's stitches, where there once would have been a number, then a burn scar.

Neil huffs out a short laugh. "It's not as bad as it could've been." He rolls his eyes. "Lola wasn't feeling as creative this time, I guess." And if saying her name still sends an unpleasant shiver down his spine, it's fine. It's easy to forget it when he's got Andrew's warmth right under him. "And it's over now. All we have to deal with now is beating the Ravens at their own game."

"Ichirou," Andrew reminds him, with that little divot between his eyebrows.

But Neil only smiles. "Riko threw me to my father's men." At Andrew's confused look, he says, "Don't you see? This gives my uncle leverage. Maybe we really can slip the leash this time."

Andrew blinks slowly at him. "Oh," he says at length. He hums, thinking it over as he looks away, then back at Neil. "I see."

"Yes. So for now..."

He laughs again as, eyes dark, Andrew lifts his chin and leans back in.

Neil presses closer and opens easily to Andrew's tongue at the seam of his mouth. And it's as easy as it's always been to get lost in Andrew's heavy kisses, it's easy to forget the rest of the world around them, even the rest of the Foxes spread out around the rest of the house.

Later, he wakes with Andrew's head on his chest, to the the distant sounds of the Foxes beginning to wake around the house, and he's not even worried about Riko, the Ravens, the Moriyamas in general.

They'll make this work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next one's the last one! I'm aiming for Monday, but it might end up being as late as Wednesday, because... Final chapter means I will not rest until I've read through it at least half a dozen more times I guess lmfao
> 
> Thanks again, everybody!
> 
> I also accidentally pressed post too soon so, haha, don't mind me if you refresh and suddenly any typos disappear.....


	7. Kevin + Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter!
> 
> Warnings: References to the abuse Kevin and Jean experienced at Evermore and some references to the events of last chapter. Feel free to let me know if you think I've forgotten anything!

It's too close to the end to be wasting time.

A vacation. Seriously? When they're so close to their rematch against Edgar Allan? When Riko already forcibly pulled them off the court during his stunt with Wesninski?

They can't be serious. They just cannot.

Kevin spends the whole first day mentally drafting his plans for practice once they return to Palmetto, just to keep himself from descending into a panic. He can't act like nothing's wrong the way all of the rest of them are, like Neil's bandages are just from an unfortunate accident and not... not... _All of that._

He'll run the plans by Dan and Wymack when they get back. They're good plans, he doubts they'll take issue with them.

The point is it helps settle his nerves.

The evening of the second day of their vacation, Neil sits next to him in the empty den, Andrew in sight but out of earshot with Renee, and says, "When are you going to tell Coach?"

Kevin sets down the drink Nicky so graciously gave him to frown at Neil. "What?"

"When are you going to tell Coach?" Neil repeats. "About your mother."

Kevin stares at him, uncomprehending.

Between one blink and the next, he thinks, _he knows,_ his heart in his throat.

But no. No, it's not that. He's jumping to conclusions.

"What are you talking about? What about my mother?" he asks. It's nothing. He's worrying over things he doesn't need to worry about.

Neil gives him a pitying look. "He deserves to know he has a son, Kevin."

Kevin freezes and his heart does a strange little leap in his chest now and.

Fuck.

How does he always know these things?

"Why the hell would I do that, Neil?!" he hisses, but Neil isn't deterred.

"It'll come out eventually," Neil says. "If it's not you, it'll be the Moriyamas. You know they longer this goes, the fewer punches they'll pull."

"Whatever happened to he deserves to know? Now it's it'll come out anyway?" Kevin snaps.

What right does he have to demand this anyway?

Neil doesn't answer.

Kevin slumps in his seat. "No, it won't. I don't even have proof," he says faintly, not even bothering to beat around the bush anymore. "I had a letter from my mother, but I left it at Evermore."

Neil frowns. "Right. Right, it's at Evermore." He brings one bandaged hand up to his chin, his face considering. "He's Wymack. He'll believe you even without it," he says, like that's any kind of certainty.

"Why would he?" Kevin winces at the way his own voice breaks, but he carries on regardless. "There's a difference between giving me a chance and believing I'm his son, of all things."

Neil frowns up at him. "Then how about... Renee's trying to get Jean out of the Nest, right? He can bring back the letter with him if you let him know. If he doesn't believe you, he'd believe your mother, right? Besides, you can get a DNA test, too, if you're that worried about it." He blinks slowly up at Kevin, because he thinks he's Andrew now or something. "Can't you?"

Kevin swallows. He tries to come up with an argument against that, something Neil wouldn't just keep pushing and pushing and pushing on, and comes back empty. Great. Absolutely fantastic. "Yes," he says reluctantly. "I can do that." He narrows his eyes at Neil. "How do you even know about this? Did Jean tell you? Has he been texting you, too?"

"Not exactly."

"Neil."

Neil sighs. "Does it matter?"

"Yes, Neil," he says tersely. "It matters how you found out something very few people are supposed to know. It matters how you always seem to know things very few people are supposed to know."

"I went to Evermore and found out," Neil deadpans.

Kevin does not grind his teeth, but it's a close thing.

"You did not go to Evermore." He pauses as a horrifying thought hits him. "Wait. Did your father take you to Evermore? I thought you said something about a house?! Was Riko there?!"

Neil sighs again, louder this time, because he lives to make Kevin's life difficult. "No, Kevin, he wasn't. It's..." He purses his lips. "It's kind of hazy, I got beat up," he says wryly. "But I... made a stop there, sort of, and I found out some things. It's not important. I haven't told anyone," he assures him.

He doesn't actually feel reassured.

"Except Andrew?"

Neil considers that for a moment, and concedes, "Andrew knows. But you know he won't tell anyone."

They're living in each other's pockets, he swears. It'd be annoying, if not for the fact that he knows Neil's right. Andrew would never tell a soul unless he had to. He barely even talks at all these days unless he has to.

"Okay," he says stiffly. "I know he won't. Did he find out when you did?"

"Sort of," Neil says. "I didn't tell him, if that's what you're asking. I honestly haven't told anyone."

That does actually help, to know that Neil's kept his secret, even before Kevin even knew he'd found out. It's how he can look him in the eye now and say, "I don't know how to tell him."

Neil shrugs. "Just tell him. You know Coach. He'll appreciate it if you don't beat around the bush."

"He will not appreciate any of this. _Or_ your meddling, for that matter."

"Give him a chance, Kevin. Think about it." The corner of Neil's mouth pulls into a small lopsided smile. "He likes my meddling, anyway."

Kevin rolls his eyes. "Doubtful." Still, he does stop to think it over a moment and...

And there's a reason he came to South Carolina, specifically. He did... He did want to meet his father. But isn't that enough? Isn't it enough for him to have gotten to meet and know his father?

He had a reason not to tell him at first, right? So he wouldn't go looking for trouble with the Moriyamas by trying to help Kevin, so...

So is it fair to pull him even deeper into all the shit with the Moriyamas than he already has? Or, he thinks with a lurch of his stomach, is it already too late for that? Is Wymack as irrevocably tied to this whole business as Kevin is? As Neil?

He doesn't know.

He doesn't _want_ to know.

But there's a reason he came to South Carolina, to Palmetto, to David Wymack, specifically.

Kevin grunts. "So you think I could ask Renee to tell Jean?"

"She'd tell him."

"Then I'll think about it," he says tightly. He rubs at his arm through his sleeve, thinking, opens his mouth, closes it again, then opens it again. "He'd probably appreciate a DNA test, too. So... So none of the Moriyamas can try to say otherwise."

"Great." Neil, the insufferable asshole, actually smiles. Because, again, he lives to make Kevin's life difficult.

Neil leans forward where he's sitting, his hands held loosely in his lap now. "Kevin. He'll be happy it's you."

Please. If only he could believe that.

Still, he's not going to mope about it in front of Neil. Absolutely not.

Kevin waves a hand vaguely at Neil, then nods toward where Andrew's shooting the occasional glance at them while talking to Renee. "I'm thinking about it, Neil. Your boyfriend's waiting for you."

Neil shoots him an amused glance, but once again, does not deny it. Instead, he says, "We prefer partner."

And he says it in such a tone that Kevin reaches for his drink--what even is in it? Nicky didn't even tell him. Doesn't matter. He can't deal with this without some extra help.

"You haven't even known each other for a year."

"You could say that."

No. No, he's not even going to try to figure that one out. Andrew and Neil already give him enough headaches, especially when he can't exactly stray too far away from then, with the threat of--

No. He's thinking about it again.

Anyway, it'd be almost sweet, if the both of them weren't so damn annoying and committed to driving Kevin out of his mind.

And, truthfully, if it hadn't lost him money.

Ugh, Allison and Nicky still haven't shut up about it.

Kevin shakes his head. Forget that. He's got too much to think about and not enough to do.

Why couldn't Allison's father's travel agent get them a place near an exy court?

He gives Neil a long, slow look and Neil holds his bandaged hands up, not quite smiling. "I'll let you and your drink have some time alone," he says, and pushes himself off the coffee table.

Kevin doesn't move from his seat.

-

Allison corners him early on the third day, out on the deck, where he's made the mistake of sitting in a rocking chair in her line of sight.

Not a moment of peace with these assholes, he swears.

"There you are!" she says, artfully arranging herself into the chair beside his. "I've been looking for you."

He squints at her suspiciously. "Why? I gave you your money."

"And thank you so much for that! But that's still kind of what this is about."

Kevin makes an impatient sound and gestures for her to get on with it.

She twists sideways in her chair to look at him head-on, setting her elbows on the armrest.

"You took losing that bet pretty well, Day," she says. "Way too well for someone who lost that much money."

Oh. Oh, that's what this is about.

Already, he's tired of this conversation.

He sighs deeply. "Yes, well, I was expecting it by then. Three days after Texas, it hit me." He rolls his eyes. "They got very, very obvious."

As if they were trying to spite him, Kevin doesn't say.

Allison cackles, loud enough that Aaron peeks his head out of the doorway to the kitchen to glare at them. "You can't just say that and not explain! What'd they do?"

"Be themselves," he says mournfully. How else could he possibly put it?

Allison only laughs louder. "Well? Details, Day, details!"

"I don't think so! I've seen enough already!" He huffs and waves a hand in the air. "Haven't you just... Haven't you seen the way they're always all over each other?"

Allison gives him a long look. "I've never even seen them kiss."

"Not that way. I mean..." He stops, grasping for the right words to describe how _awful_ they are. All the time. "I think they were hiding it for a while, then they stopped giving a shit. I've never seen them kiss either, but they're..."

"Really intense?" Allison drawls.

He frowns. "Too intense."

Why Allison laughs again at that, he has no idea.

"I don't think they were hiding it all," Allison says. "You just noticed because they're both your roommates now. They've been acting like they forget the rest of us are even here for ages now."

"I suppose I do see them together more often now," he says carefully. Have they really always been that way? Surely, he'd have noticed it sooner. "But there are other things. I'd never stopped to think about it before, because they weren't being quite so blatant about it, but they sleep in the same room when we go to Nicky's house in Columbia! _After_ spending the whole time in Eden's Twilight attached at the hip! Every time we go there!"

Allison's eyes light up. "Any idea when that started?"

"No?" Didn't they just cover this? "I just told you, they weren't being obvious about it. I don't know when it started."

"Because they've always been weirdly intense about each other, right."

Kevin opens his mouth to argue, then thinks better of it. No, that's...

She's not wrong about that part. When he thinks back, past the haze of panic that only grew after learning Neil's identity, he can acknowledge that... Yes. Yes, they have always been somewhat--very--weird about each other. And just where the hell was Neil sleeping during their first few trips to Columbia anyway? He certainly hadn't been in any of the other chairs when Kevin had been sleeping on the couch.

But it's just... It just doesn't _fit._ Something still isn't adding up.

"But I was there when they met. And the way they act around each other hasn't exactly changed since then," he says and... Yes. That's part of it, he decides.

"Ooh, love at first sight," Allison says dryly and Kevin makes a face.

"No." He shakes his head. "No, definitely not."

"I hate to agree with you. And, trust me, I really, really do," Allison says, grinning. "But, yeah, I can't see them doing the love at first sight thing." She pauses, tapping her manicured fingernails against her jaw. "It still means they moved real fucking fast though. Maybe a couple months? They were definitely together by Christmas, or Matt might've been able to convince Neil to go to New York."

It takes everything Kevin has not to roll his eyes. Then he does it anyway. "Why do you even care?"

She sighs and looks at him like he's stupid--which is one of her more irritating looks, if you ask Kevin. "I've got a bet with Matt riding on this, okay? Matt might actually succeed at getting Neil to tell him if I'm not fast enough and the monster's not about to talk to me about all of this. So. You."

"I love being your last choice," Kevin says. And he means it. Wholeheartedly.

Please, he does not want to be bothered with any of this.

Allison scoffs. "Whatever. You've been helpful enough, I guess. I mean, if Neil won't..."

"If I won't what?" Neil himself, Andrew a step behind him, exits onto the desk, a mug of coffee held gingerly in his hands. He gives Kevin and Allison an expectant look. "Morning."

Kevin turns a sour look on Neil.

But Allison winks at him, grinning widely. "We were just talking about you, Neil!"

"Yeah?"

Neil considers the chair by Allison's, but before he can sit, Andrew pushes another one to face both her and Kevin. He glares at them when they look at him and goes to smoke further down the deck, though still in earshot.

And still facing the rest of them, predictably.

When, while ignoring Allison's low laughter, Kevin turns his questioning look on him, Neil only shrugs and takes the seat Andrew moved for him.

"If I won't what?" he asks again, voice mild.

"That was cute," Allison says with undisguised interest. "He taking good care of you while you're hurt?"

"Yeah?" Neil says, sounding confused about the questions. "I'm okay, I don't need any taking care of. But he's there with me."

"Aw, that's adorable!" It's Nicky's voice that joins them now, looking a little worse for wear at the early hour, but still dragging a still disgruntled-looking Aaron out with him. "Jesus, Neil, you can't give me a heart attack like this so early in the morning!"

Neil gives him a bemused look. "I didn't do anything?"

"Oh, but you did! You did! Saying such sweet things about my dear cousin!" Nicky exclaims, holding a hand to his chest as he lowers himself to perch on the edge of one of the side tables on the deck.

Kevin rolls his eyes again. Nicky clearly doesn't notice.

"You're both just so sweet together, I can't even be disappointed you didn't tell us sooner."

Sweet. Really? Has everybody lost their minds?

Nicky glances at Andrew, catches sight of the heavy glare aimed at him, and promptly turns his head right back around and pretends he didn't see it, judging by the strained smile he aims at the rest of them. 

"Anyway. It's cute."

Aaron, on the floor by Kevin's chair, groans. "I really don't want to hear about Josten dating my twin, Nicky," he grumbles. "Or how fucking sweet they're not."

"Aw, but why?"

Aaron makes a disgusted sound at Nicky. "He's my brother? And he has my face!"

"He wears it better," Neil says lightly.

Aaron stares at him, thunderstruck, then pretends to gag.

Very mature.

Kevin rolls his eyes yet again.

"Fuck what Aaron thinks," Allison says with a sneer. She flicks her fingers between Neil and where Andrew's stubbing out his cigarette, turning around in her chair to face them properly. "I want to hear about this. Just _when_ did this start, Neil? When do we get to hear about that?"

Neil exchanges a significant look with Andrew. And they'd...

Shit, they'd been doing that from the start, too, right? What the fuck?

How.

"I don't know why you want to hear about it," Neil says with an innocent look Kevin doesn't believe for a second. "Didn't you already win your bet?"

Nicky snickers. "And Kevin lost his."

Kevin huffs. "That doesn't matter."

Allison waves that off. "Not the point right now, assholes. Come on, Neil, how long has this been going on?"

Neil hums. "Long enough. Right, Andrew?"

Andrew, predictably, glares at all of them. But that and a shrug of his shoulders are the only reactions he has, which is... unpredictable unless it's Neil?

Kevin rubs his forehead. How did he miss this again? Hasn't he been their roommate for months now? Along with Nicky, who'd bet that...

Oh, this is so annoying.

"Enough!" Aaron says when Allison begins speaking again, burying his face in his hands. "I don't need to know about this."

"Oh, don't worry about it," Allison tells him, her voice nothing short of gleeful. "You can just tell us about you and Katelyn next. I've just been dying to know how you hid that one from your brother."

"He didn't," Andrew says blandly.

Aaron groans. "I'm not fucking awake enough for this."

Kevin considers, not for the first time today, just heading the fuck back to bed.

When Dan wanders in a few minutes later, easily convinced into joining in on Allison's game, and when Neil, silent but with his eyes shining, doesn't discourage it, he knows that is absolutely his only choice.

Christ, but they're all useless.

-

Kevin wakes up on the fourth day to find Renee missing.

It doesn't make sense, why Andrew would just let her take his car to who knows where, but when Neil gathers them all in the den, it all becomes much, much clearer than he ever wanted it to be.

Kengo Moriyama is dead.

That alone is enough to have Kevin breaking out into a cold sweat where he sits between Matt and Aaron.

All at once, all he can think of is the Moriyamas' next move. What will Ichirou do, when he takes over? How will Riko react? Will Andrew be able to protect him from Riko? From Ichirous?

Is it too late to get everyone else out of the blast radius?

He can't, he can't, he can't do this.

Maybe... Maybe if...

If he doesn't tell Wymack the truth, maybe it won't be too late. Maybe he'll still let Kevin go, eventually, when the Moriyamas come for him--disappointed to have lost another of his Foxes, but still whole and alive.

He can still spare Wymack the worst of this. He can still spare one person the worst of this.

He can spare one person, he decides, even as he has to shove his hands under his thighs to hide the way they shake.

But Jean puts a wrench in that.

Because what Neil says next is somehow better and exponentially worse.

Renee's gone to get Jean. She's gone to fucking get Jean from _Evermore,_ now, of all times. She's gone to fucking get him, as if Riko and the Master would ever let her.

As if Kengo dying isn't the blade finally falling onto each and every one of their necks.

No.

It's too late. Wymack and the Foxes won't let him go now.

They're all going down.

He only barely hears the rest of Neil's explanation. He absolutely does not hear the rest of the Foxes' reactions, ranging from shock to anger to worry.

He doesn't. He can't. All he's got is the haze of fear and dread and panic that's descended over him, burning out anything else he could possibly feel. Holding himself carefully away from both Matt and Aaron, he focuses on not shaking apart in front of the rest of the team.

It's not working very well.

By the time Neil's done, it's all nothing but noise to him. But it's over. He can leave the room, he can get the hell away from the suddenly stifling presence of his teammates.

So Kevin stands up, nods at Neil, nods at Andrew, and nods at the room at large. Then he climbs the stairs in a rush, locks himself in his room, and lets himself shake apart.

How is he going to tell Wymack now?

-

He's bursting with questions by the time Renee gets back, alone.

"Where's Jean? How is he?" he demands in lieu of a greeting as soon as she steps into the den, where everyone else has gathered again.

"With Abby," she says, a slight frown on her face. "He's not very well right now, but she's helping him."

He nods jerkily and turns that over in his mind, letting the others question her further. Jean's hurt. All right. All right, he expected that. But... But how did she even get him out? Renee explains how her mother got them into Evermore, but it still just doesn't make sense.

They shouldn't have been able to find Jean injured, the Master would have covered his tracks as well as he could, no matter what the president of Edgar Allan said.

But then, "No, Coach Moriyama was, is, in New York for his brother's funeral," Renee says. Her mouth twists. "Riko wasn't invited."

No.

"No," he chokes out.

Because no. No, no. This isn't just Jean getting hurt anymore. This is Riko taking _everything_ out on Jean now. This is...

This should be a hospital, not Abby, he thinks frantically, even as he remembers exactly why it can't be a hospital.

No, no, no.

Jean doesn't deserve this.

The conversation goes on. He manages to pull himself together long enough to talk about Jean's contract and how Edgar Allan let Kevin go from his. He stays present long enough to hear Renee suggest that Jean transfer schools and.

No.

"I can't give him false hope and tell him to come to Palmetto," Kevin says weakly. "We can't keep him safe here. Andrew won't."

Andrew won't. He won't follow him around the way he follows Kevin around, especially not with the level of disdain he tends to show whenever Jean is brought up.

And, a smaller part of him whispers, would Kevin really be able to handle having another Raven in Palmetto? Or would his presence just send his mind down roads it's better off not taking again?

No. He can't do it.

"I know he won't," Renee says as Andrew lifts a shoulder in a shrug, but stays silent. "I know. But I'm not asking him for help in this," she says firmly. "I'm the one who got him out. He's my responsibility for now. He can't go back to his family, after all..."

"It doesn't have to be just you," Andrew says. At Renee's questioning look, he shakes his head. "I still don't mean me."

"He means Kevin," Neil finishes for him. "Kevin will talk to Jean."

"Me?! I can't protect him!"

"Not telling you to," Andrew says shortly.

"Then what?" he asks, at a loss.

"Talk to Jean," Neil says, more firmly this time. He fixes a withering look on Kevin. "You already left him with Riko once. Are you going to let him go back to him again? You know what will happen to him if he does."

Kevin shakes his head, taking a step back. "But I can't... There's nothing I can do, Neil! You know that!"

There isn't! Who is he, after all, when compared to fear of Riko? Who is he to Jean in comparison to the knowledge of what Riko can do to him? He can't save Jean.

"No," Neil stays, taking a step forward. He's got his bandages off today, letting the wounds air out, and it does nothing to alleviate the way his very presence suddenly seems to loom over Kevin--and neither does his height, he thinks a little hysterically. That pipsqueak.

"He'll listen to you. Find your spine for once and keep him here, Kevin. That's all you have to do to actually keep him alive now." He gives him a hard look. "You want him to stay alive, right? So you're going to do what you have to, right? Or are you just going to let him go back and let whatever happens to him be on your hands?"

He forgets, sometimes, just how much of a bastard Neil can be. No wonder Andrew likes him so much.

"I mean," Matt cuts in for the first time in a while. "It shouldn't be a problem, right? Weren't you and Jean friends?"

Friends. Sure. As much as anyone could be friends in the Nest.

Sure.

"Kevin," Renee says when he doesn't answer. "Anything you think you can do..."

Kevin takes in a shuddering breath. "I'll do what I can," he says and doesn't recognize his own voice. There isn't anything. He squeezes his eyes shut and shakes his head. "We're leaving soon. I'm going to pack."

He hates this. So much.

So, of course, Neil just follows him all the way back to his room when he flees.

He's barely collapsed onto his bed, his head in his hands, when Neil's strolling right in like he owns the place, setting himself a careful distance away from him on the mattress.

Neil doesn't speak. And Kevin tries to hold out. He presses his lips together and pushes the words right back behind his teeth, but the longer Neil stays silent, the harder it is to keep them from breaking free.

Finally, he breaks.

"Neil," he says, lifting his head to look at him, running his hands through his hair and back. "How? _How_ do you think I'm supposed to do this? How do you do it? Any of this?"

Neil frowns at him. "I have to do it. And I know this isn't going to be forever."

"What?"

Neil drums his fingers against his thigh. "One way or another, this will all end soon, Kevin. This is just one year we have to get through."

"Or more!" Kevin looks at him beseechingly. "How aren't you scared, Neil? After your father and the FBI... Hell, now that Ichirou's taken over! We don't know what he'll want to do with us. What does it matter if this only lasts a while if they have us killed at the end of it?"

Neil takes in an audible breath. "Because we have to get through this, Kevin. I'm more scared of losing everything I've found here than of the Moriyamas. What's scarier to you? Facing Riko or losing everything you have here?" He leans forward. "The future you could have here?"

Kevin shakes. "We'll die either way," he says faintly.

There's a dangerous gleam in Neil's eye as he says, so softly, "Then pick which death you prefer. And do it before you try to convince Jean of anything."

"Neil."

Neil only shakes his head. "You can't keep running, Kevin. It's coming to meet us now."

Neil stands and slips away from the room and Kevin doesn't protest this time. He said something similar when Kevin first confronted him about him being Nathaniel Wesninski, didn't he?

It seemed like too much then. It still seems like too much now.

It seems like far, far too much when they get to Abby's house and she leads him to the room Jean is in. Kevin spent the whole ride there thinking of what to say to him, and what to say to Wymack after. And now, even facing a bandaged up Jean Moreau in Abby's guest room, the words get stuck in his throat.

He thinks he might have a solution, after texting Renee for half the trip back, and after a few pointed comments from Neil, but.

But.

The wary look Jean fixes him with isn't exactly welcoming, but he doesn't tell him to fuck off--he'd never, not with Riko's hierarchy so firmly entrenched in his mind--so Kevin takes that as the only invitation he's likely to get and closes the door behind him, comforted somewhat by Neil and Andrew's presence out in the hallway.

He sits on the edge of the bed, by Jean's feet, and before he can lose what nerve he's managed to gather, he talks.

"You can't go back," he says with no preamble, in French to ward off any non-Neil eavesdroppers.

Jean looks away from him, at the wall past Kevin. "You know there is no choice. They let me go, but they will want me back."

Kevin wipes his sweaty palms on his jeans. "Then don't give them the chance," he says, voice much steadier than his heart. "Stay somewhere they can't reach you."

"Here?" Jean sneers. "Where they lead the Butcher to his son?"

He swallows and shakes his head. "Farther away. They're too focused on PSU."

"France, then?" Jean says sardonically.

Kevin scowls. "California," he snaps. "I'm going to talk to Jeremy Knox and Coach Rhemann about you transferring there."

Jean stares at him. "Don't be ridiculous. They won't care as long as that contract exists."

"I'm serious," Kevin says, willing a certainty he doesn't feel into his voice. "They wouldn't dare touch you there, Jean. It's too far and surrounded by too many high profile people to be worth it."

"They won't take me," Jean says, but he sounds less sure this time.

"You know what Jeremy's like. He'll jump at the chance." And as he says it, Kevin realizes he believes it. He does. Jeremy and Coach Rhemann might not have the full story, but he knows what they're like. They'd never hang Jean out to dry.

Face drawn, Jean shakes his head. "You're dreaming."

"No. No, I'm not," he says, finding unexpected confidence with every word. Yes. This is something he can and will do. He stands up, already turning over what to say in his head. "I'll be back as soon as I've spoken to them. They will take you."

Jean scoffs.

Kevin doesn't let that deter him. He's halfway to the door when Jean calls him back, something different about his voice now. Kevin turns around and Jean presses a piece of paper into his hand, a damningly familiar piece of paper.

"Renee told me you would need this," he says, voice heavy. "Don't do anything foolish."

It's a warning, and not a bad one, but he thinks he might have to ignore it this time.

Not that he's ever paid as much attention to Jean as he should, he realizes with a guilty swoop in his stomach.

"I'm doing what I have to do," he whispers. He squeezes Jean's hand. "I'll see you again soon."

Then he's slipping out of the room and closing the door quietly behind him, face to face with Andrew and Neil once more.

They stare at each other.

Neil gives him a significant look then from where he's standing against the wall and asks, "Should we wait for you while you talk to Wymack? Or are you coming back with us now?"

Kevin swallows. The sudden confidence drains out of him all at once. Wymack. Right. "No," he says before he can truly come to a decision. He could say he's not doing it now. He could put it off, but. No. He knows why he's suggesting it now. "No, I... I'll be here a while. Go back to Fox Tower."

Andrew gives him a searching look and, after a silence that's entirely too long, nods slowly. "Call us."

Kevin nods jerkily.

He watches Neil make his and Andrew's goodbyes to Wymack and Abby, then watches them leave the house, the rest of the team having already cleared out while he was talking to Jean.

Abby looks between him and the door those two just went through. "I'll go check on Jean, then, and you can see him again after that," she says and he suspects she's misinterpreting the reason he's stayed behind. He can't see Jean again yet. "Let me know if you need anything?"

He nods quickly and doesn't correct her assumption. "Thanks, Abby. I'll see myself out soon."

"Oh, don't give me that," she calls out over her shoulder even as she's halfway down the hall. "David will give you a ride back to the dorms. Sit tight there!"

Then they're left alone.

Kevin shifts on his feet and, just when it looks like Wymack is about to speak, he blurts it out.

"Coach. I need to tell you something."

Wymack raises his eyebrows at him. "All right. Just tell me you haven't gotten yourself into more trouble."

He tries to reach for his practiced, camera-ready smile, but it's never come easily around Wymack. "I probably haven't."

Wymack points a finger at him. "That," he says. "Does not sound reassuring." With a searching look at Kevin, he goes on, "Come on, I get the feeling we're gonna need to sit for this one."

They definitely are, he thinks half-hysterically as he follows Wymack to the kitchen table. In fact, he thinks he'd like to sink into a chair and never get up again.

He should've asked Nicky to make him one last daiquiri before they left the mountains.

Wymack lets him sit in silence at first, watching him from the seat across from Kevin's. All too soon, he says, "All right, what's going on? Don't make me drag it out of you."

It's an empty threat. Kevin could stand up and leave right now and Wymack would only protest a little before letting him go.

He considers doing just that. Standing up and leaving, calling Andrew, and telling Neil he's changed his mind. He won't do it, no matter what he and Andrew say.

But all it takes is one more look at Wymack's expectant face to have him keeping still.

Okay. He's doing this.

Kevin reaches to touch the letter where he stuffed it into his jacket pocket and, taking a deep breath, pulls it out and slaps it against the table. He winces--that was definitely rougher than he meant--but he doesn't pull his hand back.

"This is a letter my mother once sent the Master..." He shakes his head, nostrils flaring. "Coach Moriyama. It's not in English, but I can translate. It's about the father of her child."

Wymack sits very, very still. "Your father, huh? Does it say who he is?"

"Yes."

Wymack scrubs a hand across his jaw. "Well, I'll be. I was damn sure Kayleigh never told anyone who it was. What is it then? You want me to help you find him?"

Kevin swallows past the lump in his throat. Why is he surprised? Of course Wymack's first instinct isn't to ask who it is, but to help him. "No," he says thickly. "No, I'm not going to look for him."

Wymack gives him a skeptical look. "You sure about that?"

It's a good opening.

He turns a shaky smile on Wymack, though he's sure he won't be able to keep it up for long. "Yes, I'm sure. I don't need to look for him. I've already found him." He straightens his spine, lifting his chin. He can do this. "He's sitting right in front of me."

He can see the moment comprehension dawns on Wymack, his eyes widening, his entire frame tensing.

"I understand you'll want a DNA test," Kevin says, all in a rush, when Wymack takes a beat too long to respond. "I know it's hard to take it on confidence when all you have is a letter in a language you can't read. We'll certainly do that. And I'm not expecting anything from you. I simply thought you should know."

Wymack takes in an audible breath. "And you waited this long to tell me?" he says, his voice quiet enough that Kevin can't read anything into it.

"...I had my reasons," he says weakly. Should he apologize? He thinks he should apologize. He wants to apologize.

"Kayleigh never told me," Wymack says and he still can't figure out what his tone of voice is supposed to convey. "She said..."

"I know," he says, and he can't look away from where the letter sits on the table between them now. "She didn't want you to give up your dreams for that."

"My dreams." Wymack laughs mirthlessly. "My fucking dreams, huh? She really thought that was more important?"

He's not sure what to say to that, so he says nothing.

"You didn't come to me sooner."

Kevin bristles. "I couldn't! If you'd known and the Moriyamas came back for me--"

Wymack sets his elbows on the table and fixes Kevin with a look so outraged that he snaps his mouth shut.

"If the Moriyamas came back for you, I'd have fought for you, blood or no blood! Yes, even if you weren't my son. Even if you weren't Kayleigh's son! What exactly do you take me for?"

Kevin can only stare at him, wide-eyed. "I don't know why you'd do that," he chokes out.

All at once, the fight drains out of Wymack. "Yeah, I guess you wouldn't. For Christ's sake..." He takes in a shaky breath and runs slowly his hands down his face. "For Christ's sake, kid, not everywhere is like the Nest. Haven't we shown you that already while you've been here?"

Kevin blinks hard. "You have." Mostly. He thinks Neil telling him to get a spine might count, too. "I know. But I... I just couldn't...."

Wymack interrupts him before he can say anything more. "Kevin," he says, voice still gone strange. "Get up. Let's go."

And this is... This is what? He can't stand to listen to Kevin anymore? He doesn't want to hear about this anymore? Is that it?

He gets stuck between protesting and standing up, his jaw clenched so hard it hurts.

Wymack must take pity on him though, because he says, "I'm taking you back to your dorm so you can unpack and get some rest. We can..." He sighs heavily and now he rises to his feet, steadying himself with his hands against the edge of the table. "We'll figure all this crap out later. I can't talk about this now. I gotta talk to Abby now anyway."

Abby. Right. He almost forgot.

Kevin stands and looks surreptitiously from Wymack to the foyer and beyond, where he can hear Abby moving around the house, likely giving them time to talk in private. He looks away, the urge to talk to Abby, too, welling up in him. It's not like he goes to her to talk, or even to Betsy, for that matter, but she's...

She's been there the whole time, too. Just like Wymack. Just as unlikely to let him go.

Blood or no blood.

If he hasn't fucked this up anyway.

He swallows and nods slowly at Wymack. "We'll talk later."

"Later," he agrees.

He's exhausted by the time he gets back to Fox Tower, wrung out and left to dry. And it isn't until he's at the door to the dorm that he stops to wonder if Neil told the others.

Fuck. Andrew probably wouldn't tell him not to tell anyone either.

Painstakingly pushing back the urge to turn right back around and get in Wymack's car again--not that he could stand to look at that unreadable expression on Wymack's face for any longer today--he unlocks the door and steps in.

Nicky's the first one he sees, sprawled out across the couch with his eyes on his phone. He looks up when he hears Kevin come in and gives him a small smile.

"Hey, Kev!" he says cheerfully. "Everything okay? Neil said Coach wanted to talk to you."

Kevin stares at him.

"That bad?" Nicky says with a nervous laugh and that's when it hits him.

Neil didn't tell anyone.

He sags in relief, shaking his head. "No. No, we just talked. I'm tired, I'm going to bed." He begins to turn away, then stops, shooting Nicky a quizzical look. "Where are Neil and Andrew?"

"Rooftop, I think." Nicky waggles his eyebrows. "Probably won't be back for a while."

He groans. "I'm going to bed."

Better not to see them now, probably. He has no doubt Neil will tell him something about having to tell the others soon and he just... Doesn't want to deal with that yet.

Shit, Dan will probably be furious.

So if he ends up digging through the cabinets and drinking with Nicky for a while before he goes to bed (passes out on the couch), that's... that's fine.

Neil can't say shit about that.

-

The others find out. He doesn't think Wymack told them, not when their every conversation is still so stilted, so Kevin's just going to blame Neil for that one for now.

It's less painful than he expected, but still more painful than he hoped.

At the end of morning conditioning on Friday, Dan pulls him aside.

And there's what he's been dreading.

"Come on," she tells him as he exits the locker room. "I know you don't have class now."

Kevin glances to where he knows Andrew's waiting for him. He raises an eyebrow at Kevin in question and Kevin shakes his head. Andrew _does_ have class in half an hour and Kevin's generally okay to get from class to class and to the dorms.

Staying behind means he'll have to walk to the dorms this morning though and. Ugh. He knows Dan doesn't get rides from Matt on Monday mornings either, with how quickly he has to leave for his own morning class.

Great. Just great.

Still. _Find your spine,_ he can practically hear Neil telling him and. Okay.

Okay. It's just Dan.

She probably won't hurt him.

After a long moment, where Dan glances behind her to look for him, Andrew nods and turns away to exit the gym.

Then it's just him and Dan.

"Someone told you," he says before she can say anything and how's that for finding his spine?

She presses her lips together, then, "Yeah. Neil did."

Kevin huffs. So he was right. "Right. He was never going to give me a chance to back out of it."

Dan goes still, her eyes hard, and he realizes just a beat too late what he said wrong.

"What? You'd have kept this from coach forever if he hadn't pushed you into it?"

Yes. Yes, he might have. He just might have.

"Does it matter?" is what he says instead, with all the arrogance he can muster. "It was my decision when to tell him, not anyone else's."

Wrong thing to say. "No, it was not! This isn't just about you and he didn't deserve to have you hide this from him!"

"It was a secret my mother was keeping, and it wasn't up to anyone else to dig into her secrets!"

Dan lets out a frustrated sound. "And that's a good enough reason to come to him for protection, to be his assistant coach, to join his team," she says, counting off on her fingers. "To get close to him and just... Never tell him a thing?!"

He stays stubbornly silent. He doesn't know what to say.

"Kevin," she says, voice hardening. "You've got to be fucking kidding me. You were really just... What? Going to graduate and leave and never tell him a word?"

He's still not really expecting to make it to graduation, actually--and it terrifies him, terrifies him so badly he can't sleep sometimes without making himself pass out--but he's not going to tell her that. "Does it matter?" he says again. "He knows now! And so do all of you."

Dan makes an impatient little gesture. "You really thought you could hide that forever? Please, you're not stupid." She takes a step closer to him.

It takes all of the willpower he can muster, but he manages to hold still as she does, even with the thunderous expression she turns on him.

"You're right that this isn't about me," she says. "It's about you and it's about Coach Wymack. But you're not the only one Coach is important to and you damn well better expect me to make sure you won't just fuck him over with this."

"I wouldn't do that," he protests. "And fuck you for thinking I would!"

And he gets it. Really. Dan sees Wymack as more of a father than Kevin ever has.

But... that's something that can change on his end, right? It doesn't have to stay that way.

He also gets, in a distant sort of hazy way, that exercising his spine to argue with his captain is probably not his brightest idea yet, but.

That's the thing. Here's the thing. He's a Fox now, isn't he? Not a Raven. And Dan wouldn't respect him if he just backed off when things got tough.

It makes sense. Vaguely. He can panic about it later.

He's trying.

"Fuck you right back!"

And he figures it's the right call, when rather than reprimand him, that's all she says, as she bulls on like it's nothing, her tone of voice just as angry, not _angrier._

"You know, it's not like I don't get why you didn't say anything," she says. "But you're not fucking stupid either! You know, you goddamn know what hearing this is going to mean to him. You're his goddamn son, Kevin! Two days ago, he didn't think he had any kids at all! Then it turns out he's known his son for two years!"

And that's just... How can he make her understand...

"I couldn't tell him!" he blurts out. "I couldn't tell him just like that!"

"So you had to have someone else push you into telling him!" She opens her mouth to go on, then cuts herself off, running her hands through her short hair. "Enough of this, I can't stand to look at you right now. I'm going to be keeping an eye on you, Kevin." She holds up a finger. "Don't fuck this up more than you already have."

With that, she turns on her heel and briskly walks out.

Kevin doesn't call out after her. He just stands there, trying to catch his breath.

Fuck. He hates this.

Monday doesn't have the decency to leave him the hell alone for the rest of the day though.

That afternoon, Neil calls Kevin as he's getting out of his last class of the day to meet him and Andrew at their dorm, before Nicky gets back.

There, he finds a tense Neil on the couch and Andrew perched on his desk watching them. Kevin does not, for once, miss the weirdly intense look he exchanges with Neil before anyone speaks.

Then Neil's talking about a little meeting he had on his way back to Fox Tower from class.

Ichirou Moriyama wants to talk to them after championships, he says. As the new head of the Moriayamas, his decision on Kevin, Neil, and Jean's fates will hinge on how they do, he says.

"That's ridiculous," Kevin chokes out. "Ichirou barely cares about exy."

"But he cares about his family's investments," Neil says with a grimace. "And that's us."

"We are all going to die," he whimpers.

"No. You're not," Andrew says, like it's that simple.

"We're not," Neil agrees. "I'm not sure what exactly Ichirou's hoping to see, but we can do it. We will."

But Kevin shakes his head and, oh, how he wishes he weren't sober for this. "How are we going to show Ichirou we're worth it as investments? He can't just... He can't mean beating the Ravens?" A terrible thought hits him. "Jean can't even play for the rest of the season! How's our performance supposed to keep him alive?!"

Neil shrugs jerkily. "Then it's up to us to keep Jean alive, right?"

"You're too calm about this." Kevin might try to question him properly, if he weren't too busy just trying to breathe.

Neil gives him a thin smile. "I'm not. But think of it as proving to Ichirou we're worth negotiating with. And we can do it." He sets his hands down on his knees, leaning forward. "So stop being second best, Kevin, and get ready."

"Okay," Kevin breathes, though he feels more like he should vomit. "Okay." He's got no choice.

And that's the end of it for now.

-

"Hey, Kevin," Neil tells him during night practice as soon as he's cleared by Abby to be back on the court.

Kevin doesn't particularly feel up to talking, not when they can be practicing for their _goddamn lives,_ but he waves a hand impatiently and tells him to get on with nonetheless.

He doesn't have time to be tired, in any case.

"Let's do something different tonight," he says.

"No," Kevin says immediately. "We don't have time to be messing around, we need to perfect what we're doing."

Neil holds up his free hand, the other holding his racquet loosely. "Let me explain. We don't know what the Ravens are going to throw at us. Don't you think it's a good idea to be prepared for anything they could do?"

Just what is he getting at?

"The best way we can prepare is by being _good_ at our positions," he says firmly. "You need to work on your footwork, the backliners need to keep the strikers from the goal, and Andrew and Renee need to keep the ball out of our goal. That's all we need to do to be prepared."

Andrew stands up straighter where he's been leaning against the goal at the sound of his name, but stays silent as he continues to watch the two of them.

"We're also a very small team, Kevin. There's other things we should think about."

Kevin huffs. He knows this. He accounts for this as much as he possibly can when he's planning out plays. If any one of them gets injured, there's only so much they can do. But they survived without Neil in the last game, right? They've survived red cards. They have back-up plans.

"Just get to the point," Kevin snaps. "What are you trying to say?"

Neil nods, his expression hardening. "Remember how I was a backliner in little league?" he says, his voice carefully blank. "Renee got some extra practice in as a backliner when we lost Seth. I think I should do the same."

That's...

Hm. He's not sure if he loves that idea.

Kevin holds up a hand, thinking.

There's not _that_ much of a difference between having been a backliner in middle school and having been a backliner in little league, is there? And if Renee could do it...

"That's also time you could be using to improve at your current position," he says slowly, but he's thinking about it.

It could give them an edge. But can they really afford to have a second striker that isn't Neil at the championships?

He doesn't know.

Kevin looks over at Neil again, at the too careful way he's holding himself and the still blank expression on his face, and...

"Do you really think this is important?"

Neil shrugs, still too casual. "I think it might be. I really think it might be."

Kevin glances at Andrew, who only stares back.

"Tonight," he concedes. "Just tonight. We can revisit the idea if I see any real improvement during regular practice tomorrow." He bites the inside of his cheek, then, "And someday, you're going to tell me what the fuck you've been playing at this whole season."

Neil lets out a startled laugh. "Someday, Kevin," he says. "I promise."

He better.

-

Things are... awkward with Wymack for a while. He's not cruel. He doesn't avoid Kevin and Kevin doesn't avoid him. But it's difficult to look at him. It's difficult to talk to him.

He refuses the DNA test until Kevin insists on it, then he barely even seems to want to look at it. But the results are still what both of them expected.

Then... shockingly little changes.

He goes to practice, he goes to class, he goes to practice. Wymack is there and so is the rest of the team and Dan doesn't even give him the cold shoulder.

It's odd.

But there's little time to think about that when the outside world intrudes yet again.

What gets out to the press first isn't about Coach being his father, but it's still nothing good. Someone got pictures of Neil, Andrew, and Coach on their way back to Palmetto and outside some very official-looking offices and there's questions. There's a lot of questions. And Neil's father's name gets out and...

It's only fitting then, isn't it, that during his next post-game interview, Kevin bodily pulls Neil out of sight of the cameras and confesses the name of his own father.

He doesn't have time to be terrified as he does it, so much so he finds himself dropping hints as to what really happened to his hand _in front of the cameras_ and.

And.

The sudden confidence melts away all too quickly.

Oh god, Riko's going to kill him. He really is now.

But he can't regret it either. He just can't.

And if he thinks he sees a hint of approval in the way Dan looks at him as he hurries back into the locker room... He doesn't need anyone's approval anyway, now, does he?

...Even if it does feel good. Better than.

Then it's Thea visiting and that's another kick in the pants.

One he can't decide whether he'd have liked to be able to avoid or not, but a kick in the pants, nonetheless. And it plants an idea in his mind.

She's yet another person who wants him to stop running and stop avoiding everything he can.

And there's the game against the Trojans, that amazing fucking terrible idea of a game that's the only reason the Foxes advance. He doesn't know whether he wants to kiss Jeremy or punch Jeremy for it, but Kevin thinks it might be one of the best games he's ever played and ever will play.

By then, he's almost sure of it. It's all about to come to an end, one way or another.

Most importantly of all, he stops being second best.

-

The day before the final game, Kevin skips out on night practice for once to get one last thing done.

Later, he's not sure how much he drank that night, or even how he managed to convince Wymack to help him do it, but by the next morning he's got a different, better, tattoo and he can't find it in himself to regret it at all.

For the first time, he feels almost ready to face the Ravens. And he knows well enough by now that's the best he's going to get.

The time to actually face the Ravens comes too quick. No amount of training and no amount of thinking about it prepares him to step into Evermore again, but he's here. He's here, because he's chosen to be. He's here.

And he's not alone.

Wymack's saying something about greeting everyone who's come to the friends and family box, support and whatnot. But that's a distraction, when they've got such a big game ahead of them. Besides, Thea's watching from a different part of the court and.

And.

He lifts his chin and looks at Wymack, reminding himself he can do this. "I don't need to speak to any of them," he says, as much confidence as he can muster. "Thea's in South. The Foxes are here." And, oh, he sounds like Neil there. That's terrible. "And, in any case, my father is already here. He's been at every one of my games this season."

Something in Wymack's expression tightens, then softens. He hopes...

No. No, he's sure it was the right thing to say.

Abby smiles at him and that helps, too.

"Kevin," Wymack says, sighing. "You and me've got a lot to talk about when the season is over. But, listen, I..." He shakes his head helplessly. "Your mother would be proud of you, kid."

Kevin clears his throat. "Not just of me," he says and that's all he can handle for now.

Later. For now, all he can think about is the game.

He locks eyes with Riko as they all file onto the court and clutches his racquet so tightly his hands hurt at the look he turns on Kevin.

It'd be easy. It'd be so easy to lay down and give up at the sight, at the confidently cruel look Riko gives him. But he can't do that anymore. He can't, he can't.

Kevin's got his team with him. He's got Wymack and Abby and even Jean, all the way in California now.

It's too late to turn back.

Edgar Allan is tough, the hardest game he's ever played--he'd expect no less from the Ravens. But the Foxes rise up to meet the challenge in ways he'd have never expected. Kevin thinks he might actually fucking cry when Andrew, of all people, shows interest and puts in actual effort to win the game.

Neil grins at him through his helmet as he takes position as a backliner for one quarter and Kevin can't decide whether to be frustrated or pleased that, once again, he had an unnatural level of foresight.

Fuck it.

He can decide when he's not in the middle of the game itself.

Then they win against the Ravens. He's not sure what he's supposed to feel.

Beyond sheer and utter _terror_ as Riko aims that goddamn racquet at Neil, that is. Beyond the horror when he sees Andrew get between them and show Riko just what he can do with a racquet.

And later, later, with Wymack's hand on his shoulder and a smile on Neil's lips after he returns from an unexpected meeting with Ichirou Moriyama...

He thinks that might just be elation he's feeling.

* * *

This time, when he's summoned after the game against the Ravens, he's prepared.

Neil has some experience, now, in negotiating with Ichirou Moriyama. Ichirou, he's found, has no interest in being the bad guy. What Neil has learned is that he doesn't want to be bothered by the side branch's whole business with exy any more than he absolutely has to. Therefore, making himself, Kevin, and Jean as unobtrusive to him as possible is his plan from the start this time, giving Ichirou exactly what he wants by not making him deal with three stupid collegiate exy players more than he absolutely has to.

The ending of the meeting is familiar.

It ends with Riko dead, his utter recklessness finally too much of a threat to the family for Ichirou to ignore. Again.

There's more negotiations to be had. Stuart, in West Virginia again for the championships, promises to stay States-side this time and intervene a little longer, no doubt feeling the guilt about Neil having been kidnapped even after contacting him.

Riko's... _allies_ throughout all this are soon to be taken care of and Andrew might not outwardly react to the news, but Neil lets himself smile, wide and sharp, when he tells him.

Then, a week after the win against the Ravens, he's sure of his future.

"We're broke, Andrew!" Neil announces as soon as he enters their room in Columbia that Saturday.

Andrew, perched on the edge of the desk, feet just barely grazing the carpet, raises an eyebrow at him.

Neil shrugs and moves to close the distance between them. Andrew, very obligingly, spreads his legs so Neil can stand between them. "Ichirou wanted what was left of the money my mother took from Nathan," Neil says. "My uncle agreed."

Andrew hums, nodding, and looks back down at the book in his hands. "You're broke," he corrects. "I was already broke."

Neil considers that. "All right, fair. But now we're broke together."

"Just what I should have expected," Andrew says without looking up. "Will you continue to be broke when he takes one hundred percent of your salary this time?"

Neil huffs out a laugh and, slow enough that Andrew can see what he's doing, drapes his arms over Andrew's shoulders. "Eighty percent of our salaries during five years in the pros," he says and gets to watch the way Andrew's face changes when he's actually caught by surprise.

Eyes wide and mouth looking like it can't decide between a frown and a grimace, Andrew looks up at him again, a silent question in his expression.

Neil doesn't smile, but it's a close thing. "The Hatfords are taking care of the rest of everything. Uncle Stuart," he says in an undertone. "Felt very bad."

"Lucky you."

"Uh-huh. Lucky me and lucky Kevin and lucky Jean."

"I do not care about Jean," Andrew sneers.

"But Kevin's your friend," Neil says.

"Disgusting. Never say that again."

Drama queen.

Neil laughs outright now, then rests his forehead in the crook of Andrew's neck. "Sure, sure, whatever you say."

Andrew sets his book aside and slowly, so slowly, he raises his arms to encircle Neil's waist, tugging him closer by the belt loops.

Neil goes easily and lifts his head, sinking into the kiss Andrew offers when he tilts his chin up.

He'll need to talk to Stuart again and make sure this is all as permanent as it can be and there aren't any more hidden traps lying in wait. But not now.

Later, when he's sprawled out on the bed, he thinks: this is the rest of his life now.

Again.

And it feels real.

Maybe it's a dream. Maybe he'll wake up in a hospital room somewhere having taken a blow to the head in the court.

Maybe he'll wake right back up in his bed in Denver, Andrew beside him.

Maybe he'll wake in a ditch somewhere in Europe, having been too slow and not clever enough to escape the Butcher's men.

Maybe he'll wake up in a windowless room in Evermore, in a basement in Baltimore. Or, worst of all, maybe he'll wake up to find himself back in Millport, in time for graduation, and Wymack will never come to recruit him.

Or maybe he'll wake up and it'll be the next day here in Palmetto. And the next, and the next, Andrew beside him and his family with him, and he'll find he gets to keep this.

Because this unexpected second chance feels more real than anything else.

It's with that thought that he can let himself drift off, the warmth of Andrew's solid body against him, his arm thrown across Neil's chest.

* * *

The end of the season comes by yet again and, with it, David breathes a sigh of relief.

Christ, but the team's tested him this year. Not as badly as the year before, thank fucking god, at least no one died this year and there's been no sign of the goddamn mob. But, somehow, the mundane problems of the freshmen adjusting to the team, defying David, Dan, and Neil every step of the way, have been even more of a pain in his ass. Not to mention Dan, Renee, and Allison being about to graduate.

He watches the team file into the locker room after the last game of the season--a second championship trophy to see his oldest team members off, he thinks with a stab of fierce pride--and resists the urge to collapse onto a chair himself.

It's over for now. And he couldn't be prouder of every single one of those little shits.

Neil and Andrew lag behind, as usual, and David pretends he can't see or hear them whispering to each other in the corner. The whole team knows by now, but even so, he's not sure how they ever thought they were sneaky or subtle.

The way they looked at each other in Millport, David muses, was not entirely unlike the way Matt looked at Dan during his first year at Palmetto. Maybe none of these other blind assholes saw it, but David always sees more than he strictly wants to.

So, honestly, how the fuck was he going to be surprised at any of this?

David rolls his eyes and heads to his office, figuring he can come back out when the whole team's ready again. Josten and Minyard can do whatever the hell they want.

It's none of his fucking business and he doesn't want it to be.

He can even pretend to be surprised when they go and elope before their graduations or spend the rest of their lives pretending they're not in a relationship. Hell if he knows which one's more likely. Maybe neither.

He's damn sure they'll make a nuisance of themselves either way.

Despite himself, he's looking forward to it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Self-indulgent ending??? Extremely self-indulgent ending. I'm weak, that's my secret.
> 
> Much more importantly though: thank you all so, _so_ much again. I'm still absolutely in awe at the response to this fic and just!! Very grateful! I know I must seem like a broken record just saying THANK YOU over and over again in the notes and in response to comments, but!! I mean it, honest. Thank you all SO much and I hope you enjoyed this fic! <3


End file.
